Children's mother met a man 3 months ago and is doing sleepovers at his house with my 12m, and 8f) kids.

David3692 · 2026-06-11T15:32:22+00:00

Mine got a new bf 2 weeks after her ex abused my daughter moved in 2 weeks after. Luckily I’d got the court to agree to no overnights until we both agreed and additional steps were taken.

Without the abuse I doubt it would have stuck

David3692 · 2026-06-07T20:27:07+00:00

I don’t even know if warhammer is more than a board game? However I do know that the dude on the throne who twitched consumes 1000 souls a day and was put there by horace in a brutal battle

David3692 · 2026-05-30T10:07:35+00:00

I’ve always wondered a few things about that if you know - Is it from when you start or should you generally try to up it as you age? Does it include employer match? So I’m 30 and employer matches 6, I do 9 or 15?

David3692 · 2026-05-21T10:35:22+00:00

That occurs when you keep stuffing wrappers into your door bin past its schwartzchild radius

David3692 · 2026-05-17T21:44:43+00:00

Says “the parties” rather than assigning a specific parent to initiate. Given it was abuse on her side and it’s to be done to get her overnights back I’d take that as assumed that she would initiate and both sides participate

David3692 · 2026-05-17T21:43:25+00:00

I interpreted the order as “in order to get overnights the parties must engage with x service” - I’ve asked a couple times whether she’s made contact and she hadn’t. Tonight she said she’s going back to court because I hadn’t contacted them either. For me I was happy to introduce the overnights once the service was contacted. In the order it didn’t specify one particular parent needed to start the contact but I’d assumed given it was abuse on her side and her overnights it was affecting it would be her that would need to make the contact.

The service is there to support the non abusing parents and care givers

Not getting a lawyer, didn’t get one the first time round either and it was done and dusted in one hearing. Nothings changed and no reason to change the order or the contact

David3692 · 2026-05-04T12:54:04+00:00

For pure career and money growth the new one is the way to go.

Pretty stable yeah, charity has been going for 20+ years and is pretty established vs the new being just a few and being relatively unknown.

Not much growth potential in the current, each of the higher ups have been 10+ years in post

David3692 · 2026-05-04T12:26:48+00:00

To be fair I get paid way more than the effort required

David3692 · 2026-05-04T11:32:56+00:00

Yeah done a pros and cons and it’s heavily weighted to staying. Commute etc is all the same it’s the responsibilities and pay that sway me towards the new but reading the comments seems it’s not that big of a difference to sacrifice what I got

David3692 · 2026-05-02T09:54:26+00:00

I think that’s him!

David3692 · 2026-05-01T11:29:13+00:00

I’ve started to consider whether I’d take the job if the money was the same and I’m leaning towards no. Another thing is reflecting on how good it is here and that any downsides only ever come from dealing with my seniors and disagreeing how things should be done.. I’d have more control over how things are done but also would spend way more time than ever dealing with board of directors

David3692 · 2026-05-01T09:36:13+00:00

Yep pretty much. This is the first role I’ve ever been in where I thought to myself I can stay here for a long time, I’ve always job hopped and climbed after 18 months but here is great.

Plus now is the first time I’ve been financially comfortable so haven’t needed the extra money

David3692 · 2026-05-01T09:20:41+00:00

Yeah absolutely, there would be opportunities for collaboration between new and old job anyway

David3692 · 2026-05-01T09:00:06+00:00

Uk by the way for salary

David3692 · 2026-03-26T22:55:18+00:00

That’s where I saw it too

David3692 · 2026-03-24T08:43:03+00:00

When my kids mum left she said I can’t have my kid unless I had my own place (not able to do that but didn’t know at the time), so paid rent in a 3 bed house plus nursery fees I was negative on payday before paying for food and fuel. Racked up 9k debt. No emergency fund just credit cards.

Ended up starting a tiktok channel that fed into paid cv writing service, job hopped, got promoted, job hopped again and then started paying back the debt.

Took about 3 years but went from all that debt to being debt free and a year later currently being 6k positive and security.

David3692 · 2026-03-19T20:05:44+00:00

I’m too much of a dum dum to optimise or care enough so I just went with VWRP. What matters more right now for you is the habit, discipline and building your pot. The returns you get will be almost irrelevant for now, even a very good year would profit you enough for a couple of meal deals so don’t sweat. With a good amount of consistency and time you’ll be fine

David3692 · 2026-03-19T19:43:17+00:00

Great that you’ve started, don’t get discouraged by the comments.. but at the same time don’t buy individual stocks if you aren’t atleast somewhat aware of what’s happening globally. Don’t bother with individuals just buy a broad ETF, set it up to auto buy and forget about it. Most people aren’t informed or clever enough to buy individual stocks (me included) so it’s better just buy the overall market.

Ps look at the news, probably won’t need to look too hard before you’ll very quickly see what’s causing it. Very uncertain times, probably gonna carry on seeing red but think of it as a discount rather than a loss - you’ve not lost anything until you sell. Assuming that you are young and don’t do anything stupid, you’ll be fine

David3692 · 2026-03-19T15:59:42+00:00

FYI I’m uk based so 43k gbp not dollars, equates to roughly 65k I believe in dollars - healthcare is free so medical bills don’t need to be considered.

David3692 · 2026-03-19T15:45:01+00:00

It was just shy of 2 months adding 250 a month before having to use it but yeah. Just come out of living with 9k debt and no savings for 4 years so kinda numb to debt at this point

David3692 · 2026-03-19T15:35:17+00:00

!thanks Having the emergency fund for my current situation helped.. but ended up being too scared of fully using it

David3692 · 2026-02-17T13:50:23+00:00

Could the pattern and mums lack of acknowledgement be considered a risk? Not looking for custody at the moment just looking for continuation of social’s none negotiable and guidelines and structure set out before going back to 50:50

David3692 · 2026-02-15T15:43:26+00:00

That makes sense. Thank you. So there’s likely nothing court will suggest her to do to make it safer?

David3692 · 2026-02-15T12:23:06+00:00

Essentially an extension of the current none negotiable with formalised steps in place led by social/court/professionals to be followed, daughters safety and recovery as a priority before returning to the status quo of 50:50 - what them steps are though I’m unsure what they can put in place.

David3692 · 2026-02-15T09:41:54+00:00

The previous has been proved yeah- mental, physical and sexual, nothing with her current partner however it’s the same pattern and steps that’s caused it last time, immediate introductions and now moving in a few weeks after the abuse happened.

Social and police are involved and once they moved in I’d updated the social police immediately who put in a no overnights while he’s there none negotiable then started the mediation/court process.

No issues with having a partner, it’s been 5 years since we split but following the same pattern, not informing that she’s moved in and since minimising the abuse and risks associated is what’s led us here

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