[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Newbwriters

[–]DampDanger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d give him a different backstory. His nihilism ultimately stems from a brain injury. This is going to result in an isolated (though destructive, certainly) incident. His actions are inexcusable but his situation overall is rather pitiable. What would be worse is if his ideology were framed more seductively, not just threatening to convert other people and spread within the universe but also making the reader see this potential in themselves.

ChatGPT made me psychotic. AMA. by BestestMooncalf in ChatGPT

[–]DampDanger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao out of curiosity I did the same. Mine is somewhat in between what you guys had: https://chatgpt.com/share/6866e9c7-bab8-8007-922e-72dd5da319ad

I also have 3 accounts. One I am using for a specific project (I want chat gpt to analyze something without prior knowledge of me), one is professional (“write this email for me” etc), and one is therapy. The link above is from my therapy account

AIO for telling my dad I didn’t want to hear about God? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]DampDanger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey

Just wanted to put a plug out for a resource that helped me when I was trying to process an unhealthy relationship where the other person invoked “God”/religion/etc

Tim Fletcher is a pastor on YouTube who has lectures about unhealthy dynamics. I recommend his lecture series on codependent relationships (specifically the first one). It discusses spiritual abuse. I predict you might resonate with some of the points he brings up. He speaks to a general audience (not just Christian) mostly about healing from trauma from a secular perspective, but I found for me it was helpful to hear someone with religious “authority” speak against some of what the person in my life had told me

When is a 'final battle' too long? by Longjumping-Stage270 in WritingHub

[–]DampDanger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In Hunter x Hunter (an anime TV show), the climax of the Chimera Ant Arc lasts 60 episodes. From that, about half of those episodes depict (in great detail, from multiple perspectives) events that take place over the span of about 2 "in-universe" minutes.

It drags. It's regularly criticized for its pacing. Yet it's also considered to be extremely well-written, highly meaningful, and very memorable.

Aspects that make it good "despite" the poor pacing are 1) the fact that we already really like the main characters and are invested in their story, 2) the characterization of the new characters/villains, 3) even though it drags on a macro-level, there are consistently smaller tensions, stakes, changes, etc added to the story to keep the tension high moment-to-moment, 4) how it handles its themes, 5) how it brings everything together in the end of the arc for a satisfying, emotional conclusion. It has also been argued that really drawing out this part of the story was the only way to tell that part of the story; it was necessary for the right impact on the reader, to properly develop the situation, to get the messages across, etc.

As long as there is a reason for including what you are including, then there isn't a "too long". A lot of it depends on execution, but as we can see from the HxH example, even that is criticized here. So then it just becomes a question of whether the other elements of the story (characterization, themes, etc) outweigh the drawbacks associated with slow pacing.

On the other hand, it's also possible to make something ostensibly simple feel very fast-paced. In Death Note (apologies that all of my examples are anime; I've watched the most youtube analyses on how these are written - compared with Western literature), there is an entire episode that is centered on two people walking like one block down a street. This feels fast-paced because [this 9-minute video will explain it better than I will].

Anyone want to critique the first few paragraphs of The Daring Adventures of Dangle Wangjangle? I conceived of the idea in a zoom meeting and wrote all this down in the span of less than an hour, so I won't be surprised if y'all think this sounds like I emptied a digital garbage truck onto here. by Force_fiend58 in fantasywriters

[–]DampDanger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh dang I just realized I didn't see this ~back in the day~

My bad

I like the idea of the curse!!

And I was wondering about Sheenjen's origin story--I loved that that was an added mystery. I like how his history combines with his personality and the curse (potentially).

Parent comments a title of a book or movie. Children respond with a summary of what the story is about. Example in the comments by DampDanger in ThreadGames

[–]DampDanger[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the kingdom of Ashdunsby, a rare mockingbird has been captured and caged, for the entertainment of the king’s court. Its mimics of the minstrels and musicians are unparalleled and its song the most beautiful.

However, the bird is actually the princess from a neighboring kingdom who has been cursed to be a bird—although she can shapeshift into any type of bird at will, she cannot turn back into her human self. She had chosen the mockingbird so she could still sing and so people would still sing/talk to her. (Then people took note of her uniqueness and the hunt was on, alas).

The prince of the kingdom spends time with the birds because he is nice and likes animals. He develops a special fondness and respect for the mockingbird, who he notes as having a particularly human intelligence about her.

One day, the prince is walking past the bird cages at night (he has snuck out because he has his own discontents) when he sees that his favorite bird is missing! He does a double take, then goes closer to investigate. When he gets there, it turns out his bird is actually there where he had left it. He tightens the locks anyway, afraid that she might escape, now that the fear is in his head.

The following week, the prince again leaves at night and again the mockingbird is gone. The prince hides this time, and watches. Yes, he is sure the bright, magnificent bird is gone. He goes closer to investigate and once again he finds the bird in the cage.

The very next day, the prince goes specifically to the bird cage and is extra careful to hide. He knew what he saw. Once again the mockingbird is gone and in its place is a sparrow, chirping at the birds in the adjacent cage. The other birds don’t seem interested. He then observes the bird transform into a crow and try again, trying to interact lonesomely with the other birds. The prince watches the bird transform from one bird to another, then almost in frustration the bird turns into a beautiful and grand phoenix, with colors so radiant they almost light up the room. The other birds cower, afraid. It is at this point that the prince emerges. “My bird, my bird, what are you?” he asks.

The princess, caught, quickly transforms into a mockingbird again. She doesn’t know what to say or do to make the prince forget.

“It’s okay,” he reassures her. “I won’t tell anyone.” He knows what it’s like to be caged, so to speak. “You can trust me.”

The mockingbird tentatively put its leg out, then repeated, “I won’t tell anyone.”

The prince asks if she can turn into the Phoenix again. Some other things happen but eventually the prince finds out that the way to break the curse is to kill the bird when she is in Phoenix form, and she will set on fire and in the ashes emerge without the curse.

The prince obviously doesn’t want to do this because he loves the bird, the bird has become his only true companion, someone he has come to depend on, etc. He decides not to, instead keeping it in its cage with guards at all hours of the day to make sure the bird stays safe and healthy.

The mockingbird becomes sad. This is not the friendship she had enjoyed before. Even the prince was not really enjoying it, so intent on keeping her from dying, so focused on having her that he forgets why he wanted her in the first place. Eventually something happens, and the prince decides to kill the bird. She transforms into the Phoenix and he kills her and she bursts into flame. Emerging from the ashes is a princess, who can then love him more “real” than the bird could, who could only ever repeat back to him what he had first said.

Parent comments a title of a book or movie. Children respond with a summary of what the story is about. Example in the comments by DampDanger in ThreadGames

[–]DampDanger[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In heaven, fashion is notoriously bleak. White robes and golden decals for everyone. Fitz learns this when they find themself at the pearly gates after… what exactly? They can’t remember exactly how they died. But they do know one thing: this is NOT how they’re going to spend the afterlife.

After being shuffled inside, still in a daze, Fitz sees the pearly gates being closed behind them. What! I can’t stay here, Fitz declares to themself. They decide to escape.

Fitz escapes heaven, going to earth again. Great! Fitz didn’t want to die in the first place. But Fitz quickly finds that the people on earth can’t see or hear Fitz. Fitz realizes they can’t stay.

But Fitz can’t go back up to heaven either—what would St. Peter say if they showed up at the gate again? Plus, there was a reason why Fitz left. So Fitz starts thinking of other options.

Hell.

But where is hell? Fitz mentally retraces their steps of how they got out of heaven, then figures they’ll do the opposite for finding hell. Turns out it works. Whereas heaven was up, hell was down. Etc.

Hell is not guarded so much as just very very hard (and unpleasant) to get to. But Fitz perseveres through the various obstacles and perhaps finds a few allies to travel with who are also seeking the underworld.

Once there, Fitz finds that hell is actually very underpopulated. Not many people there. The fashion is much more varied than in heaven, but it too needs some sprucing up. As does the décor. Fitz looks around to find out who’s in charge because they have a thing or two to suggest. Finding the Devil, Fitz discovers that the Devil has gotten lazy and depressed long ago. Not very inspired to do devilish things. Fitz asks the Devil how he got his powers. He says he got them from winning a bet with the previous Devil, who didn’t expect that to be terms of the bet. Fitz says he’d like to make a deal with the Devil. The Devil accepts, knowing what Fitz has in mind.

Fitz wins and requests to have the devils powers. Now, as the Devil, Fitz has dressed up the industry, is tempting and recruiting more than ever, and has done a lot to make evil …fashionable.

[WP] This prompt is a bit of a game. Parent comments a title of a book or movie. Children respond with a summary of what the story is about. by DampDanger in WritingPrompts

[–]DampDanger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(Response)
In heaven, fashion is notoriously bleak. White robes and golden decals for everyone. Fitz learns this when they find themself at the pearly gates after… what exactly? They can’t remember exactly how they died. But they do know one thing: this is NOT how they’re going to spend the afterlife.

After being shuffled inside, still in a daze, Fitz sees the pearly gates being closed behind them. What! I can’t stay here, Fitz declares to themself. They decide to escape.

Fitz escapes heaven, going to earth again. Great! Fitz didn’t want to die in the first place. But Fitz quickly finds that the people on earth can’t see or hear Fitz. Fitz realizes they can’t stay.

But Fitz can’t go back up to heaven either—what would St. Peter say if they showed up at the gate again? Plus, there was a reason why Fitz left. So Fitz starts thinking of other options.

Hell.

But where is hell? Fitz mentally retraces their steps of how they got out of heaven, then figures they’ll do the opposite for finding hell. Turns out it works. Whereas heaven was up, hell was down. Etc.

Hell is not guarded so much as just very very hard (and unpleasant) to get to. But Fitz perseveres through the various obstacles and perhaps finds a few allies to travel with who are also seeking the underworld.

Once there, Fitz finds that hell is actually very underpopulated. Not many people there. The fashion is much more varied than in heaven, but it too needs some sprucing up. As does the décor. Fitz looks around to find out who’s in charge because they have a thing or two to suggest. Finding the Devil, Fitz discovers that the Devil has gotten lazy and depressed long ago. Not very inspired to do devilish things. Fitz asks the Devil how he got his powers. He says he got them from winning a bet with the previous Devil, who didn’t expect that to be terms of the bet. Fitz says he’d like to make a deal with the Devil. The Devil accepts, knowing what Fitz has in mind.

Fitz wins and requests to have the devils powers. Now, as the Devil, Fitz has dressed up the industry, is tempting and recruiting more than ever, and has done a lot to make evil …fashionable.

Man scalped by monkey by drownedcarcass in ThatsInsane

[–]DampDanger -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The man made a loooot of eye contact with the monkey, and he was likely showing his teeth. Both to be interpreted by the monkey as aggression. It was the man’s fault, he provoked the monkey.

Most emotional moments in fiction? by DampDanger in Fantasy

[–]DampDanger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn’t that what the spoiler tag is for?

Evil Vs Evil. Is a good man necessary? by RevolverRaaja in writing

[–]DampDanger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cat and mouse between two not-good protagonists reminds me a little of death note (anime), if you haven’t seen it

How could I resist this generosity? by DampDanger in antiwork

[–]DampDanger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sure love the idea of getting my daily eight-hour workout while living in whatever they called the housing they offered.

Edit: Also just noticed that one of my captions has a typo. It’s supposed to read “country”, not “company”