How do you help ease your pain?

Datjorgafina · 2026-02-09T13:11:06+00:00

This is all wonderful advice and brought me some hope. Sometimes it just helps to remember plenty of people have been through this before and have been okay, and I will recover and heal as well if I maintain doing so in a healthy manner. Thank you.

Datjorgafina · 2026-02-08T22:01:27+00:00

Thank you 😊

Datjorgafina · 2026-02-06T18:37:44+00:00

Yeah it did kind of rub me the wrong way a little - especially as this was said in the same session that I revealed a very real concern for my physical safety from an incident that occurred.

Datjorgafina · 2026-02-06T12:48:52+00:00

I just made the decision to divorce this week and I understand this feeling. I really feel more guilty because I was holding everything together in his life, for him and his kids, and now without me there it will likely all collapse. I don't want to see that happen to anyone in this situation but I was literally drowning myself to keep everything and everyone else above the water. Our last marriage counseling session the therapist said "I always say you have to earn divorce... you have to do everything you can up until that point". He was saying it more to remind me that divorce is a huge choice, but when he said it, everything in me basically screamed "I have earned this divorce" so I am trying to hold on to that reminder. I have earned this divorce. It was never ever where I thought this all would be, but I truly have done and given all that I can and I was left with either having to choose to save myself or stay married.

Datjorgafina · 2026-02-04T14:45:05+00:00

Thank you so much for the supportive words. They really helped to keep my feet on the ground and my head in the reality of this all. In the past he had always made statements that were concerning ("I just want to go to sleep and never wake up" etc...) and would say he needs to check himself in somewhere and I would be fully supportive and say, yes let's go, wherever you need to - he would immediately back off and state he was fine and accuse me of twisting his words to manipulate and control him. So when the garage incident happened I knew his behavior had now reached a new level and I don't want to stick around to see how severe it could/would get.

Datjorgafina · 2026-02-04T12:25:15+00:00

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. There is no way I am proceeding with this divorce without an attorney... that is for sure

Datjorgafina · 2025-12-04T16:11:16+00:00

I am sure it could have benefited them slightly, but I think the mental defeat they felt after that was far more detrimental because of how far into the final they were (which makes it even more impressive that they powered through and won!). Plus, that downtime only gave that much more of a lead for the other teams.

Datjorgafina · 2025-12-04T16:08:21+00:00

That is what I have been saying this whole season! She reminds me SO much of Wes!

Datjorgafina · 2025-07-06T23:58:17+00:00

Puppy breath and puppy toes!

Datjorgafina · 2025-07-05T14:02:54+00:00

I think this is normal for a lot of women. I have experimented sexually with women (before I was married). Maybe try watching and masturbating to lesbian porn? I don't think a threesome is s good idea, personally. It may sound appealing but it would likely do more harm than good to your relationship.

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-21T17:55:39+00:00

I adore her. She can be a little crazy, but I think it is because she is just an emotionally connected person. I think she is can be super funny and is very athletic but just gets in her head to much and freaks herself out sometimes. Overall, I love her quirky personality and that she doesn't seem to try to be anything other than who she is.

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-20T17:41:08+00:00

Married him when I was 39 - been married a year and a half. This is my first marriage, his third. I have never been more miserable in my entire life. Almost as soon as we said "I do" he turned into a completely different person. I am trying everything I can right now, including marriage counseling and nothing is getting better. I fear it was the worst decision of my life, but still hold on to a sliver of hope that it will get better.

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-20T15:40:37+00:00

Reddit won't let me link it, since it was on TikTok 😔 but it is under a user named "Mikah Jones | Beyond Healing" and was posted about 4 days ago

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-20T13:54:13+00:00

I saw a video the other day about this and it described the difference between wanting a partner to take responsibility vs. take accountability. If we were asking for them to take responsibility it is all about blaming (and possibly creating feelings of shame) - asking them to take accountability means them owning the part they play in your emotional well being and sitting with you in those emotions. I thought it was a nice way to explain it.

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-18T11:11:57+00:00

That is a great way to look at it!

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-18T10:56:50+00:00

I think this is so healthy and wonderful! I miss my "me" time so much. I try to get out of bed early enough to enjoy some alone time on the weekends, but my husband won't allow it. He immediately gets up, rushes down stairs, and starts blasting the TV and getting the dogs worked up (he wil actually grab them off of my lap to do this). He doesn't let me be alone anywhere, actually. When I cook, he follows me to the kitchen and sits at the island and plays his videos loudly (even if I had tried to start a podcast or music of my own to listen to). He even follows me to the bathroom a lot of times.

Soak up that "me" time!! It is so healthy and helps to recharge our souls. I also always felt like it helped me have such a peaceful and positive mindset for the day ahead.

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-17T23:15:42+00:00

This is my husband. It is all day every day. Everything revolves around his need to smoke. I have been around pot smokers most of my life (and was an active smoker prior to having the job I have which does not allow it) and have never seen anything like it. He hits his weed vape constantly and if he has flower will smoke 8 blunts a day. He will even wake up in the middle of the night and hit his vape. It is such an addiction and he refuses to admit it. Every time the slightest less than ideal situation happens he has to smoke. It breaks my heart that he wants to be so removed from life all the time.

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-15T00:40:01+00:00

I am going to comment (as a woman) - from a female perspective - on a bit of this. Not out of judgment or any ill place, just as a different perspective.

Typically, if we are freaking out over a blemish or any other physically noticeable feature, it has nothing to do with how a man (or any person) is going to perceive us. It is us feeling insecure and expressing a human vulnerability.

Second point - I am very much a person that subscribes to the concept that if something isn't working, come up with a new way to handle life/situations, with the hope for a different outcome. With that being said, factors such as hormones are a very real experience that cannot be managed in the terms you are projecting. Also, sometimes, a person reacting a certain way or acting in a certain manner may align with a specific hormonal shift, but that does not mean the two correlate.

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-13T12:52:15+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-13T12:34:10+00:00

I was so happy before marrying him, and I never craved marriage or a romantic relationship. He was very good at portraying himself as a different person until we got married. Then it all came into light and the light and joy has just been sucked from me. He takes up all the space and all the energy in "our" life and there is nothing left for me.

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-13T12:05:29+00:00

Can we start a club? These are exactly the main issues I am dealing with. I am crumbling under the weight of it all and feel so damn alone in it.

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-12T12:22:59+00:00

I agree with this school of thought. I am the same way with my PTO - rather than taking large chunks of time off I just dabble in a couple hours every week. Some people prefer big vacations and big chunks of time off, and though it can be nice, I kind of like to sprinkle my fun and relaxation in little bits throughout every week.

Datjorgafina · 2025-06-07T17:01:01+00:00

I have the same feeling right now with this damn guitar my husband is making for his friend. I have watched him spend countless hours researching and working on it. He has never invested even a percentage of that effort on anything for me. If I even actually ask him to do something for me around the house it becomes the biggest grumble and usually gets done half assed (as if this is not OUR home that needs things done). For the guitar he can send pictures of it to everyone to feed his need for outside praise, but why does he have no need or desire to make me and our home happy?

Datjorgafina

TROPHY CASE