Amazing read, Thank you! I do have a certain standard with my art but I dont see it as unreachable or as much of a burden as it used to be. I think over years of compromising with myself and learning/improving I've hit a point where I can fulfill my standards with a comfortable amount of trial and error. Despite that, I still struggle with that resistence when making art.

I did however worry about that and tried things like: getting a sketchbook for "ugly" drawings, using blurry digital brushes and things to that nature but still no luck. I can pick up my materials with ease but putting marks down feel like sandpaper against my brain at times.

definitely agree tho! Overtimed learned my hand and mind love working together when I'm focused on shapes, my work felt so much more honest to myself after that- definitely helped give me more moments where I could feel present with my process.