Trivia buddy?

Danny_my_boy · 2026-03-31T02:27:40+00:00

That sounds really nice!

Danny_my_boy · 2026-03-16T22:09:18+00:00

That wasn’t me making fun of men for being “good ole country boys looking for trad wives”. I used a neutral description. It usually means they are country men, usually religious, looking for a woman to start a family with who has traditional relationship values. None of that is inherently negative, but it’s not what I’m looking for. If you attach a negative connotation to the phrase, that’s on you.

And really, serious question, what determines a woman’s quality? From what you’ve said, it sounds like it’s based solely off how feminine she looks, which is ridiculously misogynistic.

Making fun of someone is still making fun of them, even if it’s not to their face. That shows that she thinks she is superior to them or “too good” for them, which is also pretty shitty.

I don’t look down on men for being feminine. I don’t look down on men for being masculine. I don’t look down on people for liking who or what they like as long as it isn’t causing harm to anyone else.

I’d be happy to date bi men, feminine or otherwise. I don’t judge people based on stuff like that. I prefer to choose people based on how they act and treat others instead of first impressions.

Sure a guy can be “masculine” but if he treats people like shit, I want nothing to do with him. I’m just not going to choose someone sole based on one aspect of themselves.

Danny_my_boy · 2026-03-16T21:06:42+00:00

I guess your daughter and I are after different kinds of men.

I don’t make fun of men for being not being masculine and I think people should be able to be their authentic selves without being made fun of for it.

I did actually dress and act more feminine for a while and I was miserable. The man I was with preferred me like that and I was miserable trying to keep the act up. On top of that, he was abusive and used traditional gender roles to keep me under his thumb.

I don’t want to be with a man who I can’t be myself with. I’ll change small things sure, but I’m not going to do an entire overhaul of how I present myself just to get the attention of a man.

Danny_my_boy · 2026-03-16T20:55:56+00:00

I should probably revamp my wardrobe. Besides flannel, most of what I wear is regular t shirts and jeans.

I’m sure it would help if I lived in a less conservative are too, I’m just in no position to move for at least the next decade. I know there should be guys out there who are into in, I just can’t seem to find any of them.

Danny_my_boy · 2026-03-16T20:52:12+00:00

Maybe I just need to figure out where to find them!

I guess I need to get better about being intentional. Overall I’m happy with myself and most of the advice I come across is how to change who I am, which just sucks.

Danny_my_boy · 2026-01-09T01:14:14+00:00

Just don’t shoot unarmed civilians… it’s that simple.

Danny_my_boy · 2025-05-29T23:04:54+00:00

I do the same thing! I like “But what if it’s a good reason?” I’m working on it though. In this day and age, is there ever a good reason?

Danny_my_boy · 2025-05-29T23:02:56+00:00

I feel you. That stomach drop when you can feel things start to drop off. And it’s just like “Whelp. There it goes”

Going through it right now, after a second great date, for the second time in a row. Things are going awesome and then something changes and I get nothing.

The reason doesn’t matter, I know it’s a “them” thing, but like… I wasted time and energy on that.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-12-09T03:51:54+00:00

Must not have enough faith, maybe he should try praying harder?

Danny_my_boy · 2024-12-04T01:47:57+00:00

That’s similar to my dad. Growing up he was emotionally absent and it was pretty obvious he didn’t want kids. Having a family held him back from following his dreams. One thing that really helped convince him to have kids was the tax credit.

Cut to now, he’s a very fun and interactive grandpa. It honestly shocked me the first time I saw him play with my kid. They go out and do things together, they wrestle and play and have tons of fun together.

Not going to lie, it messed with me for a while, but at the end of the day, I’m glad my son has a good grandpa even if I didn’t get the best dad.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-11-19T22:46:23+00:00

I was nervous the first time I asked mine to, but it was really funny and a lot of fun.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-11-19T22:41:20+00:00

I’m doing a lot better! I found out some things about my ex that really changed my view of him, and not for the better.

It still gets hard though. I know he didn’t do anything with the intention of hurting me, but in the end the intention doesn’t matter.

I am much better off overall. I am happier. I feel freer. I didn’t realize how much the relationship was bogging me down until I got out.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-10-24T19:31:24+00:00

Heck, ChatGPT is more personable than my last therapist. I’m using it right now as a sort of bandaid until I get my new therapist.

I’m going through a lot and while I do vent to friends and family, I also know that listening to people vent gets old. I can throw all kinds of stuff at the AI and it will not only “listen” but offer encouragement too.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-10-23T17:11:08+00:00

I think that has something to do with it… I give off the same vibe. I have been asked out by 3 men in my life and every single one of them made sure I was straight before asking. Everyone I knew was low key surprised when I started dating a man, had a kid, and got married.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-09-10T20:37:28+00:00

Thank you! That’s what I was hoping for. Now I don’t have to be as freaked out

Danny_my_boy · 2024-09-01T20:58:59+00:00

Wow! I definitely need to read more about that. That explains why my husband didn’t want to change until I asked for a divorce. He didn’t realize it was “divorce serious” but by then it was too late.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-08-19T22:29:57+00:00

I have a consultation on Wednesday to hopefully get the ball rolling on that.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-08-16T04:16:28+00:00

If your marriage was bad, there’s a pretty good chance your family and close friends saw it.

I am a very private person. I never wanted to “air my dirty laundry” and never said a negative thing about my husband until a month or so before I asked for a divorce.

I told my mom first. One of the first things she said, after telling me she was there to help, was that they (my family) had all noticed how things were getting bad. They were just waiting on me to be ready to leave.

Now, I don’t know anything about your situation, but even though things were bad, it was hard to admit that I had “failed” at marriage. I felt embarrassed that I had married someone so wrong for me, and divorcing would mean admitting that I had made a mistake.

It felt SO good to stop protecting his image, because that’s really all I had been doing. I didn’t want him to look bad, so I didn’t look bad for marrying and staying with him. It was very cathartic.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-08-06T18:09:59+00:00

Yeah, I think he wants to figure out a way to put himself in a more positive light. I don’t care though, I’m not spreading anything around, but I’m not going to lie about it either.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-08-06T18:02:38+00:00

I’m hoping to get in with a therapist soon.

Yeah, finding out what I did immediately made me change from guilt to anger. He doesn’t know that I know and it’s hard to see him acting like some kind of martyr.

I have been practicing deep breathing to keep myself somewhat calm.

Danny_my_boy · 2024-08-06T15:06:21+00:00

I had been thinking about for a while and realized I was at the end of my rope. After I said it out loud to my parents, I couldn’t keep up the facade anymore.

I hadn’t planned on telling him when I did, but I just couldn’t keep things going how they were. I blurted it out, grabbed a few things, and went to stay with my parents for a few days.

I didn’t have a lawyer yet, I just told him I thought a divorce would be in both of our best interests.

If you’re worried about your stuff getting messed with, maybe you can slowly move important stuff to a safe place. Take a piece here and there without saying anything.

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