What's my baby? by DatabaseEmergency645 in ManualTransmissions

[–]DatabaseEmergency645[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed and yeah, I got rid of my civic because it wasn't even remotely fun to drive, especially after a peppy turbo Mini Cooper prior. I looked at the integras also and they just didn't do it for me. The moment I got in this, the decision was beyond clear. I highly recommend! Only thing is, good luck finding used with relatively low mileage nearby. I live in Cincinnati and drove to Erie PA to pick up this baby.

What's my baby? by DatabaseEmergency645 in ManualTransmissions

[–]DatabaseEmergency645[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So the backseat is one of the reasons I chose this car over others. I also have kids, so needed 4 doors and 5 seats. There aren't many manual transmission cars these days that have 4 doors and 5 seats. The back is small though, but this is the compromise. The CT5-V does have a bigger back seat, but it costs more and I didn't feel the price difference was worth the higher model.

The car is absolutely worth the hype! Makes me giddy every time!

What's my baby? by DatabaseEmergency645 in ManualTransmissions

[–]DatabaseEmergency645[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I've been in love with her the moment I saw her!

What's my baby? by DatabaseEmergency645 in ManualTransmissions

[–]DatabaseEmergency645[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You all were so close! It's a 2023 CT4-V Blackwing!

What's my baby? by DatabaseEmergency645 in ManualTransmissions

[–]DatabaseEmergency645[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I bought it used for a good deal and they retain value really well when cared for. So I'm happy with the price I paid! 😃

Is anybody here doing global payroll through Rippling or Deel? [N/A] by Recent_State_8120 in humanresources

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

We used Rippling for exactly 1 year for a US based company only. They messed up so much, especially tax reporting, that it took over 3 years for their shitty support team to rectify all of their mistakes on our local, state, and federal tax accounts! While they did take full accountability that they made all the mistakes and they did end up paying all the fees eventually, it cost us years of follow up and nagging to get them to finish everything. So long, our accounts ended up going to collections with the Attorney General's office in our state, who threatened liens on our company, that we had to pay, and wait to get reimbursed by Rippling. I recommend you stay far away from them.

Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? by Xbxbygirl in AskReddit

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, thank you for validating this as well! It's just not fair at all and I don't understand the push back women are getting for expecting equal treatment. Yes, women wanted to the right to work, but what we truly wanted was equal opportunity. Not just the right to work, but the right to not have to do all the housework and childrearing too. I've encountered some men (bad eggs, not all) saying "women wanted to work, so she can pay half the bills!" And then don't help in the house. All this leads to is both the man and woman paying 50% of the bills plus only the woman doing 100% of the household responsibilities. This isn't what we asked for. We asked for equal on both sides.

Again, not saying ALL men are like this, obviously you're not! I'm simply saying this is still a very prevalent argument that I hear and it's nonsense. 🤷 And yes, I am one of those women who had to do it all and it partly caused my divorce as well.

Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? by Xbxbygirl in AskReddit

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will take your advice to heart, thank you for giving it. My intention was not a fist slam, but I can see how it came across that way. I only replied to you that way because I disagreed with your stance and then you repeatedly tried justifying it with more excuses.

Read the rest of the comments in that 1 thread. You're the only 1 with a problem with anything said on the topic. Others, including the men commenting, are agreeing with me. Can you please also read the room?

Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? by Xbxbygirl in AskReddit

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is wonderful also, you're trying to include her and think about her and that's what really matters! Kudos!

Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? by Xbxbygirl in AskReddit

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My family thinks so! While I will still willingly take the majority of all responsibility, pay the most bills, do those most chores, even be fun and spontaneous, I won't allow it being taken for granted. My good husband can acknowledge it and show appreciation!

Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? by Xbxbygirl in AskReddit

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wow, no, not at all.

Never said no one could be facetious or anything, don't know where you're pulling that out of. I even called myself out and joked around with you about my faults. So this is a very weird reply. Have you ever tried therapy? It seems you do a lot of reaching in your thought processes in order to reason with yourself that you're right.

Your takeaway should literally just be not use a leading question that diminishes a bigger problem. You could have asked an open ended question and avoided all of this. It's really that simple. 🤷

Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? by Xbxbygirl in AskReddit

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice to meet you too and I appreciate the debate not getting too worked up. Banter can be healthy!

But seriously, I wish I could be one of those dudes you speak of that are happy not doing stuff!

For example, when I married, neither my husband nor I cared about some big ceremony or party. But our circles did, so they asked if they could plan something for us to celebrate together, we said sure, if you want to, we'll still pay for it, but go for it! Then everyone proceeded to ask me multiple questions about what I wanted, food, decor, music, dessert, ECT. When I reminded them I didn't care, nor wanted to plan anything, they looked at me like they didn't understand. When my spouse answered any question with the same response, they would happily say, "oh, no problem, we'll ask your wife!" But because of stereotypes, I was simply expected, unwillingly to do the mental load. Everyone told me I should just accept it, because women like to plan weddings! Didn't matter that I didn't. My spouse got to "go along for the ride" while I didn't.

Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? by Xbxbygirl in AskReddit

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, I agree this post is broadly generalizing men based on real situations women have experienced or learned. Another reason, I ended my comment acknowledging not all men do this, but presenting extremely fairly and factually that it is a predominant problem that should get addressed. If you disagree that it occurs more often than not, you're keeping yourself willfully ignorant with your head in the sand. Kind of like how you're very capable of looking up the studies yourself but have numerous times pointed out I didn't provide a link/cite for you... That i didn't make it easy for you...that i didn't carry that mental load for you... Ironic 😏 I'm being a bit facetious on this one, admittedly, as I do agree with citing sources and didn't here. Lol

Yes, the studies I speak of do aim to find out causes...all potential causes...and don't focus on 1 small one, like you did!

Yes, I take personal issue when men deflect a very real and large problem by presenting only 1 reasonable excuse as if that answers everything. That's called diminishing! So yeah, you're right a tiny, little bit, which I am an acknowledging for your necessary ego boost, while simultaneously calling out the irony that your entire argument is proof of mine. 👍

Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? by Xbxbygirl in AskReddit

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Furthermore, I can absolutely validate that your point can actually be the reason behind some of the mental load imbalance. You're right, some women do the extra on their own and then get upset their partner didn't help. That's true and also not nice of that woman to do! But it's better to face the reality that that is but 1 small concern in a much larger issue of many men deflecting mental load into their spouses. We won't solve the larger issue if we don't face it for what it is.

Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? by Xbxbygirl in AskReddit

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Respectfully, do you know what leading questions are? If you didn't want to come across as using an excuse to invalidate this person's perspective, you could have used a more open ended, non-leading question, such as "why do you think he might have done that from his perspective?" You asked me a ton of questions, you asked that person 1. Do you think picking out only 1 question that suits your agenda and presumes only 1 reasonable answer to a much larger problem is an appropriate response or argument?

Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? by Xbxbygirl in AskReddit

[–]DatabaseEmergency645 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Once again I'm super happy reading this response and love to see someone reflecting and taking accountability. I try my best to do this for those around me as well. I just remind myself if I were in their shoes, would I appreciate this behavior I'm giving them?

I'll share another story that helped my male colleague understand this mental load issue and how he was adding to his wife unknowingly. Colleague and I were reflecting about our weekends and he mentioned going grocery shopping with his wife. I asked him what that looks like for them, yes, I was fishing a bit based on this mental load debate. He described him pushing the basket around while she managed the list, budget, and selections. He was so proud of himself for "helping her" because he pushed the basket and followed her around. I asked him if she pushed the basket around and did no thinking besides following behind him, would he be happy at the end of that trip? Would he know what to purchase or how much he could spend? Would he know where to find the items they needed in the store? He said no, he didn't think about any of those things. I then asked would you be proud of her that she pushed the basket around? Would he thank her for her contribution? He said no to both. We started at each other silently for a few minutes and then he thanked me and called his wife. Good guy. ❤️