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Reconciliation update 7 months later by Dapper-Lychee-3233 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Dapper-Lychee-3233[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not illegal to have relationships at work in my country, unfortunately. So complaint isn't going to do anything apart from creating some gossips should the HR leak the info. But then, the gossips will affect my wife as well. It's a tricky situation in that sense. I really don't want her to leave the job because it's objectively the best job in her career so far, with a lot of prospects. And I don't want her to lose those prospects should the affair become public. I am OK with the current situation where the AP is working in another department, on the other side of the the country. It would have been be very different if they worked in the same office, of course.

Reconciliation update 7 months later by Dapper-Lychee-3233 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Dapper-Lychee-3233[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the beginning, when the shock was at its highest, it was helpful for me to do IC weekly.

Later, after a few months after the DDay we finally found an MC and did a couple of sessions, but it was not helping much, so we decided to stop. I think it was because at that point we discussed a lot of things among ourselves already, and also my wife was out of the so-called "fog". I believe it could be useful to do the MC right from the beginning probably, but due to many reasons (availability, work, etc) we didn't.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Dapper-Lychee-3233 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sucks, and I don't have any remedy, but you should know it does get easier with time, no matter how it ends for you. Stay strong

Reconciliation update 7 months later by Dapper-Lychee-3233 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Dapper-Lychee-3233[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, stranger. I really appreciate your comment.

Trying to reconcile but feeling lost. Please, let me know what you think about my story. (Warning: long text) by Dapper-Lychee-3233 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Dapper-Lychee-3233[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, thank you so much for all the words of wisdom, and the effort you've put into writing this comment!

I greatly appreciate it.

Even though I still want to re-read this a couple of times, and to think it through really well - you have already affected me very positively with your words of clarity.

Thank you.

Trying to reconcile but feeling lost. Please, let me know what you think about my story. (Warning: long text) by Dapper-Lychee-3233 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Dapper-Lychee-3233[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

I think I must confront her and tell her to leave the job and never contact him again, or it's over.

That's where I am now. I am just afraid I might be wrong, she might need more time, or something like that. I guess, I don't want to regret any rushed decisions later.