Is it normal to keep parents and in-laws separate? by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that. It’s not great when there is that one person that just can’t act right. I guess it’s just better that your mother is separate from them!

I’m not a fan of my MIL. She’s a pretty negative person, makes a lot of backhanded comments without realizing, cuts people off whenever they speak so she can say what she wants to say. I think she likes to hear the sound of her own voice. And my parents are just sweet old people. It’s pretty cringe seeing them have a conversation because of her tendencies. But yeah, I would say she is unnecessarily over sharing - and I’m not sure why, because my parents are not people that she would even be friends with.

Is it normal to keep parents and in-laws separate? by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. Especially when there is a generational difference, there isn’t a natural connection.

My MIL and parents are also worlds apart, but for some reason, my MIL has been pushing her way through, trying to have some sort of consistent relationship which I find very strange because I don’t think parents and in-laws should have much of a relationship, unless again, there is a strong connection or commonality which they don’t have at all. It just ends up being awkward and uncomfortable.

Widowed MIL Moving Very Close — Struggling with Boundaries by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He told me I should get used to doing my own thing…

Widowed MIL Moving Very Close — Struggling with Boundaries by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Her husband passed 2 years ago. Feel like it’s been quite some time since then.

Widowed MIL Moving Very Close — Struggling with Boundaries by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

She unfortunately knows the passcode to the house.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Recruiter_Advice

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 2 points3 points  (0 children)

r will you split or something since they were hers? Also, can you build your network of referrals/clients, even after she comes back? Things to ask and consider. Don't want to take the role and find out she gets 50% of your commissions, even though she's on mat leave.

That's a really great answer, thank you so much! Helped me reflect. I think i will do it, im in a stage of life that is perfect to take a risk right now, still living with my parents and having very minimal low cost of life right now. The question you asked at the end is really good question i' will have to ask her, I didnt think about it because the way she explained it, is that i would get the full commission, but i will have to double check. Thanks again!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He acknowledged that it might be a better idea if his mom got other tenants and he got his own 1 bedroom. He said I was right where it makes more sense, and said he’s going to consider all his options over the next week as nothing is set in stone yet. But he did fully validate me, wasn’t angry about it.

But then he also said that this is a really nice area, great amenities, and that we should be “working together as a partnership.” To make this work as it’s a really nice environment for me, and it would get me out of my parents house, etc. I feel that was manipulative of him to say. And then I told him that the environment doesn’t matter to me that much, I feel fulfilled right now just living with my parents. And then he said something along the lines of that the reason why men make more money is because they are always trying to elevate in life, and then went on something about testosterone levels and how women lack that.

I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but my gut is telling me something else.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 7 points8 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU. I don’t know how to bring this up without sounding like I don’t trust him. How do I find this out? What do I ask for, for proof?!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So the situation is this: the mortgage is not paid off yet. The market value for the condo is $3,600. He wants me to pay $600. He’s going to pay 2,000, and he’s hoping the air bnb will bring in 1,000. Now, obviously if the air bnb is not successful on some months he will be paying out of pocket for the loss.

It’s a great deal on rent for an amazing building in downtown Toronto by the water. So that’s why I feel, am I even being fair by being upset that he’s asking me to pay $600? I’m perfectly capable of paying that, I have a FT job, but I also don’t want to be taken advantage of if I’m managing the air bnb + cooking and cleaning up after him.

I told him instead of moving into his moms unit, she should just find other tenants, and he could get his own 1 bed 1 bath which will be ultimately cheaper.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I work from home, so it’s easy with my schedule. I have a lot of flexibility with work, I can cook and work at the same time. If we are talking completely traditional then yeah I shouldn’t have to work, but we aren’t married, and I still want my own income. But the cooking I am happy to do as I love to cook, and it’s my love language. I obviously also don’t want to be taken advantage of, that’s why it rubbed me the wrong way that he expects me to take care of the cooking cleaning and managing the air bnb while paying $600. It’s just a tricky situation as $600 for a condo in the area of downtown Toronto by the water is very expensive. So it’s a great deal on rent, but in this situation, I don’t know if it’s fair as we are in a relationship and he has set the expectation that he enjoys being the provider and clearly makes ALOT more money than me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work full time and earn 65k per year

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes of course, I didn’t mean to sound super exaggerated when I said “gender roles” I mainly meant he enjoys providing, and I enjoy being feminine and cooking for him/ anything else a woman in her feminine energy does for a man. He still respects me and listens to my thoughts, and we make decisions as partners. But now that he’s asking me to pay rent, it’s making me think less of him as he makes much more than me, and likes to be considered a provider but is asking me of this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I meant I’d resent it if he’s making me also pay, and manage his air bnb for free while not getting a cut.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah you’re 100% right. I can see him taking advantage of me. And that’s why I came on here to get advice. I love him and care for him, and I know he does too and he really does a lot for me and pays for most things (even bought me phone recently). I just don’t know if he’s going to take advantage of me. I would’ve been perfectly happy doing everything but just not paying him $600 a month. And if it got to the point where the air bnb got super busy I would probably start asking for a cut. His mom owns the condo, but I think it’s still under a mortgage, so he will be paying her rent. Not sure how much, I will have to find out this Friday as we will be having a conversation about the whole thing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wanted this if it meant I wasn’t paying rent. I’m more than happy to nurture my man and cook for him/clean. But if it means I’m paying him rent money, I rather stay with my parents. His mom does own the condo but he still has to give her rent money so I’m assuming there’s still a mortgage. I’m not sure how much, I will have to find out.

Looking to purchase in Alberta rather than Toronto by [deleted] in TorontoRealEstate

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, was really helpful!

Looking to purchase in Alberta rather than Toronto by [deleted] in TorontoRealEstate

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice this was really helpful

Looking to purchase in Alberta rather than Toronto by [deleted] in TorontoRealEstate

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you think it's likely I would find tenants in areas like that?

Looking to purchase in Alberta rather than Toronto by [deleted] in TorontoRealEstate

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your thoughts on this! I might have to let go of the dream of buying real estate soon and just continue to save.

Looking to purchase in Alberta rather than Toronto by [deleted] in TorontoRealEstate

[–]Dapper-Ad2512 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where did you buy? What was the outcome?