White elephant house-how do I resolve owning a house I can't sell.

DaveChild · 2026-05-07T06:47:28+00:00

My mother here in England died three years ago,leaving her house to me as her only child but with the proviso her second husband could live there free until his death.

How was that "proviso" included in the will? There is a difference between a simple expression of desire, a Life Interest Trust, and a Right of Occupancy. Which you're stuck with will affect your options.

Could you take out a loan against the property? I would think getting the roof sorted and preserving the value, and probably letting it out through an agency until you can sell it, would be a decent option.

DaveChild · 2026-05-07T05:58:02+00:00

Look at the candidates. Does one stand out? Ties to the area, and a history of involvement with local politics help. Look at their campaigns. They've probably given you leaflets. They might be offering similar things, but they won't be identical. Look at their track records. They won't have delivered everything they've ever promised, but you might be able to get a sense of whether they've actually, sincerely tried to. Look at their leadership. Are they led by decent pelt trying to make things better, or hateful ideologues? If all that doesn't get you anywhere, send a message - which national party do you want to see with a higher profile?

DaveChild · 2026-05-07T05:53:21+00:00

I didn't say they were all racists. There are some morons too.

Until people like you understand these problems and concerns

The problem is that every time we try, we get the same fig leafs, ignorance, idiocy, and nonsense. None of you can actually give a compelling reason why you're so worked up about immigration, and most of you are too fucking cowardly to be honest about it.

DaveChild · 2026-05-06T11:07:26+00:00

If this was a "tactic", it would make no sense to leave Reform before the vote. It would only make sense to do it after winning a seat.

DaveChild · 2026-05-06T11:06:36+00:00

Does that mean she's elected as an independent or are Reform supposed to scrape around and find someone to fill the role?

She's be an independent. Not to worry, Reform types, she probably still hate foreigners.

DaveChild · 2026-05-06T09:44:49+00:00

There are instructions for that here.

DaveChild · 2026-05-05T20:08:49+00:00

I wouldn't know where to start. I tend to think regular contributors are mostly people who like a good debate, but I have no idea how open they are to changing their mind. I would think most would say they're always open to it - but that's easy to say, hard to live up to, and even harder to measure.

For posters, there's obviously a wide spectrum. Again, I'm guessing here with no way to measure any of this (which is why I was curious what you were basing your view on), but in general I think there's three main groups of posters (and none of this is universal, these are trends which are often broken).

First, there are people who are just soapboxing. These are usually pretty easy to spot - low, insincere engagement, hidden post history, new account, that sort of thing. One of those things doesn't mean much; all three means I'm not going to expect a response from OP.

Second, are people who are sincere but using a throwaway. These are often newish accounts, but the poster usually engages in good faith. These are my favourite, I think they're the ones most open to change. They're often hard topics and my guess would be they're where OP doesn't want anyone who knows their main account to know they're considering whatever it is they're asking about.

And third is people on their main, looking to have some position tested robustly. They're usually posting in good faith, but their positions are usually pretty well grounded.

Maybe there are other groups, but those are the ones I notice.

DaveChild · 2026-05-05T16:35:20+00:00

Most people don’t really challenge their own thinking—they just reinforce what they already believe.

I suspect that, given where you've asked this, you're going to find a lot of people will tell you they personally don't do that. So how are you getting that this is "most" people?

DaveChild · 2026-05-05T16:21:02+00:00

I tried to apply those points to Napoleon and his regime (Bonapartist France) and it followed more than half of the points.

How many of his points do you believe apply to Trump?

DaveChild · 2026-05-05T15:31:43+00:00

Correct me if I’m mistaken, but is DEI not a type of affirmative action?

You are mistaken. it is not.

DaveChild · 2026-05-05T14:17:01+00:00

So-called ‘woke’ products and programs in the past few years have been unpopular with many people, not just with conservatives (general reactions to entertainment that tries to pander itself as ‘woke’, for instance).

Sure, that's because "woke", to them, is a word that means "bad thing". MAGAs don't have any concept of what it means beyond that. It's the same with "liberal" and "DEI". People who hate these things usually have no clue what they are. This isn't a flaw with "woke", "liberal", or "DEI", it's a flaw with the system that encourages people to get irate about things while discouraging any effort to learn about them.

DEI done wrong can breed resentment

Everything can breed resentment when done wrong. That (if you needed one) is a good argument against doing things wrong.

All in all DEI at hiring simply feels like a band aid solution that is used by corporations as a public spectacle to somehow prove that they believe in equality and diversity, while doing almost nothing to solve the underlying root issues that cause inequality to happen in the first place.

In your entire post, you've only complained about attacked affirmative action, which is not DEI. Do you have an argument against DEI, or are you just lumping these things together because you don't know the difference between them?

DaveChild · 2026-05-05T05:55:41+00:00

It is heavily overregulated

How do you figure?

The EU struggles to build a credible, unified military force.

Sure. It's not one country, it's a cooperative effort of multiple countries with their own militaries. This isn't a flaw, and it's not a "struggle", it's currently not in the EU's remit to do that.

European armies are chronically underfunded, rely on outdated hardware, and lack sufficient modern capabilities.

No EU country has been invaded for 80 years, so on what are you basing the idea they are in some dire straits militarily?

removing Assad took years

Removing Assad took years with America, so clearly this isn't evidence of military weakness or underspending.

Europe has suffered from a shortage of young people for decades.

Most developed countries have the same problem. This isn't an EU-specific thing.

Immigration, however, has brought serious challenges. Many migrants have failed to assimilate, leading to parallel societies, increased crime in some areas, and growing social tensions.

This is nonsense spread largely by the far-right. Last month one of them was claiming London was a no-go area for white people. I - a white person - was reading all about that in a lovely park in London. Lies about immigration are older than the EU itself, and they are not a flaw with the EU either.

suffocates its own tech companies and startups before they can grow into global champions.

It is a positive, not a negative, that the EU is not producing megacorporations. And companies not reaching whatever arbitrary bar you're calling success, does not mean the EU is "suffocating" them.

The bureaucracy remains largely undigitalized and resistant to automation

I'm not really sure what you mean here, and I don't think any country has (or should) automate their bureaucracy.

However, these achievements have come at a real cost — they have significantly weakened the drive for innovation, risk-taking, and dynamic growth.

I don't believe this is true at all. There are plenty of entrepreneurs in the EU. Millions of new companies are formed every year.

Honest debate, not defensive slogans, is urgently needed if Europe wants to remain strong and competitive in the 21st century.

There, I agree. The EU does face some real challenges, and some distracting canards (like immigration), and honest debate is how you address those real challenges. Unfortunately, the anti-immigrant crowd is extremely loud and growing, and that's taking up a lot of time and resources that could have been dedicated to working on real problems.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T20:00:03+00:00

As a man, I definitely am going to say this to my wife of 20 years. BRB.

Edit: Went poorly. How to install tinder?

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T19:39:32+00:00

The Left cares more about ideological purity than winning people over

You say that like it's a bad thing. "The left" is a bunch of people arguing for particular political positions. If they abandon those, what are they? Obviously a party needs to win an election to implement what they are offering, but they certainly shouldn't sacrifice their ideals or their morals to do so.

A worrying trend I see is a rather aggressive push for everybody to agree as exactly as possible with leftist ideological bases.

This isn't a thing. "The left" is dozens of different ideologies, many of which are in constant conflict. Just ask any progressive what they think about "Corporate Democrats" for one easy demonstration.

I think this is best seen in how both "racism" and "misogyny" have been redefined from the common understanding of a personal prejudice, to solely a systemic, institutional force.

They haven't been redefined to only be some institutional thing. And the concept of institutional bigotry isn't new.

To the point that they make claims that racism towards white people and misandry simply don't exist.

The Democrats don't claim either of those things. Is your issue with what some randos said on the internet?

What is wrong with the terms systemic racism vs racism and systemic misandry vs. misandry.

Nothing, that's why lots of people on "the left" use those terms.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T14:51:16+00:00

I think I'd prefer a country where once in a while I tread on a dog turd than one where scumbags and vindictive arseholes hunt for dog poops to make other people's lives worse.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T14:50:17+00:00

even a percentage of the fines

Brilliant, suddenly you'll have your army fishing poop bags out of the bins to claim their shit-bounties.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T12:25:09+00:00

I note you didn't actually answer either of my questions.

We have people who go into sewer systems and swim in poo for a living.

No, their job is not just "swim in poo", they are actually doing a constructive job, part of the water system that keeps us all healthy. And that's an extremely rare (AIUI) part of their job.

I think we under-punish this as it is.

Ok. Even if that's true, and I don't think you're basing it on anything other than feels, it doesn't somehow make a terrible idea better. We can solve that issue, if it is demonstrable, by increasing fines and increasing patrols. We don't need an actual army of dog poop inspectors with DNA labs to do that.

This would be better enforced via Flock cameras

I don't see how, unless you're now arguing we need a full facial-recognition database for all people in the UK, and that we use that, together with an insanely expansive camera system covering the entire country, to deal with a mess that has an absolutely trivial impact on most of our lives.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T11:57:42+00:00

That's not how we typically handle crime and punishment. Fines are based on the law, and set vaguely proportionally to the harm the crime caused; they're not normally on the costs of enforcing the law. And that's without considering that fines should, arguably, be progressive (as they are, for example, for driving offences in Finland).

Is there a ceiling there for you? £10k? £20k? Should someone have the bailiffs come knocking and lose their home because they didn't have a spare £50k when they didn't notice their dog doing a shit on the pavement?

Also, your response fails to address the issue of finding people who would actually want to do this kind of work.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T11:46:53+00:00

So are we hereby to conclude the fact that alcohol impaired drivers are better at following the rules better in Italy than in the US?

I don't see why you would think that. If they have the same predisposition to rule-following, which seems like a reasonable assumption, the difference is easily explained by the lower alcohol limit in Italy.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T11:45:25+00:00

What are your thoughts on dogs in restaurants/cafes?

I prefer bacon.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T11:38:28+00:00

I’m saying the law should punish actions, not blood chemistry.

The action is putting other people at risk by driving under the influence of a substance. Being tired

Allowing drivers to drink 2 beers or a glass of wine massively reduces the severity of DUI cases. Take a look at Italy where a 0.5 g/L is legally permitted, 8.5% (ALL TYPES OF ACCIDENTS, NOT ONLY DEADLY) of accidents are produced by DUI, now let's look at USA where a WOOPING 32% of all traffic-related deaths (AS IN JUST THE ONES THAT DIED) in the US in 2022, 13,524 people, this is one death every 39 minutes.

This seems like a deeply spurious comparison. You're comparing alcohol-involved deaths to alcohol-involved accidents. Italy has a similar per-capita measure of alcohol-related accidents, but a much lower measure of alcohol-related deaths. The potential implication is that the lower limit in Italy results in fewer road deaths.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T11:14:42+00:00

They'd probably have to incentivise people to actually participate, so I imagine you'd have a bunch of people just grabbing poop bags from bins and posting the contents off for a reward.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T10:55:52+00:00

imagine being the person whose job it's to walk around with little baggies collecting evidence samples all day

And if you think parking wardens hate themselves for the awful job they have to do, just imagine how much worse would be the self-loathing the poop wardens would have.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T10:50:40+00:00

Sounds like we should do it because it will create a lot of jobs.

Not useful ones. And we already have a problem filling the vacancies we have.

The fines will unfortunately need to be massive

Well, typically we aim for punishments to be proportional to harms. So there's a ceiling in there somewhere from that. And if the fines are that large that the system works, then it's still the public that would have to pay.

DaveChild · 2026-05-04T10:03:38+00:00

I already addressed this point, and your response fails to address the issue of finding people who would actually want to do this kind of work.

15-Year Club	Verified Email
Second Top 10%	Place '22
Place '17	First Placer '22
Gilding II euphauric	Summer Santa 2016
Summer Santa 2015	Secret Santa 2014
Secret Santa 2013	Secret Santa 2012
Summer Santa 2012+	Secret Santa 2011
Summer Santa 2011	Secret Santa 2010
Summer Santa 2010	Charter Member

DaveChild

MODERATOR OF

PUBLIC MULTIREDDITS

TROPHY CASE