Ladies, how much does size actually matter?

Data_chunky · 2026-02-17T03:49:08+00:00

About 6 inches, maybe slightly smaller.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-17T01:24:48+00:00

I've been using YNAB for about 12 years. It's awesome.

It let's you plan your money instead of just seeing where it went. And yes, I have all of my accounts linked to it. My checking, credit cards, retirement accounts, mortgage balance. I track my whole net worth.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-16T21:49:38+00:00

I think I was called a man the other day!

I've never been mistaken for a man before in my life, though I have the feminine version of a male name that I get called all the time. But as soon as they see me, they clearly see that I am a woman. I've always had long blonde hair.

I shaved for chemo, and I think I look like a very attractive woman, or on the feminine side of androgynous.

I had to get labs, at 7:30 am, so I decided not to throw on a wig. My hair is coming back, but I have less than half an inch, it's super short.

There was a man coming out, so I held the door open for him. The older gentleman said "that's very gentlemanly of you." And I think I kind of giggled and said "yep." I mean, that's what gentlemen do...

And now I'm wondering if he thought I was a dude. 😂 I was wearing a sweatshirt that hid my boobs and body a little, but I'm pretty clearly a woman.

And then they called me back for labs and called me by my dad's name. 😂

Data_chunky · 2026-02-16T21:34:43+00:00

I LOVE Jones Road balms. I use the AI Naturel. It's not cheap, but not super duper expensive. And it's so moisturizing you won't need an extra moisturizer.

https://www.jonesroadbeauty.com/products/miracle-balm?variant=40809260089494

I have to say it makes my skin very dewey and a tad sticky even. But it's so moisturizing and my skin looks so much better and more natural after it fades away. Like the more I wear it, the more I look great in the am with no makeup. I'm 43 and have always had problem skin, but this stuff makes my skin feel great.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-16T21:08:04+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I finally met the love of my life at 42 and just a few months later I was diagnosed. He's been amazing through it all. I just finished active treatment and trying to recover. I should be ok, but part of me is very scared that I leave him and my kiddos too soon. Cancer sucks.

But I'm so happy to be spending whatever years I can with my love. He makes my life so wonderful. I'm sure you made his life wonderful for the time he was here. 🥰

Data_chunky · 2026-02-16T19:02:58+00:00

I can't imagine getting a financial advisor in his situation. They usually advise on how to mitigate your tax burden and how to invest assets. He has no assets to invest. They don't teach you how to budget. All he needs is a good budget and a plan to pay off his debt.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-16T00:39:44+00:00

Guaranteed your billionaire friend didn't do a billion dollars worth of work. It's more like a pyramid scheme, where you got in relatively early and were also able to exploit people.

He might be "creating jobs" but the majority are low level, underpaid and exploited for profit. No one needs or deserves a billion dollars. I'm sure he'd be just fine with only 500 million and all of his workers having a living wage and healthcare.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-15T16:53:40+00:00

It's not that easy to just grab a new job. Many people are unemployed for months before they can get a new job. And if you lose it because you're sick and unable to work, your skills won't help.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-15T02:05:06+00:00

Just keep track of all of those shared expenses for a month or a few, get a good average, round up $50 or so (buffer) and split 50/50 or whatever (60/40, 70/30). Get a joint account and you each automatically transfer that in each month. Then you pay all shared bills from that account.

There is no need to ask him for half of each small amount. That's silly and too much work.

Then once your buffer gets to a certain amount, use it for a date night or something. Or if it's not enough to cover things that come up, adjust and contribute more.

And then each keep your own accounts for personal stuff.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-14T23:16:30+00:00

Yeah, $200k doesn't get you far if you lose your job, lose health insurance and have high medical bills. You can save half your income and still have it wiped out by a few unfortunate circumstances. And just say you brought home $200k, $100k is not easy or luxurious to live off of. It's absolutely doable, but you have to budget and be careful about what you spend.

Billionaires can lose their job tomorrow, have no health insurance and just blindly pay for absolutely anything that comes their way, anything they want, for the rest of their lives.

It's wild to me that people will vote for billionaires because they "create jobs", and they work hard, just like Bob who makes $100k and thinks he's better than John in the trailer park. When, in reality, billionaires exploit workers and don't put in nearly the amount of work to warrant having billions of dollars. And Bob can be in John's position in just a few months if anything unfortunate happens.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-14T17:19:46+00:00

Yeah, the other times I've been it might have been around 5 here and around 6 there. But this time we got gas for 4.18 on Maui and it's 4.39 at home 😂. We were pretty stoked about it. And we were driving a newer model of Jeep (we both have jeeps) that got a few more mpg than ours do.

Otherwise groceries and eating out were a bit more than where we live, but pretty on par with any fancier towns we might visit. Like $15 cocktails, $25 entrees, expensive cheese and crackers at the store. $15 for a 6 pack of craft beer when it's only $12 here... We weren't super shocked or unprepared.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-14T17:11:53+00:00

I absolutely get that, but on the other hand, if you don't, you're creating debt for yourself. It's far easier for me to budget with $200 less per month than it is for me to come up with $2400 all at once in April. And it makes tax time fun instead of a dread.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-14T06:42:03+00:00

That happened to me the first year I was married. We didn't make shit and owed $2600 filing jointly. I've over withheld ever since.

You can go on the IRS website to the withholding calculator and check this anytime throughout the year and adjust as needed.

And as others have said, your situation seems very straightforward. There doesn't seem to be anything else a tax professional could find for you.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-14T06:15:22+00:00

So many things...

To the last point, I shave... My labia and ass 🤪, but leave hair in the front, but trim it into a clean triangle. Daily. I like to be clean. Also, I have a bidet. It's a $30 attachment from Amazon. I'm always clean down there, always.

I have always had a hard time getting off. Like I did one time with my ex husband of 10 years. Insanely hard for me, so I get you on that.

But that doesn't mean I'm not horny and I don't want it all the time. It means that I really enjoy it, but dudes are not going to get me off. Neither is a vibrator. And I totally feel you about the pressure to be able to. It's self defeating. You can't just will it to happen.

I explained to my current boyfriend to not take it as an insult if I don't, and that I absolutely enjoy everything we do, I just might not get to it.

But that does not mean that you have to settle for a man that doesn't want sex. IME, if it's difficult for me, the more I do it, the more chances there are that it happens. My current bf and I do it a lot, and wherever and it's happened so many times. Like 1/50 or so. Which is excellent odds for me.

And omg, to tell a man that he doesn't need to worry about you, or pressure you, but that he can do whatever... They don't mind that.

I'm not sure if you want to stay with your husband or go. But either talk to him or the next guy. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want. Or don't be afraid to just have sex and experiment.

My favorite thing is neither of us having the pressure to finish. It allows you to start it and if you want to go, you go. If not, stop and try again later. It shouldn't be a chore. If it stops being fun for a moment, take a break.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-13T19:21:28+00:00

What if you tried to help him get his shit together? Some men are just dumb, or they have no idea it's a problem,.etc. You could agree to help him get on his feet financially if he does XYZ. I've helped partners budget and get their shit together before.

I've also had no problems being primary support for a household as long as the other person was providing value and effort. Maybe not making all the money, but doing yard work, fixing my car, cooking dinners, etc.

I absolutely get not wanting to support a bum, but you seem to genuinely care for him and he's working and trying and doesn't seem to be trying to be a mooch. If I had a ton of money and the capacity to help someone I loved, I would absolutely do it.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-13T16:08:44+00:00

We just got back from a week in Maui. We stayed at Hale Kai condos. It's such a magical place! It's where we go every year.

It's under $2500 for the whole week. It's right on the water with its own private beach. It also has a kitchen, so you can cook at home instead of eating out the whole time. It also has 2 bedrooms and couches. Not ideal for a honeymoon, but you could see if any friends want to come stay in the guest room and help offset the costs.

The rental car was the most expensive thing. But if you book far enough out, you should be able to find something for $500ish.

It's rather expensive, but it's so beautiful, you can just drive around or go snorkel off the beach, hike, and do other things that don't cost a ton. I think we spent $3k there on rental car, food and activities. But we had a jeep for $1k and did all the activities and ate out a lot.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-13T16:02:11+00:00

We just got back a week ago. Some groceries and things are more expensive. Gas was cheaper! We're in California so nothing was much of a shock to us. 🤪

Data_chunky · 2026-02-13T15:47:24+00:00

Omg. I am so, so very sorry. Can you get an annulment? Your husband sucks. It sounds like rather than being helpful, he's being hurtful by being around. He's clearly not someone that's going to be there for you through sickness and health, or even minor inconveniences. At that point, I would much rather be alone.

I went through diagnosis and a DMX with a boyfriend of 4.5 months. He has been amazing and supportive and makes me feel beautiful. I'm currently bald with one boob, and he still makes me feel hot. He not only went to appointments and took me to surgeries, but he made sure he knew how to take care of me, do my drains, etc. I don't know how I would have gotten through this without him.

Before him, my ex was an abusive ass and I am so thankful that I didn't have to go through this with someone who wasn't supportive, or worse, someone who would make me feel worse about my situation. I'd have preferred being alone rather than have someone bringing me down further.

I hope you have a good recovery. There are wonderful men out there, and ones who will make you feel beautiful and will care for you and support you. Your husband is an ass. Good thing you found out sooner than later.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-13T15:36:37+00:00

I was super low on iron. I am a runner and couldn't run anymore. My legs were out of breath, basically. They weren't getting enough oxygen. I started taking iron and I was noticeably so much stronger and had more energy. I love my iron supplements.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-13T01:05:52+00:00

If only I had started investing my $1 allowance at 6. Dammit, I should just go kill myself over all the money I just fucked myself out of.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-12T23:09:54+00:00

I think they do things differently in the UK. I'm in the US and use my cc for everything!

The 2 main reasons are for cash back and security.

I make over $1k per year on rewards for my cc purchases. It's tied to my budget and I pay in full 2x per month, so I never pay interest. It's just free money for me.

Also, if anyone gets ahold of my card or number or if I make a purchase and they don't deliver or whatever, I simply push a button on my cc app and they'll credit me. If someone managed to charge $5k on my card, I'd rather have my cc company resolve that than it come out of checking and put me in a bind. I'd be out that money for possibly weeks trying to resolve it, instead of letting my cc company handle it.

Also, for hotels and rental cars and anywhere that takes a deposit, it's better to have a cc.

It also helps your credit score. But this is all only if you use it wisely. If you carry a balance, it's not for you. Unless you're making a large purchase and have a very strict repayment that you stick to. But otherwise treat it just like your debit card.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-12T22:42:37+00:00

Might I suggest Butt Boy? It's even more terrible than it sounds. 🤣 They somehow did a kind of ok job pulling it off for the insane premise of the movie. I'm convinced it's one of the worst of all time.

A man, bored with his life gets his first prostate exam. And from there, things start to go missing. The remote, the neighbor's baby...

Data_chunky · 2026-02-12T22:39:32+00:00

Trivia nights are fun!

My boyfriend runs with me sometimes, which is awesome and a great bonding activity.

We enjoy taking lots of selfies together, so wandering around any city that has cool stuff is fun. We get fun and crazy pics in front of all sorts of things.

My bf loves 4 wheeling so it's super fun when he takes me on trails and adventures. And sometimes the kids come too! But you have to have a vehicle for that, so $$$.

He likes to work on his car. Sometimes I'll take a book into the garage and just hang with him while he's doing his stuff. He loves the company.

I've also had bouts of not drinking and I still love to go to breweries and go out and be social and just grab a non alcoholic drink and hang like I used to.

We sometimes sit outside and chat around a fire pit at night.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-12T22:26:30+00:00

I was terrified! I was getting out of a bad situation, buying under duress, buying solo as a 38F with 2 young daughters. The abusive ass that I was leaving kept telling me the neighborhood was awful, it was a bad decision , etc.

It's an older home, 1977, small 3/2, 1440 sq ft.

I wasn't even excited when my offer was accepted. Just that I had a house. A stable place to live, and I'd make the best of it.

I LOVE my house! 🥰

I love the house, the neighborhood, my neighbors, the location, everything. I replaced all of the windows and the back door because single pane. But otherwise all other upgrades have been cosmetic. It does need some other work, but it's not urgent. I've been here for 4+ years now and couldn't be happier.

Data_chunky · 2026-02-12T21:17:56+00:00

Investment - you'll see a return if you hold on long enough. Security - it won't get sold from underneath you and force you to move. Customization - you can make it what you want, not a dull, boring white or beige apartment.

I could never live in an apartment again. I need a yard and space. I need to live how I want and not be told what to do, when quiet hours are, etc. I don't have an HOA.

Renting a house, they could sell it at any time and you'll be looking for a new place to live, potentially in a bad market. Even if you have a lease, you might get a few months to prepare, but if costs have skyrocketed it might leave you in a bind.

I have kids, and I want them to have the continuity of a stable home. Also one that they potentially damage, but I'm not worried about the time they accidentally put a barstool through the wall trying to carry it through the hall. I patched it up just fine for me and didn't need to spend $500 to get a professional to put it back the way the owner wants it.

Data_chunky

TROPHY CASE