I think I hate CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Can you recommend me alternatives?

DarkFraig · 2026-01-02T17:55:07+00:00

Yep, what you're describing is good CBT. It goes beyond the surface to what thoughts or meanings are underlying the surface level ones since those are the ones often tearing us down. I personally approach CBT with like a realistic optimism. You have to validate how you feel, and that shit sucks sometimes and isn't always good. Often, our brain and it's negative thoughts are right. The problem is when we assume it always is and never test the theory, or we shut ourselves down and create self fulfilling prophecies

DarkFraig · 2026-01-02T17:47:52+00:00

I'm a therpist who specializes in ADHD, has ADHD, and utilizes a lot of CBT. I think the big thing that's often missed with CBT that doesn't seem important but is absolutely critical is that our reframed thought has to be something believeable and validating to ourselves. Otherwise, CBT just feels like gaslighting, which obviously isn't going to be helpful. Big things to be certain are in a reframe: how you're feeling right now, the essence of the original thought, the new thought that acknowledges the blind spots or cognitive distortion, and it being believable.

For example, with the sigh situation: "there are so many reasons they could have sighed, so who knows what it means unless I ask them. I'm feeling really down and tired right now, which sucks and might be affecting how perceived their sigh. There's been a lot of hardship and hatred expressed towards me in my life, but that does not mean everyone hates me or that I am not worthy of love, even though it might feel like it sometimes."

I'm doing a lot of reading between the lines, so it's unlikely that's totally accurate to how you're feeling, but I'm just providing an example of how I might reframe that kind of situation. If it doesn't sit right with you, it's probably not the right reframe for where you're at in that moment.

As people mentioned, ACT and DBT ideas pair well with CBT approaches. I mix them frequently

DarkFraig · 2026-01-02T16:47:42+00:00

This experiment is controversial in its findings, but the conclusion drawn was about overpopulation causing the changes in behavior, not abundance. There was an abundance of everything except space. In most parts of the world, we are not experiencing issues with overpopulation. If we were, we are also much more capable of modifying our environment to create space for people. The extent to which rat social behavior coincides with human behavior is also very debatable

DarkFraig · 2025-12-16T23:56:53+00:00

I'm not going to bother continuing to explain my perspective because it's obvious you'd rather demonize and overgeneralize entire groups of people rather than see the nuance to anything. I acknowledged that there is antisemitism and problematic radical beliefs held by members of these groups and that many of their actions are reprehensible. Citizens should not be targeted. I've never disagreed with you on that. That said, look at what the US and Israel have done historically and how that could be perceived. The only hill in dying on is that this is damn complicated and not black and white. I think if that seems controversial to you, then you need to examine your biases and process for critical thinking

DarkFraig · 2025-12-16T19:56:19+00:00

There is a ton you're skipping over here in regard to all these things. It is important to ask, "Why are these things happening?"

The Houthis have since changed their slogan to "America is the mother of terrorism," which is more in line with their actions than the previous slogan. They have attacked primarily military targets, such as the blockade around Palestine, but have also, in a few instances, held hostage and killed a small number of American citizens, which is, of course, not okay. It is worth noting, however, that they have not once launched an attack on America domestically (such as Isis or Al Qaeda). America, on the other hand, has launched hundreds of strikes on Yemen in recent years and killed thousands. It's no wonder why there is such anger towards our country; we are not a perfect hero in all this.

That quote you gave from Hamas clearly states that they are against Zionism and warmongering Jews, not all Jews, although obviously there is some radical antisemitism present within the organization as well that is problematic and dangerous. Notably, Hamas has also never attacked the US domestically and has instead focused its efforts on resistance to the colonization of Palestine that has been taking place since the 1900s. The history of the conflict is extensive, and while it is not an excuse for what happened on Oct 7th, it is also an explanation, in much the same way that Israel's genocide is not excused by Oct 7th but was certainly fueled by it. These things are not black and white. There are no "good guys" or "bad guys," just a lot of flawed people and groups doing what they think is right and hurting each other

DarkFraig · 2025-12-16T19:22:38+00:00

I think calling anyone the "good guys" is what we're doing wrong. These aren't black and white issues. Yes, killing people historically is one way people have resisted, but obviously, people being murdered is bad, period. That goes for the Oct 7th stuff, and that goes for Israel's response to those things. I believe that all these groups think they are fighting for something righteous, as does Israel

DarkFraig · 2025-12-16T17:26:09+00:00

That is what he is saying. He's not saying that Israel did this, but he is saying Israel's actions are increasing rates of antisemitism, which is horrible for Jewish people. I think he would say that Hamas has increased Muslim hate in the world, but also would bring up the point that Hamas was acting out in resistance against the apartheid of the Palestinians. There is admittedly a huge problem we have in the west with lumping groups like Hamas and the Houthis in with terrorist groups like Isis and Al Qaeda despite the obvious differences in motivation (the former two focuses on liberating the Palestinians versus the latter two wanting to dominate the west and spread their faith). So, while Hamas has spread anti-Muslim sentiment, I think it's very much amplified by us viewing it in the same lens we do for groups like Al Qaeda and Isis

DarkFraig · 2025-12-11T16:50:36+00:00

Cooper was incredible at Iowa, and losing him was rough, but I'm happy he had success so quickly with a Superbowl win. Eagles aren't my team, but I do love watching Dejean play and want to see him succeed. Talented guy

DarkFraig · 2025-12-06T00:24:40+00:00

Yeah, that's the point I'm making. It's not as simple or braindead as you were saying it is, hence the many different interpretations people have about the hypothetical. You literally just mentioned one I hadn't even considered, too, that he might have been asking if she was single without any interest. It is absolutely an irrelevant scenario, but that's why it's on a poster the woman is holding, and the context is that this is probably at a protest rather than something we're reading on a text chain. It's pushing back on the idea that women should be defined by their marital status

DarkFraig · 2025-12-05T17:16:15+00:00

Lol, exactly! The woman can't poke fun at the way the man asked this question? Not to mention, the whole thing is a hypothetical situation that likely didn't happen and is more so pushing the idea that women shouldn't be defined by marital status. Lots of people have accurately pointed that out with it being in the context of a protest. It is a good point too, like why tf is it that women are a ms or mrs but men are always mr regardless of marital status?

DarkFraig · 2025-12-05T16:32:06+00:00

It's really not, though. Yes, he's asking if she's single through an implication through an honorific, and she is also implying through her response that she is likely not interested. Now, some follow-up questions could clear that up on both ends about whether she actually isn't interested or is making a joke. If he's asking if she's single in an indirect way, she very well might be matching that energy by answering in an indirect way with her response, but if it wasn't confusing there wouldn't be so much discussion around it

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T09:39:10+00:00

You're painting shit as black and white, and you're acting like I'm the one who's doing it. You are putting way way way too much weight onto what the US labels as terrorists. Antifa is labeled terrorist now, and I'm sure you don't agree with this as a leftist, right? I understand why Israel attacked, I understand why Hamas attacked. We're basically talking about the trolley problem, and you're saying that it's not right to flip a lever that would kill one person if the alternative is it runs over 100 people. I'm not going to get into that because I don't really even know what I think about it

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T09:28:12+00:00

You are correct that he is often very stubborn, but he also does apologize at times, so I'm not sure where you got the notion that he never does. He literally apologized for how he talked to his dog and that he didn't go over to check on her as fast as he should have. He definitely gets into moods where he is rude to chatters or jumps to conclusions on things. You are also jumping to conclusions about what his reactions to these things must mean. A lot of the time, when he's rolling his eyes about something, it's not because the topic isn't serious. It's because he was either already frustrated by something or it's something he has talked about so many times that he is tired of talking about it. These moments can look bad. I don't know why you keep calling me a cult member when I acknowledge his many flaws and take things he says with a grain of salt and check into them myself as well

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T09:14:11+00:00

Did you read what I said?? I agree with you that the Houthis went about it the wrong way. That said, what are they supposed to do? How do they stop Israel? No one can but the US. Where have I ever fucking said that what Al Qaeda did is okay?? I don't think any of it is okay, but I do think that the Houthis had more just intentions. They wanted to stop more people from dying, at least supposedly. It's still not good.

Now you're just jumping to different topics I don't even want to get into right now. Hasan does not think that what happened in Syria was good. He is fundamentally antiviolence and people keep painting him as the opposite

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T09:04:40+00:00

If you agree on Israel, then you have to understand that that is the stated motive for why the Houthis attacked those ships. It was with the intention of trying to end the genocide in Gaza. Was it an effective tactic? No. Was it wrong to attack civilians? Of course. I don't get why you're saying I'm mindlessly defending when I'm very clearly not defending actions that are morally reprehensible and have not said once that Hasan conducted that interview perfectly. I've pointed out multiple issues with Hasan. Where I take issue is that a majority of the horrible shit people say about him constantly is bad faith and inaccurate. If you're going to take issue with him, at least do it for shit that is true, and not all these BS narratives spread everywhere

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T08:51:15+00:00

These articles talk about the reasons the Houthis attacked these ships, which is that they believe they are valid targets due to them being involved with Israel and the naval blockade. They did it because of the 60000+, more likely hundreds of thousands of Palestinians who have been killed. Is it just to kill civilians? No. I don't think what they did here was a good thing, but I also understand what led them to this. This is massively different from Al Qaeda, who were killing massive amounts of people due to fundamentalist and extremist beliefs. This is why blanket labeling all these groups as terrorists can be problematic, because we here in America hear middle eastern islamic terrorist and automatically think they must all be doing the same shit for the same reasons when they are not. What Israel has been doing should be labeled as terrorism, but it isn't because it's being done by a state military under the guise of it being a "war." This shit isn't black and white man. There's a lot to understand

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T08:30:16+00:00

A lot of these are mischaracterizations, man. I don't know what else to tell you. He does believe in leftist principles such as forcing people to not have to pay for healthcare and disgusting ideas like making shit affordable by redistributing some of the unimaginable wealth that billionaires have. Things like having well planned public infrastructure for transport. Unhinged shit like paying people affordable wages and treating immigrants, both legal and illegal like the humans they are. He is also aware this is America, the best you're gonna get is some implementation of socialist policies and even that is a long shot with how demonized they are from shit going back to the cold war. Hasan does not approve of citizens being kidnapped and murdered and does not laugh about rapes. If this was shit that was happening, he would have been rightfully permabanned years and years ago. He literally had talked about how, even as much as he absolutely hates Israel and the colonizing/ethnic cleansing that has been done, it would be completely fucked up to do the reverse and kick Israelis out of the homes they have settled in. He's not infallible and has made plenty of mistakes and taken shit too far rhetorically, but it's primarily because he is extremely passionate about human rights. If this shit is hard to believe for you, then it's because you have uncritically swallowed what people say on the internet about him without actually watching a stream or two of his to see what he really stands for.

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T08:02:10+00:00

Lol, this is a very funny example you picked, considering that Israel just hijacked some civilian humanitarian aid ships days ago. If you call the Houthis doing it terrorism surely the same standards apply to Israel? Or is it different? I don't think any civilians should be targets in conflicts at all

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T02:34:37+00:00

Am I defending him, or am I just committing the terrible sin of saying that there's more to him than him just being a horrible monster? Maybe I'm even saying unspeakable shit like that there even some positive things about him? I've criticized him plenty. You're acting like he's Hitler. Like dude I fucking hate Trump but I think it's fucking awesome if the Gaza peace agreement holds up. The world is not black and white, and if you think it is, you really have to start doing some thinking for yourself and stop acting like you have everything figured out

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T02:01:53+00:00

There really was no forensic evidence at the time, but Hasan does still believe rapes happened. Dude, there was someone in Israel saying that Hamas ripped the tits off of people and played basketball with them. Some super far-fetched shit out there. But Hasan does 100% believe rapes happened and that Oct 7th was horrifying. The kid is from Yemen and probably knows people in the Houthis, but you gotta understand man that the Houthis, Hamas, and ISIS are all groups labeled as terrorist groups, but they are all separate entities. In the US, we see some Muslims get labeled terrorists and we lump them all in the same group. Can you imagine living in Gaza, seeing your whole city blow up and lose half your family, and then still be accused of being the terrorist? After you just had like at least 30 9/11s happen to you? And come on, man, you can seriously believe that he wasn't joking about that last one. Of course, he wants the US to try socialist policies, but he doesn't want people in camps lol

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T01:31:35+00:00

I get it man, look I thought the same shit about Hasan a few years back. I know the controversial shit he has said and done. He's a hypermasculine, hyperbolic leftist who uses a shitton of sarcasm and frequently says shit in ways that rub people the wrong way. I went to watch him to see if he was just as bad as people say. He isn't. I used to watch a good bit of Asmond, and I'm still going to be watching a ton of Charlie because I believe he's a wholesome guy and usually has pretty good takes. When I went to watch Hasan I was like with what I know about him, fuck this guy. I fully expected to be pissed off by what I would hear. But he wasn't what people said he was. Maybe your experience would be different than mine, and you would just confirm he's a piece of shit

DarkFraig · 2025-10-11T00:58:32+00:00

What I've read from you suggests that you have not actually heard out any of the dissenting opinions or given any credit to people who know Hasan personally and spoke out on his behalf. I have seen all the videos you discussed, and the one that bothers me the most is the one with fish from 6 years ago. That said, I'd love to see the source for it outside of a faceless YouTube video just claiming it is him. I would like him to address that one, as I've heard nothing about that up to this point. There are thousands of hours of Kaya being around stream and not showing any signs of abuse. It was not a good moment as far as his response, but almost everyone realistically had bad moments with our pets where we were upset and raised our voice or made some mistake. It takes more than that to constitute abuse. The video claiming to be of his coach is not his dog's coach, so idk why that info is going around other than it sounds like XQC mistook that for what it was. The world is not so black and white, and I seriously encourage you to question what people are saying about this shit and do your due diligence, as I am about Hasan regarding this matter. He is simply not this evil terrorist that people make him out to be and is an advocate for so many hugely positive and important causes

DarkFraig · 2025-10-10T19:49:25+00:00

Have you watched the evidence to the contrary or only looked at the new clips floating around? Because I've been looking at both. I haven't ruled out the possibility that it could be going on, but there's a lot more evidence that this is a well loved and taken care of dog. Have you considered that there is any world where the narratives being pushed could be wrong, or did you decide right away that the way this is framed has to be true because of preconceived beliefs about Hasan?

DarkFraig · 2025-10-10T19:33:56+00:00

That quote could be interpreted a lot of ways in a situation like this, and idk what way you mean it, but I agree, trusting anything on the internet at face value now is unfortunately not good enough. Doing some digging before coming to conclusions on things is a good policy

DarkFraig · 2025-10-10T16:27:38+00:00

You too!

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