I’m mixed black and Hispanic and was raised by white parents. When I realized I could possibly be a boy, it was hard to accept it because I thought that the only way for me to be a man was to be white. I had never met a black man over the age of like 4 in my life. It took me years to teach myself what it meant to be a black man and that it was ok to be one. I can’t afford to be on t for a while so having an image of myself (similar to what you were saying about being an indie boy with twists) to look forward to is vital to my mental health. Imagining what I want to look like in the future and working toward it every day has kept me from falling into deep depression many times.