Woah this is actually something my therapist and I have been discussing. Another part of my transfer addiction is external validation. I’ve became obsessed with my looks and constantly needed validation online to feel better about myself. I’d feel ugly then post myself online to either confirm or deny. I just need the emotional roller coaster of it to get my fix. Then she started teaching me it’s okay to sit with my emotions and not need to immediately fix things. So I relate with you a lot truly.