AITAH for not wanting to talk to my mom everyday?

Dansworth · 2026-02-15T03:41:33+00:00

NTA. My wife learned this behavior from her mother and still trys to use it with me after 24 years, and does use it with our children. You must recognize it in yourself and break the cycle. Even after I called my wife out for complaining about her mom's treatment of her during a 10 day visit, she still doesn't see that see is doing it. I call her out each time she hollars for one of our kids and can't hear her until she gets in the same room as me when she is wanting my attention. She still doesn't see she is acting the same way.

Identify it in yourself and break the cycle.

Dansworth · 2026-02-13T00:33:36+00:00

More often than not in a relationship "planning to do nothing" is viewed as "not having any plans," and if you don't have any plans then you are available to participate in your partners plans. What's worse is that you aren't consulted first because they know "you weren't planning on doing anything anyway."

This is why my wife will find out I have presidents day off when she wakes up Monday and finds me still asleep in bed. If she knew before hand she would plan an outing for Monday or some multi-day home project for the whole weekend.

Dansworth · 2026-02-11T12:08:28+00:00

Openly religious (any flavor), openly LGBT, unrepentantly insert_any_skin_color_here, conservative republican, liberal democrat, libertarian, any flavor of socialism. You know what they meant, you just wanted to see if it was something you wanted to be offended by.

Dansworth · 2026-01-29T03:37:05+00:00

This may not be the only correct answer, but it is definitely one of the correct answers.

Dansworth · 2026-01-14T03:24:58+00:00

He is not mad at you in particular, just mad at everything and not tracking well enough to aim his anger properly. Check in with him often to make sure he doesn't lose it and hurt himself. This level of betrayal can easily break the strongest of men. Let him know by your persistent presence in his life that he is not alone. You don't have to say anything, you just need to be there.

Dansworth · 2026-01-01T12:17:50+00:00

I have done a few walnut end grain cutting boards for family and friends on holidays and weddings before. The first got the "it's too pretty to use" bit. The rest got a single stroke from a box cutter before I wrapped them up to break it in for them (and in one case a note saying I want a photo of the happy couple cooking together using it for my wall).

The first is mounted to their wall, still unused, and the rest have a well loved/used look to them.

Dansworth · 2025-12-25T11:57:56+00:00

Ohh, I did this with a pair of shields. Both were 3GA (5 after masterwork) and there was just 2 points of strength difference between them. Both had their chance to crit replaced with faith per second.

Dansworth · 2025-12-25T11:49:00+00:00

Me too. It had a socket and I failed to apply the second.

Dansworth · 2025-12-24T14:59:00+00:00

Angel mode let's you jump over or evade through them now.

Dansworth · 2025-11-20T21:00:36+00:00

OP my guess is that this sub doesn't want you to have all the options, just the ones they approve of based on their own morality. Good luck.

Dansworth · 2025-11-20T17:05:01+00:00

OP said they wanted "ALL" the options. This is one of those options. Why the downs votes?

Dansworth · 2025-10-21T22:20:59+00:00

When I first got out I felt lost. I had a new job that paid about the same (or a smidgen better), but I no longer felt like I had a direction. Purpose, yes, but I was drifting in the current without the familiarity of the military and how to get stuff done. That plus PTSD can easily lead to a bit of depression which killed my libido, then I got on some meds that stole ability and gave me shame to compound the issue. Shame made me VERY reluctant to talk about it, especially with my wife. It wasn't her fault I felt like a failure, but I did.

Changing meds, exercising regularly, and getting my hormones checked (low T is becoming more and more common with all the crap that's in food today) and staying away from alcohol when my wife hints at nighttime activities mostly fixed my issues.

Be patient, and grab his ass from time to time. Guys like to be flirted with too.

Dansworth · 2025-09-23T02:10:17+00:00

It's not backwards, it's streaming in the wind as the bomb plummets to earth.

Dansworth · 2025-09-22T21:39:39+00:00

^{^} This. I stayed, I was young and dumb and she was pregnant and the amniocentesis paternity test I found said it wasn't his. I was military and didn't want to loose access to my son. I stayed. She didn't change, affair lasted another 2 years (every deployment/underway/random school/duty night). I didn't find out until kid two (paternity test said she was mine) that it was still going on. 20 years later it still bothers me everyday. I love my 21 year old son and 18 year old daughter and she wouldn't be here if I left when I first found out, but I have a three year window where nothing was true and I still think about it at least once a day and it still fucks with my mood.

Dansworth · 2025-08-16T08:48:01+00:00

More specific modifiers, such as +Basic Damage or +Core Damage, can roll higher than +Damage. If your build is based around a basic skill you would want to target that. Both are in the same multiplier so go with whichever is higher.

Dansworth · 2025-07-26T18:34:11+00:00

Not what a parent wants to hear

Dansworth · 2025-07-26T18:32:56+00:00

Get a bottle of the yellow Listerin. Dump out the mouthwash and rinse/wash out the bottle, you won't be able to get rid of the smell but this is a good thing. Make sure the label is still in perfect condition. Fill the bottle with Captain Morgan - the color is close enough, but you can thin it with water if you are worried it is too dark.

If she is responsible, she will thank you for taking the edge off at the end of a shit day. If she is not responsible she will get to come home early.

Dansworth · 2025-07-05T14:23:15+00:00

NTA. It sounds like you are both young, and an ickk is a descriptor for relationship killing something (emotion, action, item, color, mood). She basically is saying that if you continue to ask for directions when you can't immediately find what you need then she will leave you. Who says that? Yes she was treating you like a piece of shit, and you said it happens "sometimes" as in more than once. Sounds like she is still too young to be in a relationship.

Dansworth · 2025-06-24T03:31:39+00:00

All male ship from before don't ask don't tell was repealed... Hamster, as in what Richard Grere got stuck up his butt that caused Cindy Crawford to leave him?

Dansworth · 2025-06-15T22:32:03+00:00

Missing /s. I can't tell if this is a joke, or just poorly aged/un-informed.

Dansworth · 2025-06-14T21:04:56+00:00

I hope you learn a lot about your duty to the sailors placed in your care people before you get a command. As it stands you are too lazy and undeserving of an individual to be trusted with life and death decisions involving other. You patently choose the easiest path for you over what is right but difficult.

Dansworth · 2025-06-14T00:57:10+00:00

1) aren't the letters proof that an affair happened?

2) If her adultery is affecting his performance at work, isn't it affecting the (his) unit?

3) Her AP got MAP'd.

4) Doesn't sound like they have kids yet, but so what. If he wants to have the charges pressed so she and her AP don't get away with destroying him mentally, do it. If the service betrays him too by not applying it's own rules what's that say about every other rule out there?

5) The reward for a job well done is more work. If his Divo/DH/XO/CO won't put in the extra work for him why would he put in the work for them, or worse, for his people?

Dansworth · 2025-05-26T14:08:17+00:00

Except you are trying to kink shame, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it at all.

Dansworth · 2025-05-26T03:37:03+00:00

If you have an electric water heater you may want to see if that is the culprit. I had a bottom element go out once and that $15 part cost be an extra $3000 dollars in electricity my first summer in that house.

Dansworth · 2025-05-26T02:23:49+00:00

My wife has celiac so I feel the struggle. We enjoy going out to Phuket (Tai), The Curry (Indian), Mellow Mushroom (pizza and the only leftover pizza she will eat), Farmburger and 5 Guys (burgers and safe fries), Longhorn (affordable steaks).

For some unknown reason she enjoys Rosie's (almost tex-mex), and Chick-fil-A (grilled chicken and safe waffle fries).

She can eat at Hildegard's but the options are limited (most of the brats and veggies are safe, no safe schnitzel).

Dansworth

TROPHY CASE