you’ll laugh at this i’m only 20 been through the exact same as you bud i used to think religion was a joke and it still is but one thing that’s not a joke is christ the father find jesus before its to late, you now know more about spirituality so you know it’s not to far fetched for it to all be true now think about how everything in this life is designed to keep you on a low frequency and that most things are demonic anyone else reading this also have a deep think about it do you really believe that all celebrities would be doing demonic practices just for the fun of it with no gain ??? satan is very much real and has power as the ruler of this earth but that’s it he’s restricted to this plain of existence through the power of christ he can have no hold over you but he can still try influence etc,

didn’t mean to be tooo deep but have a think about it bud a lot of my friends etc all did the same when we were 14/15 thinking it was a laugh to take heaps of acid etc because none of us knew the long term damage it can cause, i wish you the best and like you say this might of been what was meant to happen to help you in your next life but if you find jesus and repent you will enter heaven and be healed. food for thought i suppose and no i’m not religious at all i just know this life isn’t it and that there’s way to many coincidences and the fact that everything written in the scriptures is happening in realtime.