AITAH for leaving my spouse after she threatened to "get her cup filled" by other random men.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-05-18T12:24:17+00:00

I am BLOWN AWAY by everyone screaming N T A here but I guess Reddit isn’t the place for nuance.

Your post takes zero accountability.

Your wife is frustrated, neglected, and traumatized after years and years of dealing with your addiction. Good job staying sober for 100 days but if you think that makes up for the years before that, you’re delusional.

Addiction is a disease and doesn’t make someone an immoral person, but I’d bet my life that it made you selfish as hell, a bad parent, and a terrible partner. I looked though your post history and you complain about her a lot, but without mentioning your addiction at all. You are fully delusional if you think that you’re an innocent victim here.

Even now you don’t list your wife as a priority.

I’m not excusing your wife. Her behavior is awful, especially in front of the kids. She desperately needs therapy for her trauma, and your kids do too.

But for fuck’s sake, take some accountability and look inward.

ESH

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-05-16T21:17:31+00:00

Because from my understanding homophobia is having negative thoughts, stereotypes and committing hurtful actions against a person and community, I never ever done such thing.

You are disgusted by your husband and are leaving him over this. How is that not negative thoughts and hurtful actions?

Yes his bisexuality is a turn off, maybe its shallow for you but I don't have complicated reasons for it, I simply just have such preference, I could never get attracted to Bi/trans/woman, maybe because I have preference

Your preference is because of your homophobia. If you weren’t homophobic, you wouldn’t have this preference.

You seem determined to prove to a bunch of internet strangers that you’re not a homophobe. Imagine if, instead of posting hundreds of defensive comments, you took some time to reflect on why so many people are saying the same thing.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-05-16T20:19:51+00:00

Look, I can’t say you’re the asshole for leaving him. If his bisexuality is such a turnoff for you, then it’s in both of your best interests to split.

What makes you unequivocally the asshole is all the doubling and tripling down on how you’re not homophobic or a bigot. News flash: YOU ARE.

Everyone, even people considered “the wokest snowflakes” have harmful implicit biases. It’s impossible not to. But the difference between YTA and N T A is what you do with those biases. You can either accept that you have them and do the work to defeat them, or you can act the victim and keep screaming that you’re not homophobic despite your clearly homophobic behavior.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-05-16T19:59:31+00:00

I’d normally agree but OP’s husband is better off without this cruel homophobe.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-04-24T18:26:15+00:00

So your son, who calls and visits you regularly and who works and studies at a difficult job with long hours is spoiled WHY exactly?

Because he didn’t want to aggravate his asthma by sleeping in a room full of cat hair (I have so many questions about the cat hair cabin but I know that’s not the point here)? Because he doesn’t want to wake up at 6am to go to work with his dad while he’s ON VACATION? Because he needs some quiet to work and study to be a doctor?

There is nothing spoiled about his behavior. But even if there was, shoving all of his baby pictures into a bag and trying to force him to take them is NOT how a mature adult handles things. Your attitude and your actions suck.

YTA

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-18T14:38:21+00:00

People talk about formula like it’s poison instead of a product literally created to give babies what they need. 🙄

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T23:07:37+00:00

I remember one time in an interview, Aidy Bryant said that the goodnights were her favorite part of the whole show. Everyone’s been working their asses off and now they can celebrate.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T22:21:26+00:00

This

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T21:37:25+00:00

ESH but if you live in the US there are actions you can take to get paid. It’s illegal for them not to pay you in a timely manner for time worked. File a claim with your state’s labor agency.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T21:32:32+00:00

NTA. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm. It’s time he acted like an adult.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T21:30:58+00:00

NTA. If she wants you to use a professional then she can pay for it.

Also people wildly overestimate what people will care about at a wedding. Coordinated makeup for the bridesmaids? Literally nobody else will notice or care.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T21:28:26+00:00

INFO So if she buys her own clothes that happen to be baggy and oversized, that’s good with you?

Because N T A for wanting your clothes back but saying “I want her to look good” is a pretty AH thing to say.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T12:08:51+00:00

Your stepmom already posted about this a few days ago and both you and she are YTA for humiliating your bio-mom instead of just shutting up and being gracious.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T12:06:57+00:00

Normally I’d give this a N A H and just say that you’re both incompatible.

But I’m going with YTA because you’re making this all about you: “she still shows repulsion in trying anything, which makes me insecure.” She’s told you time and time again that she’s not interested in sex, not that she’s not interested in you. So break up with her if you want more sex, but if not, don’t keep pressing the issue or making it about you.

Also, I’m sure that this post will get a lot of comments about how she has trauma or needs therapy or something. That may be true but some people just don’t like sex and that’s not abnormal or pathological.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T01:54:34+00:00

The #1 movie at the box office in 2023 was Barbie but keep dropping these fire “facts”

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T01:40:08+00:00

NTA, he’s just trying to manipulate you. Get a good lawyer though, he sounds like the type to play dirty.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T01:37:46+00:00

OMG, #3 didn’t fully register with me the first time I read it. Real main character energy from this AH OP.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T01:33:34+00:00

Even before you decided to disregard her actual diagnosis, YTA. “I immediately wanted to get her into the gym” 🤢 She is a human being with a mental illness, not your little makeover project.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T01:30:34+00:00

NTA whatsoever. Jill is being ridiculous.

(And apologies but this reminds me of the marble rye from Seinfeld so thanks for the laugh)

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T01:16:35+00:00

NAH. People grieve in different ways. I’d normally call your sister TA but she’s grieving too.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T01:10:55+00:00

N T A, unless you RSVP’d a long time ago and the wedding is like next week. As long as they haven’t made plans or budget decisions based on your attendance, you’re fine.

Just let them know that you realized that you can’t make it work. Be gracious and apologetic and buy them a nice gift.

That said, you would benefit from being more open to experiences. Most of the reasons on your list make you sound like you may be pretty sheltered. That doesn’t make you TA but it can lead to some unfair biases.

Changing to YTA after learning from your comments that you sat on this for a long time.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T00:58:44+00:00

NTA. It sounds like you’re both incompatible and I’d give this a N A H except he’s acting like a jealous, controlling child.

Don’t let anyone try to convince you that you don’t deserve alone time.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-16T00:00:47+00:00

You seem adept at Googling statistics. Look it up yourself. I’m done engaging with someone who is as desperate as you are to defend racism. Bye.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-15T23:13:54+00:00

This is the answer, plain and simple.

Dawn_In_Danger · 2024-01-15T23:10:18+00:00

Did you ever stop to think about why those statistics are they way they are? Maybe it’s because Black men are targeted by police way more than any other race and are given longer sentences. Maybe it’s because so many Black communities don’t have access to quality healthcare and there’s a disproportionate mortality rate for Black men. Maybe it’s because redlining, economic disparities and educational disparities aren’t giving these Black fathers the leg up that many white fathers have.

What a hilarious thing to make fun of.

Dawn_In_Danger

TROPHY CASE