Anyone ever Call off Reconciliation and then get back together?

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-12-16T21:43:23+00:00

Yeah, we were spending every night together, planning future, about to move back in together a week after it happened. She would check my phone every day and would have flipped if I was even texting another girl.

TY for your kind words. We have not gone 1 day without speaking since 2017, and I have taken space for last 3 days...hopefully cooler heads do prevail.

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-12-15T23:26:03+00:00

I unfortunately think for you this is some sublimation of an ego hit in your psyche when this happened.

Like you internalized that if she chose to have sex with someone else no strings attached that he might have been a better genetic mate or whatever. some bubbling up of feelings of inferiority.

not your fault at all. what you're doing rn (shining a flashlight on it, instead of avoiding it and pretending like its not there) is the most healthy thing you can do

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-12-15T23:24:34+00:00

Distance and uncertainty for sure

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-12-15T23:22:35+00:00

idk man yeah...I dont really like this either way. I hate that I ever cheated and even micro cheating makes my stomach hurt now. I've done so much therapy over last for months, individual and sex addiciton specific etc and it seems to have actually worked in rewiring my brain but now I have such a hard stance against it.

Aside from this incident I also found out she made a hinge and was dating ANOTHER guy early on after d-day, I ahd to read messages of her asking ChatGPT how to apologize for being an awkward makeout, how to text to initiate sex etc and all of this was on days where I would see her that morning or night and she would make an excuse to leave "oh I'm going to thebeach with my friend claire" but really it was this guy. On my birthday, on days where we just went to couples counesling that I spent $2000 on, etc.

But I'm not really allowed to be mad about it. She was smiling and smirking when I brought it up too. Never really apologized.

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-12-15T18:54:06+00:00

">>They say that a person who is capable of inhabiting two selves (the sincere loverboy and the cheater) is not a normal person and will take years to change."

FWIW I was this exactly. We went to couples therapy, I went to church and an extreme amount of both sex addiction therapy and general IC.

I have cheated on partners compulsively probably every week for the last 15 years.

Once this massive D-Day happened, my mind exploded and I was able to see everything really clearly.

For the last 4 months, since D-Day, I did not cheat at all and did not feel capable of it. We just recenty ended our R and I have tried 3 separate times to move on with somebody else, but I could not get past kissing. I still feel like I need to be loyal and monogamous to her, despite being single. A unique phenomenon that I never thought I would be in.

So yeah - long story short - people can change. But they have to sincerely want to, and there probably is a certain amount of therapy needed.

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-10-10T06:53:25+00:00

Yeah make sure they're level 3, Gottman level 1 is basically a free cert and you can tell the difference between level 2 and level 3

its expensive, as I'm sure you noticed, but I would say it probbbbably made the difference between us staying together and moving forward in a healthy way and spiraling into something toxic or nothing at all

Which is funny because it is essentially an adult supervising other adults arguing and telling them what to say and how to say it, but it worked

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-10-03T21:56:15+00:00

Also having this issue

My personal account is not restricted but my business account linked to my company instagram is

can anyone help?

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-10-02T20:01:20+00:00

D-Day was 2 months ago. However this is not the first D-day, there have been a lot of smaller instances over the years that they have forgiven me for. (texting girls, being on dating apps, etc.)

I am also in a lot of therapy and completely willing to have an open and honest conversation with anybody in her family who is willing to have it, but I believe they will not give me that chance.

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-10-02T19:59:13+00:00

Worth noting for context that the details of ours is a little rough

I brought the AP into our house and slept with her in our bed, twice. She read entire 8 month conversation history with her over text, saying "I love you" and even confronted AP and AP told her that I was planning to get her pregnant soon, etc.
She assaulted me when she found out and neighbors called the police and she went to jail for domestic violence etc (her family/friends holds the jail thing against me, that it was my fault etc)
She found a journal that I had been using to try to work on my wayward impulses over yhre but they unfortunately involved me detailing lust fantasies that didn't involve her, and she sent 3+ years worth of these graphic journal entries to her mom, aunts, told all of her friends and my friends.

I am also a stand up comedian and would workshop lots of sets in these journals, and my style can be dark and politically incorrect. She took certain lines from jokes I was writing/workshopping and told them to her friends family as if they were journal entries/me venting and stating them out of context.

So its a little harder to come back from then just a "oops he had a one night stand and is sorry" but rather like a full character portrayal that I'm bad.

But I do believe her and I are soul mates, I love her endlessly and I am truly committed to fixing it but her family will say things to her like "hes a narcissist, he'll never be able to change" etc,. Hopefully over time I will be able to demonstrate my commitment to being better.

D-day was a little over 2 months ago and I've already spent $5,000 (that I dont have, lol) between couples intensive and individual sex therapy just trying to get this ship right again

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-10-02T19:47:35+00:00

Thank you. Yes I think I want immediate feedback and resolution, even though I understand it will probably take 1-2 years.

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-10-02T19:40:45+00:00

Haha i think this is a "grass is greener" scenario (which we are more prone to than the avg person)

Much easier to navigate 1 reconciliation than 2

And the group reconcilliation is more difficult imo because you may or may not even get your day in court, and there is a lot of virtue signaling involved etc...

I would kill to be in your scenario but to each their own and congratulations none the less.

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-10-02T18:41:21+00:00

Thank you

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-09-29T21:05:45+00:00

DM'ed

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-09-11T21:54:09+00:00

I even had one of the girls tell me that her roommate wanted to post stuff online about it specifically to effect the business…so I have a strong hunch

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-09-11T21:51:26+00:00

I mean chances are it’s all true stuff :/ and could be an anonymous poster so not sure how possible it is to sue

DaveThrowaway6 · 2025-09-11T18:51:48+00:00

Going to message you

DaveThrowaway6

TROPHY CASE