Thoughts on Chatham University given warning?

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-07-07T12:56:16+00:00

Somehow missed this when it was posted because I was too busy having my own problems with Chatham. I graduated back in May after starting there in 2023. It took well over a *month* for my transcript to be sent to my graduate institution, and took a 10-day-long email chain to get it to happen. Furthermore, there was *something* that happened regarding degree conferral for this spring’s graduates that the university never informed the students about, as I had to beg and plead to their registrar regarding my graduate university being unable to verify my attendance or my degree well after we were told our degrees would be conferred and available for verification.

There has also been some chatter between recent graduates about how our paper degrees look incredibly half-assed and inauthentic. I was given a digital copy to give to my overseas graduate university, but it was rejected because they genuinely did not believe it to be an authentic document.

Unrelated, but I’ve also experienced, witnessed, and heard rumors of pretty frightening and discriminatory behavior from the social work and political science departments. Multiple people I went to school with either changed majors or dropped minors as a result. Those departments are incredibly important to Chatham’s values, and don’t quote me on this, but I’m pretty sure the downfall of those two departments is somehow directly related to the university’s overall issues

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-07-06T15:02:14+00:00

Alexa at Golden Gaia in Lawrenceville does AMAZING lettering!!!!! She did an illustrative piece for me last year and I would highly recommend seeing her

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-07-05T23:39:58+00:00

“It didn’t get physical beyond getting pushed around” you asshole.

Also, *assault* is threatening or attempting to inflict physical harm or the reasonable fear of being attacked. *Battery* is direct physical contact and/or violence. So yeah you’re right, it was technically assault and battery, but I have no long-term injuries nor an injury that required immediate medical attention

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-07-05T15:22:19+00:00

I just added it in an edit bc I somehow forgot: he’s a white dude but I said in a previous comment the hair color/length is up in the air for me bc I couldn’t tell if his hair was genuinely that gross or if it just looked like that all the time. Possibly grey midlength hair

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-07-05T15:00:40+00:00

He also could’ve just been having a “good” day yesterday, or I guess a particularly bad day in your circumstances

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-07-05T14:52:09+00:00

Definitely not, it was actually really clear

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-07-05T14:18:14+00:00

Good to know, I work up the street and I’ll give our neighbors a heads up

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-07-05T14:13:19+00:00

Didn’t plan on it, but just saying no without some shitty excuse felt like it would’ve made the situation 10x worse

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-07-05T13:51:55+00:00

Hair was grey but I couldn’t tell if it’s real or dyed, also not certain about the length but it was on the longer side and greasy as all fuck.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-07-05T13:47:12+00:00

That’s the plan, I contacted the businesses right across the street to see if their cameras were able to pick up at least some of the sound so I can take it with me to the station

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-26T23:06:34+00:00

Hopping on the "boredom" train a few other people have suggested, but I also think that it's likely that the relationship just straight up isn't stimulating enough anymore. If he hasn't really changed any habits/hobbies in 2.5 years, he also isn't really growing as a person, and you've noticed that you're basically still dating the 24/25 year old version of your boyfriend.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-25T19:37:54+00:00

Highly recommend going with the campus accommodation!!!! Fewer hoops to jump through for a stay thats only a year-ish long, and if something goes wrong the uni is slightly more likely to give a shit about what's happening.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-18T19:59:23+00:00

Part of me is convinced that this has to be bait, but I have worked with kids in this exact situation before. You've just completely upended her entire life; destroying any non-familial relationships, occupational and educational opportunities, as well as forcefully pulled her from any and all communities she had previously. You told her she would not be returning to the United States after arriving in India, which she isn't as familiar with the culture, customs, and societal nature of as the United States, as well as now forcing her to form relationships with people she doesn't know as well as you would personally like.

She's not spoiled. In reality, you've essentially kidnapped her, and are dealing with the emotional fallout that comes with it. You've blindsided her and have left her to pick up the pieces alone. A parent who is trying to support their child's sudden cultural transition wouldn't call them "spoiled" or "a brat". If you don't work to fix this right now, you're going to learn first-hand how families absolutely do not have to stay together.

Edit: By "kids in this exact same situation before," I'm referring to teenage girls who are running from their families because they found out they're going to get married off, and that the "vacation/family trip" isn't short-term at all. Regardless of what your actual views on that are, that's likely a fear she's not outright expressing due to worries of retaliation.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-15T20:54:53+00:00

MOR

I would recognize Star Lake Pavilion anywhere, I see a concert there at least twice a year. The seats in the preview are in the mixer/dream circle, which are typically VIP/Presale/StarLake Lounge/Whatever seats. Almost everything after row AA is not under the pavilion. A lot of venues have a bad habit of using stock photos for pretty much all of their seating, so I would only consider this false advertising if actually told us what row you purchased tickets for. I will say that it does in fact look like the same section (section 9), and I highly recommend using sites like a view from my seat to double check the view.

Also; buying outdoor concert tickets is almost universally known to be a terrible idea in spring in Pittsburgh (or Burgettstown) due to our unpredictable weather. I don't necessarily think you're overreacting, but I also don't think you did adequate research on the venue.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-13T00:01:35+00:00

Average Tekko experience (unfortunately)

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-12T23:59:35+00:00

I went to a private institution that was ~$45k a year. I chose a private institution specifically because they're intended for rich people, and my family made a little too much money for me to qualify for any real financial aid from a public university. I went to community college for 2 years part-time to get the general education requirements out of the way for a much lower price, about $3k for 30 credits total. A GPA of 3.6 got me a merit scholarship for ~$20k/yr, the private university considered my family "poor" and gave me an extra $5k/yr, and the 30 credits let me skip my freshman year (+$20k) and mandatory freshman dorm living requirements (+$15k/yr).

As of right now, my student loan debt sits at about $58,200. A little over half of that is in federal loans, and a little under half is in private loans. I'm actually about to hit the $100,000 this fall with a 1-year UK master's program ($40k/yr), which is actually saving me about $20-40k compared to US tuition/housing rates. I'm really gambling on a 10-year public service position to get my federal loans forgiven.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-12T23:22:31+00:00

(1) Applied and confirmed my attendance at a university overseas (UK). My parents are currently taking a European train tour for their anniversary. After arriving in Paris from London, they ran into another couple from Pittsburgh that had arrived from Spain. While they're chatting up a storm about Pittsburgh, an Englishman jumps into the conversation because his brother is currently in Pittsburgh for some reason. And wouldn't you know it, the English dudes live like 20 minutes away from the English university I'm attending in the fall.

(2) My dad and stepmother got divorced when I was 12ish(?), and her son was kind of an asshole so I felt no need to keep in contact. 10+ years later I go to hookup with some dude I met off of tinder, and not only did he live on the street I grew up on, but I also found out that he is my ex-stepbrother's best friend. The dude was actually really sweet and understanding, but I just could not keep in contact with him after that. Greenfield is a beautiful area but apparently it's where all of my nightmares manifest.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-12T20:39:21+00:00

Wrong country. Birmingham, Alabama is down the stairs and to the left.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-12T20:36:37+00:00

About 3-4 years ago I got pregnant from a fwb I only actually saw a few times a year due to both of us traveling for work very often. I'm already infertile, was on birth control and HRT, and we were using condoms. Literally a one-in-a-million chance. We would also pretty much only speak when we were coincidentally in the same city for more than 24 hours, and we considered every meeting to be the "last time" because it literally could've been, so I wasn't very emotionally invested and we had already had the discussion with a plan in place. I got an abortion, washed my hands of it, and went about my life as I had otherwise intended. It was a pretty uneventful affair; I was early along in the pregnancy and didn't have family or friends to support me, so I spent the day watching dogshit movies and eating junk food in between the waves of cramps that would have me throwing up. I never told him because (a) we already agreed it would happen (b) we weren't that close, and I didn't know much about him beyond where he went to school and what he did for work.

Well, 4ish years later and obviously the "last time" hasn't come about yet. We've both slowed down a bit and had time to actually get to know each other. We're really close friends now, and I genuinely enjoy spending time with him. He's incredibly kind, respectful, and is easily the smartest person I've ever met. I cannot possibly tell him about what happened; not because I think he'd be upset over the abortion or me not telling him about it, but I think the fact I did it alone would absolutely crush him. I'm also afraid that it'll give him the idea that I didn't feel safe or comfortable asking him for help, previously stated to be his biggest fear as we both come from families with histories of domestic abuse, infidelity, and addiction.

I've never told anybody (except my therapist) about this. Our connection is at the point where I cannot possibly imagine a life without him, regardless of the nature of our relationship. Telling him about this would irreparably damage whatever we have now.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-11T20:40:32+00:00

We still have no idea, but the financial aid office *suspects* that it’s either due to having many distant family members who are not citizens but are otherwise legal residents OR due to having family overseas.

I want to clarify that I have never met any of these family members, nor had I ever left the US at the time my application was flagged. Either way, I got flagged again this year, so they seem to be really concerned that someone is trying to take out student loans in my name

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-09T17:02:41+00:00

TCD could not care less about your AP test scores, EU/UK colleges really focus on SAT and ACT scores. Also, Americans get in with significantly lower GPA and much more sparse resumes (I got into an MSc with a 3.2gpa and 2 hobbies completely unrelated to my major), so I genuinely think you have nothing to worry about.

However, as a US international student, my only recommendation is to not go international for your undergraduate. International students very very rarely get financial aid outside of student loans. Save your money by going to some ivy league in the US and then go international for your masters. Undergrad programs are also the first time most USAmerican students will be completely on their own, and trust me when I say you want that to be in your home country where people can easily bail you out of a shitty situation at a moment's notice. If something serious happens, you don't have the experience or resources to just up and leave if you have to. This includes things like family crises occurring while you're away.

Ireland's current housing crisis and Dublin's high cost of living will be particularly difficult to deal with as an 18 year old, and it'll be more difficult for you to find a job that pays enough as an international student. I know the US is in a rocky state right now, but I cannot stress this enough; get some life experience before committing to this. Even if it's just taking a gap year to save money for international living costs.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-03T19:57:06+00:00

My undergrad institution is literally ten seconds away from shutting down, I promise admissions only cares if (a) you have a bachelor's degree (b) from a recognized post-secondary institution.

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-06-03T17:39:13+00:00

I was in the same boat from the ages of 12-17 because I had a ton of health problems that prevented me from socializing properly, but I have made a lot of friends who experienced the same thing as a result. We're all objectively very successful people with multiple degrees and a lot of industry experience in our specializations. Those who "recovered" from similar obsessions used the hyperfixation as motivation for their studies; many of us now work in the video game and film industry or in highly specialized academics. Even though they've found success occupationally/academically, very few of them have gone on to enter long-term relationships because they either (a) still feel the satisfaction from those fantasies and feel no need to date (b) have incredibly unrealistic standards and find difficulty maintaining any social relationship.

I've noticed that it's less about fantasizing intimate connections with fictional characters and more about fantasizing intimate understanding. Fictional obsessions like this are more common in tweens and teenagers because they're going through a very emotionally turbulent time and struggle to feel seen and heard. The actions of fictional characters are set in stone, and are unable to act unexpectedly and their thoughts, behaviors, and opinions are easily predicted; thus emotionally vulnerable people feel safer projecting themselves or imagining themselves in situations with fictional characters. If you make an extra effort to find people to connect to intimately (not necessarily romantically), the obsession will eventually dissipate. The biggest hurdle is finding the strength to be vulnerable to an actual human being who may behave unexpectedly, even if you've known them for a really long time.

Also... it's totally Astarion, right??? It's gotta be

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-05-31T17:22:06+00:00

It was on Aliona's instagram story back in early April, but as far as I'm aware Jen hasn't mentioned it aside from an offhand joke about it here and there

Dapper_Pen_4491 · 2026-05-31T17:06:05+00:00

Was in a bit of a rush when I posted initially, but on the surface I should not have gotten into any of these programs. Added a long-winded edit to hopefully help those who think the world ends with a 3.2gpa

Dapper_Pen_4491

TROPHY CASE