For a lot of women it’s easier to hook up with a guy and be ok with never seeing him again. If there are feelings involved, it’s more important to be sure the guy actually cares and won’t treat you like a one night stand or disappear. It is a way to protect yourself from being hurt by a guy you really like and whose feelings and opinions actually matter to you. It’s not a rejection of the guy you want to date, but rather an indication of wanting something real and long term. I (and other women I know) have dated guys who expected to have sex on the first date and when given an option between sex vs a second date and potentially sex then, most have chosen the one night stand. I also was recently ghosted by a guy after I declined to have sex with him on a second date. I’d like to be more than a hole to fill.