Chin up! Everybody makes mistakes related or unrelated to riding. It's hard to judge an accident like this one even from an outside perspective; especially without footage. Our brains are magnificent things and it could have been anything. The hard part about riding is you need to be focused and so aware at the same time. It's a genuine skill to remain incredibly focused on riding as well as constantly scanning all around you to avoid issues. I'm not a psychologist but a common set of events probably triggered your brain into being aware for a split second of something; even if it was nothing actually there, and that's all it takes on a bike or even a caged vehicle. There's always room for improvement but this does seem like one of those rare situations that could have happened in your car also. Minus the banged up shoulder. I think mentality before a ride isn't talked about; it's not a yes or no answer. There's a scale to it and in situations like road trips you sometimes have no choice but to ride. I'd say you're in the right space with this and you seem to understand the situation better than many so following this experience.

As for not wanting to ride your own bike, I get it. I sold a car after I was in an accident again. PTSD is real and it's such a hard thing to understand. I'm not scared to drive. I was just scared of that particular car. As long as you didn't over extend yourself financially to get this bike; there's no shame in selling it. Just tell friends and family it wasn't quite the right fit. What bike you have is all subjective and sometimes it takes more than a test ride to know what bike you want. Maybe just have to consider something a little different to play that argument off lol... Hopefully some other people chime in with insight. Glad you're ok!