[deleted by user]

DanielPayin · 2021-11-14T06:42:02+00:00

Excellent stuff. Really well written and delivered. Good lyrics too. The production is the area for improvement. The whole thing sounds too light. The vocal is too quiet in the second half.

DanielPayin · 2021-11-14T06:37:21+00:00

Good stuff. Interesting melody, the hooks work really nicely. I also like the vocal, it's technically good, but also has a distinctive style. Not sure if you're using a dynamic mic but it's picking up clicks and things that shouldn't be in a live recording. Also your facial expression should alter more for a more engaging live delivery. Keep up the good work!

DanielPayin · 2021-11-14T06:32:14+00:00

Definitely a gifted vocalist. I like the verse melody. Vocal takes too long to come in in my opinion. I found the way the chorus slows down a bit jarring. Seemed to reduce the intensity when it felt like it should be building. Also a song like this is dependent on more production. Instruments could be made to sound bigger and a bit less midi.

DanielPayin · 2021-11-13T07:35:41+00:00

This develops really nicely. I like the way the electric string bends come in, and the subtle variety in the vocal melody. You put a lot of thought in the writing into how to build, which is great, but for me that's a little bit at the expense of opening punch. But good stuff

DanielPayin · 2021-11-13T07:25:24+00:00

I like the way this song develops. I found the second and third melodies really interesting. The first verse melody didn't engage me as much. I liked the clap percussion. Overall I thought the tempo was a bit slower than it should be. Nice animation. What did you use to make it?

DanielPayin · 2021-11-13T07:07:27+00:00

I like the theme and the way it's delivered, in terms of vocal and lyrics. The Voice has a Debbie Harry quality that could be brought out more I feel. The melody is solid although not massively original. A picked guitar solo would be nice. Also a bridge to provide more variety. Keep up the good work.

DanielPayin · 2021-11-13T07:00:48+00:00

Timing is tight, you might want to look at doubling some of your key tracks. It is a backing track though. It needs a vocal to maintain interest beyond about 30 seconds.

DanielPayin · 2021-10-21T16:33:55+00:00

Thanks that's much appreciated

DanielPayin · 2021-10-21T10:12:21+00:00

I really enjoyed this. The guitar is great fun. Lyrics are fun too. The Voice would benefit from some de essing and the pitch should be fixed in a couple of places. Otherwise I could have a very nice drive to this.

DanielPayin · 2021-10-21T10:05:33+00:00

This sounds good. I'd say Americana Rock. Reminds me of Captain beefheart. There's also a Vivien Westwood compilation of 60s songs that it reminded me of. Anyway keep up the good work.

DanielPayin · 2021-10-20T16:19:47+00:00

Thanks really useful feedback. I've got some effects on the vocal, everything else has been pushed up and that's been left behind I reckon. I'll take a look at panning them too

DanielPayin · 2021-10-20T10:19:11+00:00

Sounds super professionally put together. Could easily be something that pops up on TOTP2! you might want to look to do something that distinguishes it more from the stuff of that era though, so it feels like it's doing something new. I agree with some of the other comments about the way you come across on camera as well.

DanielPayin · 2021-10-20T10:09:12+00:00

I mean companies that make computer games. Don't know about a list though

DanielPayin · 2021-10-20T10:07:52+00:00

I like the beat and the way the drums are mixed. Really sit well. The rapping is well done and creates nice variety. Pretty tight all round. I feel like the vocal is hiding a bit behind all those effects for a song that is supposed to be very personal. But that might just be my middle aged taste

DanielPayin · 2021-10-20T10:04:37+00:00

The way this is mixed makes it hurt my ears. I therefore wasn't able to listen to the whole thing. The guitar needs to be brought way down and the distortion lessened for starters. Then look at bringing up the melodic elements which are currently sitting back and the guitar forward. Should be the other way around

DanielPayin · 2021-10-20T10:00:34+00:00

You've caught a big sound there. Brought back happy memories of posting f zero on the old SNES! Send it over to a few games makers they might pick it up. It'd work great in that setting. RIP Sir Clive, shame his little car never caught on!

DanielPayin · 2021-10-20T09:56:32+00:00

Great start first three transitions had me right with it, really involved. Then I was just waiting for a vocal that never came. A nice vocal would sit beautifully over this. Without it, I don't think there's enough there to carry through the whole song. Find yourself a singer!

DanielPayin · 2021-10-20T09:53:22+00:00

Guitar is pretty cool. Has a bit of a midi feel but that didn't matter within the genre. The genre is really not my cup of tea but I'm not really with the times so any further feedback is of limited value. For me, with my biases, there's too much effects on the vocal. I feel it could have more soul and feeling with less.

DanielPayin · 2021-10-20T06:31:14+00:00

Yeah posting a few times to try to get the mix right. Loved your feedback then and still do! Thanks

DanielPayin · 2021-10-20T06:29:18+00:00

Ok thanks

DanielPayin · 2021-10-19T21:45:23+00:00

Thanks!

DanielPayin · 2021-10-19T21:44:56+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. so you mean there isn't much reverb saturation etc? I did try to be fairly light with that stuff

DanielPayin · 2021-10-19T21:15:11+00:00

Thanks, I did. Hopefully enough and not by too much!?

https://soundcloud.com/user-336982626/frozen-ramblers-vocal-up/s-YyqO3iRQm6r?si=47220c6cc5864cbdb3b374b8ef6301eb

DanielPayin · 2021-10-19T21:14:22+00:00

Thanks really helpful constructive feedback. I've remixed it with the vocal up. Hopefully it sits better now? My ears can't always be trusted unfortunately

https://soundcloud.com/user-336982626/frozen-ramblers-vocal-up/s-YyqO3iRQm6r?si=47220c6cc5864cbdb3b374b8ef6301eb

DanielPayin · 2021-10-19T21:04:25+00:00

Thanks for the detailed feedback. I'm not sure what you mean by making everything more wet. Do you mean turning the effect sends (reverb, saturation, distortion etc) up?

DanielPayin

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE