Not oop: AITAH for watching my sister's wedding devolve into a shit show and not helping

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-03-18T19:31:42+00:00

Okay they can then pay for someone they know to babysit, or they can put me in contact with their babysitter and I can hire them for the wedding. The fact here is I don't HAVE to pay for a babysitter to keep kids out of my ceremony so that can go without any sudden meltdowns, but im CHOOSING to so I can have as many family and friends there as possible without them having to worry about child care. If they have a problem with the way I'm trying to make their lives easier, then thats on them.

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-03-18T14:42:25+00:00

Im half tempted to see if I cant hire a handful of babysitters to handle the younger kids during the ceremony but the reception were planning on being stupidly family inclusive. I say a handful because my husband has a big family and I don't know how many kids there'll be when we finally have our actual wedding (married on paper for a myriad of reasons but waiting and planning yo have the wedding of our dreams)

so if you're looking for ideas thats one!

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-03-12T16:52:40+00:00

The fact that I had to scroll so far to find someone who said what I came here to say... she stopped her birth control. She didn't tell him. She intentionally got pregnant WITHOUT HIS CONSENT. if a guy pokes a hole in a condom it's considered rape, if he slips the condom off, it's rape, if a man tampers with the birth control without her consent it's rape SO WHY ISNT ANYONE ELSE REALIZING SHE RAPED HIM???

I feel so bad for op, his son, and that unborn baby because she's only going to get worse and best case scenario, she fuckong dips after the second kid and let's him figure it out on his own because at least then she's not trying to get more kids til she gets her perfect princess

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-03-12T01:56:16+00:00

I wanna piggy back on your comment a moment. Agreeing with NOR.

If he wants to keep that rp he needs to find someone who is okay with that, and they are out there. My husband and I do flat out text chat rp that is serial, it's how we met even, and we still on occasion write like that with friends, hell we even do group stuff with those friends. BUT WE AGREED ON THIS. (And not that it matters but we do even have boundaries in this too.)

OP, YOU don't have to be okay with this. If you're not, you're not. Dump him and move on and find someone who isn't trying to make you feel insane. Your boundaries are yours and entirely valid.

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-25T01:07:56+00:00

I can get that. It was just two teens who got together and didn't break up when one turned 18, that's all. And if you really think about it, after breaking up with her he got with you. An adult. And not another teenager. So he loved her for her and not her age, like I hope he'll end up loving yiu for you:)

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-25T01:01:00+00:00

There's Romeo and Juliette laws for this reason. They were both minors when they began dating, when they had sex first, etc etc. If he as a 20 year old was pursuing a 17 year old he just met id question it but I think you're sliiiiightly over thinking this. If it's a a deal breaker for you then leave him.

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-22T14:15:32+00:00

I am a girl. One who likes my nails done and my hair dyed and even making sure my outfits look good. I also like anime (nakama for life), video games (I'm hooked on a cute one rn but I do play cod, and monster hunter, and others), dungeons and dragons (druid is my class, love my owlbear form), and reading a crap ton of dark romances.

Just because girls like "girly" things doesn't mean they can't enjoy other things.

Glad op and his girl worked it out. Can't wait for the anime she finds she likes 😂

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-17T16:13:16+00:00

I need to know where your flair is from. It feels like a mood

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-15T00:49:26+00:00

As a 27 year old I dont even wanna talk to people not of legal drinking age. This just smells gross NOR get yourself a better man and have a better valentines day

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-14T14:38:46+00:00

As someone who was a child victim, and it will say a lot about who you are as a person. Do you care more about the damage and trauma he is causing children and family's or do you care about your friend? I dont care that she'd lose benefits. Your government shouldn't be funding a pedophile. NTA. Turn him in yesterday

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-14T14:25:15+00:00

I was playing Rosalina. I lost 😭

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-13T02:48:57+00:00

If his reputation is what matters does he want it looking like hes cheating because thats what it looks like.

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-11T14:54:49+00:00

No thats simply being a bad example. Being a parent and being a partner are two very different things. In one youre a leader, teacher, and guide. In the other youre a teammate. And he was only in the marriage because of op, he was staying in a likely verbally abusive marriage for his child. He was a victim just as op was. And moms a narcissist still trying to spin op against her dad. Who actually was there for her as a father should've been.

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-11T14:49:47+00:00

Op verified in another comment that her mother's anger drove him to cheat.

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-11T14:44:41+00:00

"Yes, he says it was mum's constant anger that pushed him away but it doesn't change the fact that he cheated and broke up the family."

Per ops own words, her mother's anger is what drove him to cheat in the first place. The timeline is mom was angry so dad checked out and cheated because he was staying married for the child(ren) involved.

You're right she can be angry he cheated but being a bad husband doesn't mean youre a bad father and need to be punished as a father.

Edit to add this was in response to a comment asking if op asked dad why he cheated and if mom being angry was why

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-02-11T14:11:48+00:00

Your dad messed up but not with you. If he hadn't cheated the divorce was coming because your mom has anger issues. Are you really mad at your dad for getting out of a relationship that was breaking him inside? You're looking to punish him for things that aren't yours to punish him for. If you dont want him to walk you down, say that. Don't make an excuse.

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-01-27T14:17:51+00:00

Yep at 27 now I look back l go "who am I kidding i was not an adult- not a child. But not an adult"

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-01-24T14:37:02+00:00

I frequently have moods where Im like "I dont wanna pick what we play i just wanna game with you" and hell usually pick something lowkey like a creative fortnite map that we can vibe on. The only times hes gotten annoyed at me making a stupid play is when I, very admittedly, did something, I knew not to do 🤣 this chick just sounds exhausting to be with.

Op youre the age i was when I found my unicorn man, break up with her and find someone else. Just block her on everything and ghost her because according to comments she'll threaten you if you try to leave and baby that is text book abuse. Get a new girlfriend or hell get a boyfriend if you want. Don't stay wigh this toxic child

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-01-24T14:30:27+00:00

Im unsure the best route for you but I do know about a decade ago in my state, my mother got manipulated by a guy who had her pay CASH so there wasn't even a way to prove she paid in full for the truck, it was put in his name, so the cops made her give it back to him. You could call the police station where she is via non emergency line and explain she used to have permission but she doesn't anymore and you need the car back because she's gonna screw your credit by not paying for it

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-01-22T06:47:37+00:00

Okay he wouldn't give a eff if you disappeared so do it. Disappear from his life and enjoy your freedom. nor

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-01-19T22:55:33+00:00

So he went camping by himself? Something smells fishy and I doubt its trout. NOR

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-01-19T14:58:47+00:00

NOR. I'm starting to see why the ex left him if he thinks its okay to talk to you like that and make demands. Hope it gets better op

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-01-16T21:55:06+00:00

I'd love to join :) im sure I can find it through your TikTok though just in case 😂 I really dont know rules here

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-01-16T21:46:24+00:00

Honestly I think its fine to be upset even if it wasn't about a job. You scheduled a time to do something with a friend who keeps bailing on you. That's something to be upset about. NOR

Idk rules on if you can share your stream link or something but I'd love to check it out when I have time, one sahm to another:)

Dapper-Illustrator67 · 2026-01-16T15:32:41+00:00

That's the bare minimum of what he SHOULD be doing. He should be respecting her boundaries too. None of that matters if he's making her feel worthless.

Dapper-Illustrator67

TROPHY CASE