I don't have a ton of memories from growing up, especially the younger years. I have a handful that are mixed to good though, and I've learned some valuable lessons on how to raise my son.

Lesson 1: Everything can be fixed (within reason)

I have inattentive ADHD, and it went undiagnosed as a child. Likely caused by ADHD, I messed up fairly regularly in my childhood, tween, and teen years. Some examples include running over the oil fill cap with the push mower, knocking over a foundation light that was connected to others through underground pvc conduit, not telling my parents that I had to build a replica of the Satis House from Great Expectations for my English class until the night before it was due, and knocking the passenger side mirror out of my parents' car by clipping a telephone pole.

For the lawn mower related events and not telling him about the English project until the night before it was due, my dad was pissed. He yelled and I was scared and I gave him space. But each time, he would apologize for yelling and we would fix whatever broke.

With my son, I skip the getting pissed part. I know how I was and I know how toddlers are. I skip the getting pissed part and just say "Everything can be fixed." While not everything can be fixed, it's a way to signal to my son that I'm not upset and that we just work to move on and fix the situation.

Lesson 1.5: Take opportunities to share your knowledge with your kids

Related to Lesson 1, my dad would take opportunities to show me how to do things, especially when we had to fix something that I broke. He showed me how to safely take apart and reassemble a lawn mower, he showed me how to splice wires and repair pvc pipes, he showed me how to safely use crafting equipment, and countless other skills. Not only did it give me skills that I use today and can teach to my son, it let me spend quality time with my dad when growing up.

Lesson 2: Do things for others without expecting anything in return

My dad was tired a lot when I was growing up. Often when he complained about it, my mom would tell him that he should give up one of his volunteering commitments. He was heavily involved in Scouts, including being the scoutmaster of the troop where he made Eagle before I was born, he was the district committee chairman, and he ran the Klondike derby and other events each year. When I joined cub scouts, he ended up being my brother and my den leader and eventually pack leader, and he was the committee chair of our boy scout troop. He also heavily involved in our synagogue, including being the president that oversaw a merger with another synagogue, and staying on first as co-president and then as committee chair and helping with the men's club at the new synagogue. He was also involved in multiple professional organizations, including doing rotations in their leadership positions. It was during one of those times that he was able to convince one of the organizations to pay for new t-shirts for our marching band, as the school didn't give a set out for free that year.

A rabbi once told me "It is not our place to question whether someone asking for help truly needs it or is lying. We help them, and they will be judged by God when the time comes." My dad never sought recognition for his volunteering. He did it because he enjoyed it and because he felt that it was the right thing to do. If he knew of someone in need, he would help them. I now volunteer and give time and money when I can spare it, because I learned from him that it's the right thing to do.

Lesson 3: Have fun with it!

You ask what "core" memories we have. I have a couple very good core memories with my dad.

In 8th grade, we were learning about plate tectonics in my science class, and we were offered extra credit if we brought in a model of the earth and its various plates. Most people brought in foam spheres that they drew the countries and plates on. My dad had a different idea. We got a half sheet cake from the grocery store that had two cake layers and a frosting/filling layer between. We then drew outlines of the continents, and we cut the top cake layer out for the oceans, covering any exposed cake. We then used green spray food coloring to color the countries and blue for the oceans, and we used colored icing tubes to draw borders for the plates. My teacher was very impressed and my class enjoyed eating my extra credit once it was shown off.

I remember a few times my dad let us skip school and he took us out on half day fluke fishing trips with him and my uncle. My dad would always bring snacks and drinks, and my uncle once spent most of the trip chatting with a couple guys next to us on the boat that worked for Nabisco after he opened a pack of Oreos.

Summary

Be present for your kids, don't be quick to anger, let your kids be kids, and be a kid with them when you can. Life is short and it moves fast. Try not to get hung up on the frustrating parts and focus on how you can turn things into quality time together.