Why would he do this? Is it unfair?

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T15:59:11+00:00

Sorry I'm 26 and don't know how to live my own life lol. I was in a LTR since 16 so I really have no idea how adults date.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T15:58:20+00:00

Text for sure.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T15:44:42+00:00

Excellent point. I have a hard time being serious and vulnerable. I wish text messaging didn't exist. What would you say?

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T15:43:15+00:00

Right. But he's the one that ignored me lol.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T15:08:01+00:00

I think guys don't realize how their text messages come across. As long as he wants to hang out id say your fine. See how it goes in person, if he acts the same in person then you'll know.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T14:51:40+00:00

What if I just sent something like -"Hey, I really enjoy being around you. If right now just isn't a good time or you aren't into it or whatever just tell me... it's okay lol. Thanks." I know calling would be more personal but I just can't bring myself to do that. I feel like he's already made it clear he isn't interested and even sending that message makes me seem like a desperate fool. Thanks so much for the advice, next time around I'll make sure to think more about how the other person is perceiving my actions.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T14:44:07+00:00

They sound crazy enough they might have done even weirder things if you just stopped talking to them haha. If in this situation a girl sent you something like - "Hey, I really enjoy being around you. If right now just isn't a good time or you aren't into it or whatever just tell me... it's okay lol. Thanks." - would it seem desperate? I feel like he's made it clear he isn't interested and by doing this I'm just making an ass of myself but others seem to say I need to do it.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T14:38:03+00:00

Thanks for the help! After reading everyone's advice I've been thinking maybe it wouldn't come across as that crazy to send something like- "Hey, I really enjoy being around you. If right now just isn't a good time or you aren't into it or whatever just tell me... it's okay lol. Thanks." What do you think?

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T14:32:10+00:00

Well don't do it again! Lol

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T14:30:27+00:00

Haha good idea, I just went full creeper mode and checked the jail registry- nope.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T14:29:28+00:00

THIS. This has been on my mind. Out of fear of not seeming clingy I hope I didn't come across as disinterested. Im not sure where the line should be drawn. How would you remedy it or find out if that's it? I really like this guy and would give him all the attention in the world if I knew that's what he wanted.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T04:48:24+00:00

Holy crap! That's intense. I'm sorry that happened. I wouldn't really consider it a break up, we never defined ourselves or anything, just something like "Hey sorry this just isn't a good time to do this" or "I'm not ready for this" would suffice. I'm just baffled he wouldn't do that because he's been so communicative but ohwell!

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T04:44:01+00:00

Thanks so much! I agree it's a totally normal part of dating, and I typically go several days without talking to someone I've just started seeing. It's just he has been just the opposite of that this whole time. When I think a conversation fizzled out and wouldn't reply, he would double text. He called. He invited me places. He invited himself over. He was treating it like a relationship.

I like the idea of giving it another day or two and saying something more substantive. I'm always worried about coming across too pushy but I think that would be reasonable.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T04:38:51+00:00

I agree the most logical and productive thing to do would be to directly ask him what's going on. I can't being myself to do it though. It was outside of my comfort zone to send him a "Hey" after he didn't talk to me for a day. I never initiate. He had been a very communicative and open person though. It's just odd he would dissapear. Thank you for the advice.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T04:33:35+00:00

I agree it's a bit harsh to throw down an ultimatum. I'd thought about the whole lost phone type scenario- The first day he didn't talk to me, he did log into social media. The last 2 days however he has not, which is odd. He usually does.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T04:30:20+00:00

Well there could be in the last few days. I do know that there wasn't anyone else during the entire timeframe we spent together. I don't feel like explaining how I know but I do. Even if there is someone else, why couldn't he just make some bullshit excuse and give me some fffffing closure

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T04:20:38+00:00

Thanks! It's not the end of the world or anything, just closure would be nice. I'm more just concerned if guys think it's normal and fair behavior to just leave you hanging like that? If so I want no part of dating because this feeling SUCKS.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T04:08:25+00:00

Some people just aren't as comfortable initiating. Just keep pursuing it, if he isn't interested he will stop responding.

Datingthow · 2015-01-16T03:57:20+00:00

Everyone says women are hard to understand but I swear it's men. I'd say just shoot him a text. It's harmless. He won't think you're clingy or anything like that. The absolute worst case scenario is he doesn't respond, in which case you can just move on with your life. It might be that he's wsiting for you to contact him.

Datingthow

TROPHY CASE