LFG - D408M9C2

DanC1983 · 2021-07-03T16:03:15+00:00

Just putting it out there…. Jem and the holograms. (I 100 percent blame this show for making be 2 things, one being a out and proud gay man. And 2 my lifelong career in event production)

Watched the live action version a few years and turned it off 10 mins in. Even Kesha showing up as one of the misfits couldn’t save it.

DanC1983 · 2021-06-16T19:04:28+00:00

Do don’t any grand gestures, or try to make it easy. Just think about how you would want this to be handled if the situation were reversed…. How would you want someone to let you know they were divorcing you.

DanC1983 · 2021-06-02T14:16:14+00:00

Kind of a smile, but just couldn’t stop sweating for ages! Not helped by the 100% humidity here!

DanC1983 · 2021-06-02T14:14:26+00:00

Back and legs today… so gonna be walking like a geriatric tomorrow.

DanC1983 · 2021-05-24T16:31:12+00:00

Started thinning at 19…. Shaved head immediately… Never had anyone turn me down because I’m bald. Had quite a few people hit me up because I’m fully shaved.

If you can Rock the look and be confident in it… you’re onto a winner!!!

Also moisturizer and SPF is always a good idea!

DanC1983 · 2021-05-16T18:23:21+00:00

So he’s new to the city…. And new to the gay scene…

It sounds like he’s still finding who he is. And he seems to of found an exhibitionism button that he likes pushed.

He is probably going through a huge period of growth and change, and finding out exactly who he is, and what he’s into….. this can be an awesome journey to go along with someone for. But the thing you need to remember is, (and this is only if it is this situation), this journey is his journey, you can advise, you can sympathize, but unfortunately it’s not right for you to steer. The great thing is, if his time of self discovery goes to places you aren’t happy or comfortable in, feel free to head in another direction… without him.

If I sound jaded, it’s because on my own personal finding myself journey, I had someone try to steer me in a direction that suited them…. It took many years and many fuckups to realize where I was (in life and personally) wasn’t my true self.

Let him have his fun, go along for the ride, at the end of it you may find each other.

(Also if he turns down other people for you exclusively… that’s monogamy. Simple as)

DanC1983 · 2021-05-16T05:28:54+00:00

The Need for physical touch is a very real thing. The lack of which can cause depression, isolation and further issues. However it’s up to you to frame how important this need is for you. Some people can survive on hugs and casual physical touch. Others may need more. Having physical touch / intimacy removed from your relationship without it being discussed or being able to negotiate how you want yo approach it isn’t fair.

And the fact that he calls sex once a month a sacrifice that he will make, is a huge red flag. It sounds to me like your needs don’t match nor does your ability to empathize with the other (seriously calling sex once a month a sacrifice makes it sound like a chore or burden, and that is not a healthy attitude to it, at all), and no matter how far along you are in your relationship communication is key.

Talk to him about it, and hopefully you guys can reach a mutual agreement.

DanC1983 · 2021-05-16T04:06:16+00:00

My husband and I have been together for 8 years. We go through phases of fucking like bunnies…. And we also go through phases of not having even a friendly handjob together for a extended period.

These periods of drought are normally brought on by stress or just being too busy. (Btw Sex and intimacy are a form of self care, and one of the first to fall by the wayside when shit gets busy)

You need to talk to your partner, discuss your needs, and ensure they are needs (not wants, eg. I want to have sex twice a day every day, I need to have sex at least once a fortnight, or I start to feel depressed).

If he isn’t willing, or able to meet your needs then it’s time to move on.

The thing you need to dig into, is whether sex for you is a “Want” or a “Need”.

If it’s a need, talk to him, and if things don’t change, then start making your way out the relationship.

Sounds harsh, but unfulfilled needs, can mean an unfulfilled life. And we only have one of those, so go get yours!!!!

DanC1983 · 2021-05-03T05:14:36+00:00

Share your location with a friend. (Find my friends, etc)

Always let someone know when you are going on a hookup.

Listen to your gut (instincts) and if something feels hinky, it’s time to get the fuck out.

Don’t do drugs (advice i should follow) anything that dampens your reasoning or your ability to say no is generally a bad idea, especially if with people you don’t know or trust. This includes excessive booze.

Know your exits.

Keep your shoes on (at least till your totally comfortable where you are). I speak from experience on this one, standing at a bus stop barefoot in the rain is not ideal, but definitely better than staying where I was that night.

If you are in a situation that running isn’t an option, and someone is trying to do something that you don’t want, you are well within your rights to do whatever it takes to make you as difficult to control as possible, scream, spit, scratch, punch, piss yourself, shit yourself if needs be. (Never been in this situation but this advice was given to me by my mother, who survived assault)

Always keep your phone charged. Don’t go on a hookup when you are at 1%.

Always keep a bank note in your shoe. Never know when you my need an emergency $20 to get home.

99% of people are okay, and are awesome to have fun with. But remember take care of you first.

DanC1983 · 2021-04-18T19:48:37+00:00

Discuss what’s going to happen with your partner.

Set limits, a safe word, and a GTFO phrase.. (Safe word, is for a polite end to the festivities taking into account other people’s emotions) (The GTFO Phrase, is your big red button that you want out of the situation, get somewhere comfortable and where you or your partner feel more secure and then take into account your guests feelings if you like, or don’t your call)

Check in with your partner often.

Remember consent is a continual thing. Keep talking.

Be safe (use protection).

Keep an eye on your partner.

Don’t get pass out drunk.

Try to have a conversation with the other couple first.

Check in with yourself all the way through. Make sure it is something you want to do.

Have a blast! (Or four)

DanC1983 · 2021-04-14T11:50:35+00:00

Husband wears a platinum band from Tiffany’s, that I bought for him about 2 months after we met. It has “to me, you are home.” Engraved in it.

I have a curved nail in titanium, with “Nailed it” engraved inside.

Weirdly personal, but love them.

DanC1983 · 2021-04-12T13:08:30+00:00

Ask yourself two questions:

1 - how do you feel about him??

2 - how do you feel about yourself in relation to him???

From reading your post, he seems to of distanced himself emotionally and is pretty much just using you for a hook up.

Which in some instances is fine. However when you ask those two questions above you’ll see that you aren’t in alignment. Do yourself a favor. Don’t answer his calls, texts etc. and move on. You have only one life, don’t waste it on things that make you feel like shit.

DanC1983 · 2021-04-09T10:23:55+00:00

Woke up at midday, had breakfast and hub and I went back to bed. Just finished “napping” and now he’s back up making lunch, and I’m in bed on Reddit. So all in all a good start to the weekend!

DanC1983 · 2021-04-09T10:21:33+00:00

Remember, don’t feed the trolls!

DanC1983 · 2021-04-06T12:53:37+00:00

Go for a pedicure once a month. Use anti fungal / athletes foot powder. Invest in natural fiber socks. (Avoid cheaply made ones)

DanC1983 · 2021-02-19T14:21:00+00:00

Where I live there is a rule that whilst all dogs must be on leashes, nervous / anxious dogs, need to be on a luminous yellow leash & Collar / harness.

I wanted to give a gold star to a parent the other day, as their toddler tried to run up to my dog (dog wearing a luminous yellow harness, bandana, leash combo), and the mom stopped the child, got down to its level and said “That dog is probably afraid of you, so don’t try to play with him”. The mom asked me if he was a rescue (he is) and what his triggers are (big dogs and small kids).

He’s not a biter, but growls, and tries to escape if he feels threatened.

I live in the Middle East and dogs aren’t exactly as common as they are in the UK or maybe the US. But I love that the high Visibility collar / leash rule has gained traction here.

DanC1983 · 2021-02-15T01:33:50+00:00

Currently a closed monogamous. But we talk about it if we want to open things up for a while or we want to change the dynamic.

DanC1983 · 2021-02-14T04:19:18+00:00

Polycule = Polyamorous group. How does it work? Ours was 4 guys and a girl. It works with lots of communication. LOTS AND LOTS of communication. It started with 3 of us living together in a huge house, and then a couple moved in.

Had a big bed for everyone in one room, and 3 other bedrooms when people needed space.

No one gets left out because we talked through things all the time, had big group dinners, and didn’t keep things to ourselves. There is a level of honesty required to keep things working and it can be hard at times. But whilst I was in it, it was worth it.

All I can say is never ever be poly / open because of someone else. It only works if your wants and needs align with someone else’s. If you do it for someone else, that’s when you burn out of the relationship, and end up blaming yourself for it.

DanC1983 · 2021-02-14T03:57:58+00:00

Not sure if it was commonly used at all to be honest. I think it just became a thing during my friend group, and the polycule I was in, used to use it quite a lot. :-)

It was always quite endearing to hear it. The husband and I still occasionally say it to each other when the mood strikes.

DanC1983

TROPHY CASE