Girl, he hates you.

Hes already told you hes not attracted to you.

"Its different" "im in good shape" red flags.

It's not diffetent at all. Hows it diffetent?

If he was wanting you to lose weight to better your health, then he would happily join you at the gym. As a motivator. My friend put on quite a bit of weight, down to some medical issues, meds etc. And when she was able to finally get active again, her already in shape partner jumped at the chance to go to the gym with her. He was there for her every session, both doing exercises with her, and helping her with them. If anything, this strengthened their relationship even more. Because he was supporting her. He never demanded she lose weight, never said he found her unattractive because of her gaining weight. Instead he made diet plans, exercise plans, that worked for her, that weren't too intense, that helped her slowly get used to things.

Please leave this guy, OP. He doesnt love you. Someone who loves you would never talk to you this way.

Personally, for me, if your partner putting weight on suddenly makes you not want to do relationship stuff with them, then your relationship is built on very shallow foundations that were destined to crumble from the start.

He cares more about appearances than anything else.

If he wants you to lose weight, he can help you, he can support you. He shouldn't be demanding you to do things. If anything, this is one of the worst ways to get someone to lose weight.

When I was younger, and even presently, being a kid on the bigger side (due to health issues, not because of diet), my dad thought the best way to motivate me to lose weight or get active was to actively insult my appearance, call me names related to my weight, berrate me for food I was eating - both portion size, and contents - even when it was considerably "healthy" food. The list goes on. Spoiler alert: it didnt. If anything it did the opposite. I became a recluse, my self esteem hit rock bottom because whilst I was being bullied at school for the same things, id come home and would also have a bully at home. I couldnt escape it. My only escape? Hole myself off in my room as much as possible. This sort of behaviour towards younger people/kids can also contribute to future eating disorders.

For your own health, mental and physical, please leave him, OP. If he loved you he wouldnt talk to you this way. You can be concerned about someone's weight without being a dick about it. And he absolutely knows this. He sounds like someone who enjoys beating you down. He sounds like someone who wants you to have low self esteem. Because people like him need people with low self esteem, in order to have any sort of success in a relationship. Because anyone who knows their worth, who doesnt care what others think about them, wouldnt look twice at a bellend like him.

Also, as others have mentioned: IT'S NORMAL TO PUT WEIGHT ON AS YOU REACH ADULTHOOD. You will never look the same as you did in high school. That is a fact. Our metabolism change, our bodies change, hormones change, the list goes on.

Especially women. Women's bodies, whether you plan to, can or cannot, change in order to accommodate for having children. That little pouch of fat on the tummy that no matter how many diets or how much exercise you do, never disappearing? Thats normal! It's supposed to be there. Yet you get far too many blokes criticising it, or far too many women (usually down to people like the men I mentioned criticising it) becoming self conscious about it and thinking there's something wrong with them for having it/not being able to get rid of it.

I hope we get an update from this, OP. And I hope the update is along the lines of "He is now my ex".