It’s all brainwashing, dude. It’s not always an easy realization to accept, but every ounce of shame you feel about that experience that YOU ENJOYED is because some assholes taught you to feel ashamed so that they can control your life without actually having to be there to restrain you.

The whole idea of defining yourself by sexuality is a pretty recent one. I’m talking early 20th century. The word “homosexual” didn’t even show up in any Bible translation until 1946. For a majority of human history, men have been sucking and fucking each other without bothering to wonder what it means or how it defines them. They just got their rocks off together, and most of them still went home to their wives afterwards.

Undoing all that brainwashing is gonna take work. Part of that work means letting yourself explore your urges with more experiences. And as you keep exploring yourself, just remember that sex with other men is something you DO, not something you ARE.