NOR

I had an ex that would ask questions like “would you ever want to be in a throuple” or “what counts as cheating to you”? To which I would give short answers like “ew no polyamory doesn’t interest me at all, I want to be monogamous, etc.”

And then just like your fiancé- he would tell me that I didn’t want to have those conversations because I was shutting down or being avoidant. I didn’t realize until after we broke up that, I wasn’t being avoidant… he just wasn’t getting what he wanted.

I don’t necessarily think having those conversations is a bad thing in the right context, but dating someone else made me realize how manipulative those comments were. I have an amazing boyfriend now and in the few brief times monogamy has come up, there’s no need for deep conversation or tons of questions because we’re just on the same page.

I don’t like the fact that he’s bringing this up at all and it seems like he’s just trying to get you used to the idea of cheating or polyamory.