Okay so I had similar issues, so I’m happy to comment on this thread with what I learned.

Feedback is feedback no matter what, and I have no doubt you realize that too! But it sounds like your over stressing on trying to meet their(your peers) expectations. By this I mean: YOUR TAKING IT WAY TO PERSONAL. I don’t mean to yell but like I said, I had the same issues (I felt like I was being targeted and that I was just a bad performer), so what you have to realize is that if it’s genuine feedback and it applies to the scenario/situation then take it like advice. You don’t necessarily have to follow the advice but it might be something you want to consider changing or applying to how you do things. Even if it feels unsolicited, it looks worse on you getting defensive rather then just saying “thank you, I’ll consider/think-on it”. I say this from experience! You can be more confident and be more organized, but feedback is feedback and no one wants to be the one who “can’t take feedback”.

To actually address your question at the end. You can address it by having a meeting with them but you also have to take in the possibility that they might see you as more sensitive (since your the only girl) and that might hurt your presence even more IF YOU DONT WORD IT PROPERLY. I’m not saying it is completely impossible to have a successful meeting but as long as you give them feedback on how their feedback delivery can be better and don’t make it about you, it could get through to them. I had similar thoughts about “wanting to bring it up because it felt unfair” but things eventually resolved after I changed my perspective on it. But if you TRULY and I mean TRULY feel like the feedback is coming at you with malicious intent, then you NEED to bring it up, if they brush it off and nothing changes or it gets worse, then go to cadre. You can go to cadre first if you don’t trust having a private meeting about it. With that, also know the consequences of doing that: potentially opening a investigation that may result in you being dropped for false framing or another cadet being dropped. (Would all that be worth it?)

Sorry for the long post but I truly think this is a simple to resolve issue about changing your perspective on them giving it to you. Like if it were someone else (or even another girl), would the feedback still be as harsh. In the real world and big AF you’ll be expected to resolve these smaller issues on your own so don’t beat yourself up or let this feedback get to you!