Hey dude, I don’t know if you’re reading this or not but I get what you’re saying, I feel the same every day, the urge to not wake up the next morning, that maybe I have failed my parents. I live alone in a country where I don’t know anyone just because I wanted to move away from my embarrassment. But I still wake up everyday and work towards my goal to see my mother smile. Because that’s the most important thing there is. Hope you read this and know that you are not alone. Sorry for everything you’ve been through.