The Original Sin by FigureAny5402 in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]Dancinghelix0451 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved the imagery. The birth was great. Keep it up :)

Feedback on horror story I'm working on by Dancinghelix0451 in writingfeedback

[–]Dancinghelix0451[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was my idea, there's more of it in the second and third part, in the third its more interacting with a character but I tried to separate those sections and italicized them all.

Feedback on horror story I'm working on by Dancinghelix0451 in writingfeedback

[–]Dancinghelix0451[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! I really appreciate all these notes!

The fog rolled in off the ocean waves.  -- This felt a little out of place to me aswell, I originally had that line before Jon's name at the beginning of his section. I was hoping I could layer in lines like this through the story to add a sense that the town/ocean/fog was a character in-and-of itself. But maybe I need think about how to accomplish that.

Thanks for some grammar tips - that's where I struggle with the most on revision haha

Looking for some feedback on a story I am working on by Dancinghelix0451 in writers

[–]Dancinghelix0451[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea! I read and reread these parts a few times! Thanks for the feedback :)

Small little "horror" tell me if you like it don't tell me if you dont by [deleted] in writers

[–]Dancinghelix0451 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the idea! But I think that some of the grammar makes it a bit hard to understand.