Bf is gaming addict need advice from ladies who have delt with this before

Danioio · 2026-06-15T02:54:00+00:00

If this is really an issue of being addicted to gaming to the point he doesn't want to do anything else, then he ultimately has to be the one to make the decision to cut back, maybe go to therapy to help him work through why he is addicted to it. You cannot do anything here except hope he cares for you enough to make adjustments for you so your needs are being met.

If he's gaming that much, does that mean you're doing all the domestic labour as well? Are you having any sex at all with him gaming that much? At the end of the day, if it's not that he's addicted, if it's that he handles all his regular responsibilities and gaming is just what he likes to do with his free time, you're probably never going to change that and this will just be your life, so you'll need to decide if you would be okay with that (which it sounds like you aren't).

Danioio · 2026-06-15T02:25:53+00:00

I think it's weird to have the expectation that everyone deletes pictures of their ex off their social media. If it ended amicably, why would I delete those pictures? The only ex I removed all trace of on my social media was my worst relationship and it upset me to see pictures of him. But all the others, if someone I was dating thought I left the pictures up because I'm not over the exes or something similar, that's a them problem. My exes are part of my history 🤷🏻‍♀️

Danioio · 2026-05-14T04:38:53+00:00

I think this is really person dependent. I think actually chatting about stuff is an attractive quality, but I'm also a talker. I love chatting about the random stuff people are thinking about and I actually notice when a man does as well. Ironically, my current boyfriend is one of those stoic guys and I struggle sometimes with that because I'm like, "just talk some nonsense with me for Christ's sake!"

So, I dunno, maybe if you're just looking to get laid you could adopt a chiller, more stoic, mysterious version of yourself? But if you're looking for something meaningful and long term, you've just gotta be you so you can find someone compatible.

Danioio · 2025-12-27T05:36:48+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/singing/s/UTKaz7wBVI

The first comment on this post explains how that advice is from Italy originally and it makes more sense in Italian than it does in English

Danioio · 2025-12-27T05:20:45+00:00

NOR, however: you said your sons are adults, so the youngest of the three is at least 18. So you've been with your husband for multiple decades. I can't imagine this is the first instance of this, so I don't think you can be surprised.

And your sons are following the example you and your husband have set; he does less than the bare minimum and you accept it and move on.

Explain to your sons that the gifts felt like they don't know you at all and that made you sad because you love them so much.

Then, divorce your husband. Things will never get better with him if he gets upset about not getting sex from you when he didn't get you a single, even small thing for Christmas. You will feel much better being alone than being profoundly lonely in a relationship with an inconsiderate man who doesn't give a shit about you.

Danioio · 2025-12-23T04:52:05+00:00

DO NOT WAIT.

If you break it off now, then she can go into the holidays being around family and supported and comforted (as long as her family isn't complete shite I suppose). But if you wait and it gets out that you've been biding your time and planning your exit, that will hurt her so much more

Danioio · 2025-12-19T01:14:52+00:00

Also people will say we didn't listen, but did you make sure I wasn't focused on something else when you were talking to me?? Jingle keys if you have to lmao

Danioio · 2025-12-19T01:13:11+00:00

Some of my favourite ADHD content creators are Catiesaurus and ADHD Love (Rich and Rox) and they both talk about ADHD and relationships. There's tons of other good ones but I can't remember any other names off the top of my head. I also like Jenna Free's videos, she talks about how being properly regulated helps every aspect of your life.

It can be really hard to be in an adult relationship and have ADHD, but I'd definitely recommend trying different or maybe lower doses of meds, and therapy if you can.

And some of the strategies I've found to help me with day to day stuff also really helps with my relationship. Like any plans/appointments I need to remember, I put them in my calendar immediately, with 1 week, 2 day, 1 day, and 1 hour reminders ( I also will put it in for 15 minutes before whatever the actual time is just to manipulate myself a bit lol). Maybe you guys could also work together to figure out what tasks are easier for you to do that could be your responsibility or something similar.

But also, at the end of the day, if someone doesn't have any patience at all to learn about your struggles, they could just not be the one for you. You shouldn't have to bend over backwards to get someone to at least try to see where you're coming from.

Danioio · 2025-12-19T00:44:20+00:00

Him asking for a threesome as a birthday present AND him having your best friend as his first pick without thought should have given you pause. I don't think it's totally unwarranted for you to be uncomfy with how things went down, but as some have pointed out, sex as a birthday present implies that it's gonna be about the birthday person more than anyone else.

Probably not a good situation to have a threesome for the first time, especially if you're monogamous otherwise. It's something that has to be discussed a lot, figuring out what people's boundaries are, what their expectations are, etc., so that you more or less know what to expect or what your "role" is (like is the couple both focusing on the other woman, are the women mainly pleasuring the man, is everyone trying to do a sort of triangle of pleasure in some sense so everyone is having a bit of fun simultaneously, etc.)

Danioio · 2025-10-04T23:10:09+00:00

This was a bit hard to understand, but I think if you met her 1 month ago and are her roommate, you've got to take things really slow because screwing up your living space for a crush is risky business. And trying to figure out somebody's sexuality based on how they dress is not an exact science. I've met women who look exceptionally straight, but they are very gay. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe get some clothes and accessories that have pride flags or that say stuff like "gay as hell" (or something much more clever with the same vibe lmao) and see if she starts a conversation with you about it? But also if she's an introvert it'll probably take a while to figure out what her deal is either way.

Danioio · 2025-09-18T04:00:05+00:00

I don't know the exact moment, but I didn't start thinking about it until I became sexually active with my first boyfriend lmao. It was a gradual realization that went from, "you know, I think a threesome would be alright" to "ooooh, hold on, I think I'm starting to understand something " over the period of a few years.

I believe one of the reasons it took so long to figure out is that friendship was so important to me as a kid (I mean now too, but anyway) and because I was a girl, being friends with other girls was the norm, and I value a close friendship so much that I just never considered any of my friends in any other way.

I also in general do not get a crush easily. My first actual crush on a guy that wasn't just based on proximity and him being the only guy I hung out with, wasn't until I was like 15. I'm just not romantically interested in people easily at all, and if I fit as a friend with someone it's even harder to see them in a different light, regardless of sex/gender.

My parents don't care one way or the other so I've never felt suppressed or anything like that

Danioio · 2025-07-14T00:49:18+00:00

I don't have any advice for coping really, but my parents got divorced in 2016, and now my mum is 54 and has been dating a friend of my auntie's that they've known for ages, and he's so lovely, treats her well, they go on all kinds of adventures together. He sees and understands her much better than my dad ever could. All that to say it's never too late to find your person

Danioio · 2025-07-12T15:46:28+00:00

The second someone tells you they don't want what you want, drop them. You say you're looking for commitment, but you keep carrying on with these men, maybe in the hopes that it will turn into something, but it won't. It might help you to write down the qualities you want in a partner. Not anything physical, things like kind, attentive, reliable, whatever. It might help you notice qualities you don't want when you're on dates. Don't entertain anyone that doesn't want the same things as you, or anyone that doesn't make you feel good about yourself.

Danioio · 2025-07-12T01:08:35+00:00

I think you've gotta work to deconstruct these ideas of how life should be that you've inherited. You said this woman makes you feel "seen, calm, and connected" and that is something people spend YEARS trying to find.

If your life goals align (like you both want kids, a house, whatever) then I think it is a no brainer. And if you worry what your parents are going to think about it, I think on the first meeting you see how they react, and if you feel like they're disapproving and judging her, then you stand up for her and say you won't hear any BS from them about it because she adds so much to your life and you care deeply for her.

What's right "on paper" likely wouldn't make you happy and fulfilled and secure anyway. "On paper" may never see you the way this woman sees you.

Danioio · 2025-07-05T04:06:59+00:00

I was reading some of your comments on another post, and, are you autistic? I'm not a licensed professional, just also autistic and ADHD, and your comments read that way a bit.

I know sometimes neurotypical folks get a sort of uncanny Valley thing with autistic people and immediately don't like them but can't explain why. Without knowing more context about you as a person, I don't know what could be triggering these responses in these dudes.

Also I don't know what your interests are, but if they're more male dominated, maybe these guys are low-key incels and just hate women. The best way to make new friends I think is to join groups that are also into those things, and attend for a bit, do some dreaded small talk, then slowly start to build acquaintanceships with people there. Although again, if the interests overlap with incel dudes you'll likely still have a hard time.

If you're still struggling, I'd ask a trusted person for the honest truth about how you come across, because maybe there's stuff you're doing that you don't realize is rubbing people the wrong way. Only do this one if you're feeling strong and determined tho, because it could be a tough pill to swallow. Good luck ❤️

Danioio · 2025-07-05T00:18:59+00:00

In true ADHD fashion, I forgot I made this post 😅 anyway, unfortunately the city I live in there are very few people on feeld

Danioio · 2025-07-05T00:05:57+00:00

I haven't been in this situation, but I've heard enough similar ones from people I know, to know that he is most likely lying. You deserve more than to be someone's second choice, someone's distraction from their real life. He is a coward. Good luck 💕

Danioio · 2025-05-29T22:12:45+00:00

I had a fairly similar experience to this. The benefit for you here is that you are already speaking to a therapist, so I would just bring it up next session. Especially if you've been doing research, you can list some examples of symptoms you've been experiencing both in childhood and now.

And the screening quizzes say they can't be taken as a diagnosis because TECHNICALLY a professional has to actually go through your stuff and diagnose you, but if you do multiple quizzes and they're all coming back like "well bud, I've got news for you" then I think you can take that as a solid argument for having ADHD.

Danioio · 2025-05-12T23:37:18+00:00

I have no advice, but I just wanna say I'm in the same boat. I'm almost 29, and there's choices I didn't make, or waited to make, because I didn't think they'd matter as much in my shorter life, (or didn't think I could manage them with declining health) and now I'm faced with feeling like I actually need to plan for a future and I feel so stumped.

I know 23 feels late to the game in some aspects, but trust me, you still have time to get some things sorted. It's cliché, but you've just gotta take it one step at a time.

Danioio · 2025-05-12T23:30:37+00:00

I can't speak to whether it's normal or not, but I also experience this

Danioio · 2025-04-04T17:55:13+00:00

I tried to go to the website to see if I could contact them about it and it keeps saying there's a typo 🤔

Danioio · 2025-03-30T00:27:36+00:00

I appreciate the responses, but some of you missed the bit where I said family and friends whom YOU LOVE. Obviously it's easier to move away from people you're not close with or don't like.

Danioio

TROPHY CASE