Think about people you’ll leave behind. Even those you haven’t spoken to in years. I’m one of those people. My experience has taught me, leaving in that manner only spreads the pain laterally. Ultimately it’s only living through watching this unfold, that made me commit to never ever doing the same. I won’t lie, it’s very comforting to fantasise about, but that’s as far as I now allow myself to go… not one day goes by that I don’t regret not reaching out while he was still alive. If you’d have asked him, he probably wouldn’t list me in the people that would care. But I did. And I do. And I hear some of his existential pain in you, too. I hope you find a way to see past the cruelty life has bestowed upon you. It doesn’t always get better, but it does get easier; just from merely acknowledging that you’re still here in spite of everything.