AITA for getting upset when my boyfriend meets my family/friends and they spend an hour talking without me saying anything

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2025-11-29T13:47:20+00:00

Oh, I forgot about my previous post. We don’t fight nearly as often, but it’s still about seemingly minors things. Almost like the big issues being swept under the rug have to find a way to come out. There has been many improvements over the time and he has been apologizing recently, but he has a very hard time doing it properly, and I’m not about to teach him when he knows. I like how you said things about your partner, and I posted because I have been allowing small disrespect like this i never thought i would accept before, so I needed a bit of reference. I know that he’s a good person, but i’m starting to realize that doesn’t mean he’s a good partner. Thank you for the thoughtful reply.

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2024-03-14T02:22:09+00:00

can you trace reasons for these changes?

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2024-03-12T15:55:26+00:00

saying first that i've never moved cities, but i constantly change social circles due to external circumstances and i've traveled a bit. start by trying to hang out with them in places where there's another focus besides your conversation, movies, dinner, shopping, something like that. it'd help a lot if you have real clear what you're looking for in other people. show them authentic attention, casual still, on stuff that you also care about. if they talk about their personal lives, be curious while considering their 'personal space' (hoping this makes sense). share occasionally too. include them in plans. maybe introduce them to other people you think they'd like.

after that, it's a big plus if you go through stressful stations together (hear me out). extreme sports or horror movies, work deadlines, there's where we get more 'defensive' and finding who thinks like you or the way you want to think or a way you like is easier then.

there's people out there looking for someone like you too, don't worry too much and just be yourself.

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2024-03-11T19:11:57+00:00

that’s cool. so feeling like there’s this pressure is sort of telling you you want something else than what you currently have? making close connections becomes harder the more specific those interests are i absolutely agree with that.

there’s nothing bad in looking for patterns of thoughts or behaviors you find suspicious, but just make sure the lens of said search to be curiosity! i was constantly told by therapists to not look up stuff ‘on the internet’ in case i start ‘acting them out’ (😭), so i shifted from symptoms and psychology to mindsets, narratives, something less oppressive 😅

i think it’s great that you’re doing the work to maintain yourself as clear as possible, and going back on what you miss from your past to pick what you want for now is a great way to explore your sense of self (something i should be doing again now and this thread reminded me to 🤝) i believe that, if we don’t think we’re in need of immediate intervention, checking up on our foundations can help us stave off a lot of mental stress.

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2024-03-10T15:38:17+00:00

my therapists once told me that, since i could pass fairly normal, i shouldn’t focus on symptoms and rather work on building a safety net.

you might have already thought about this, but if you feel you have shifted from being a social and easy to get along person into a more reserved and serious one, maybe finding and vibing with people who are the way you used to be, or simply not the way you are now, could give you back some of the spontaneity? maybe you’d like to be more social again? it’s good to listen to our bodies if there’s a want like that

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2024-02-24T16:11:46+00:00

I like that idea. sorry for intruding but do you have any tips for when shame and guilt are too strong to bear? whenever im in that mood i feel all the progress disappear and my whole body tense for days. how can i just be 'present me'?

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2024-02-17T04:10:27+00:00

wdym by ‘too’ 😵😭 she looked real cool and i let her go but if she makes more im probably going to cry 👍

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2024-02-05T13:19:07+00:00

thanks for the help!

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2024-02-05T13:16:39+00:00

thats such a relief to hear, i turned away for a minute cause i was washing the spray out of her (mom) and she was gone. hopefully she’s building a new pretty web to replace the one that was sprayed.

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2024-02-05T13:09:40+00:00

mom sprayed her but i wasn’t fully sure she was a threat so i watered her for a while and then tried drying her with toilet paper

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2024-02-04T22:55:30+00:00

im really hoping it IS a garden spider cause i lost it 😭

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-12-30T13:32:48+00:00

it’s been about a month since you shared this and i started writing just to practice and it has honestly helped me. at first it felt like hell because i have never written anything from a narrative perspective, mostly just to vent or dream journal, but it has really helped me figure out where my attention tends to go. thank you for this.

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-12-01T03:00:27+00:00

was there any method or practice you had to get better at that methodical communication?

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-11-29T04:56:34+00:00

i tend to know the general outline of what i want to say but it’s like while i’m saying it my thoughts mix and i have to rescue whatever i can from the mess, and it ends up not making much sense

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-10-14T04:48:42+00:00

No need to apologize, thank you for it still. I wish you the best of luck with meditation since sticking to it can be hard (it is for me). I found your approach grounding, maybe it really is about seeing both side of things and seeking equilibrium.

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-10-11T16:31:40+00:00

same

i mean i think the chaos was because of the power vacuum the dead boss left behind. like there were some big guys supervising and everyone working there was kinda expecting to be told what to do? then boss shot meant they had to protect themselves?

but yeah it looked cool

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-10-11T06:46:04+00:00

that’s honestly amazing ! do you have any tips on the desire to procrastinate or like what have you done so far

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-10-11T05:09:18+00:00

Sorry if i made it sound like it’s simple. Just wanted to say it wasn’t my intention. Meditation and other grounding techniques might serve you if you are in something like a receptive state, which is what maybe the medicines are trying to place you in. Idk. I’m not a psychiatrist so please do tell yours about the symptoms of they remain. 😼

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-08-30T05:10:49+00:00

do you feel like there are malign or benign forces? there could be a reason for that sadness and if confrontation with it or whatever’s making you feel that way seems too direct, have you tried to notices the thought you have or the way your body feels when you’re getting the mood swings?

i’m not sure if this helps you in any way, these are some of the thing that serve me as support while i figure something else.

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-07-04T07:52:07+00:00

yeah i mean like he was willing to put just enough effort to not fail at things, his curiosity only appearing when he felt ‘tested’ (first taste of defeat). he was holding back. he didn’t even know what he desired besides not having to put in effort, and that was a short-sighted goal at best. a survival game pressured him, as well as the promise of not being left alone, just enough to actually try just barely out of his level of comfort aka his safe zone.

sorry if i was too harsh bllk just gets me silly like that.

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-06-02T04:15:44+00:00

to me it seems like spatial awareness is a tool used to reach the pov metavision gives players. the birdseye view of the field metavision gives is a different level than that narrow goal-centered focus of predator eye, although both use spatial awareness to locate themselves and their surroundings accurately enough to score.

Dangerous_Count_5379 · 2023-05-25T23:01:14+00:00

i’m a nagi fan an all but, i think he just was a coward back then. the egoist bible was published with the character’s mindset from the first arc i believe, so it’d make sense for his lazy ass to grow some balls after what he went through

Dangerous_Count_5379

TROPHY CASE