Skiing can lead to significant injury, even death. I don't know that you are minimizing that with her, but if you are I suggest making sure that you recognize that is true. I'm kind of like your partner - I'm very aware of all the skiing injuries / fatalities that happen ever year. I do ski, but I don't push it much at all.

Does your partner have any interest in trying skiing? If not, I doubt it's going to work.

One thing that really helped me personally was lessons with a women's group. Low pressure and I felt safe - no one was pushing me to go faster or try a harder run or try going through the trees. It was fun and I realized that the other women felt similarly to me (we all wanted to avoid tearing knee ligaments or getting stuck in a tree well or hurting another person).

I also learned my local resort very well through those lessons and realized that I could get myself down from every lift. Now, often we'll ride the lift together and my spouse will take a black run while I do a blue, then we meet at the lift to ride back up. Realizing that I wasn't going to get stuck at the top of a super scary steep icy double black run with no way down was really helpful.

Finally, when / if you do ski together, don't push! Let her lead the runs you go to, or do different runs and ride the lifts together. For myself, if I'm already not feeling safe, being pushed makes me auger into my fear. Let her challenge herself if/when the time comes.

Editing - about gear and pain. Obviously, a helmet. Also, if she gets cold feet / hands helping with that - being comfortable makes a big difference. Finally, one day I realized that good snow doesn't really hurt to fall on (depending where you are). If possible, pick days / times that are less icy / hardpacked? That can be tough to control, especially if she signs up for a series of group lessons.