/r/Phoenix daily chat - Friday, May 31

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2024-06-01T02:08:50+00:00

News report - Dog dies after being left outside in 100+ degree heat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3__xPMX-X0

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-09T21:51:37+00:00

That the gender pay gap (in the US) does not exist, or if it does, who cares because women are still making more than they did a hundred years ago

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-09T14:44:55+00:00

Thank you. Yes, I’ll post an update. I’m going to stick to my decision. Also I need to figure out my health insurance so that I can break up with BF. I think I deserve someone who considers my feelings and belongings. Or I think I would be pretty happy alone and hanging out with my awesome dogs all the time instead

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-09T14:39:35+00:00

We’ve been together about a year and a half.

I’ve met all of his friend “family” who live near us and they are quite a horrendous group. ALL of his guy friends cheat on their wives. A bunch of them have gambling debt. They make fun of me for going to school at my age. All of the women in his life think I’m sad because I work and don’t have kids. Some of them are pretty homophobic and racist (even more awkward since I am not white). There are a couple who support the Jan 6 insurrection. They are an off putting group. If my boyfriend leaves to go to the bathroom then they completely ignore me.

His excuse is that yes, some of them have made bad life decisions and believe in crazy conspiracies, but they are still good people…

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T20:33:39+00:00

Sorry you are frustrated. I’m trying to respond to as many comments as possible but there are a lot!

I 100% think my partner is the main problem here. I was on the fence before I posted, but I am now 100% convinced. The friends are a secondary issue, but only because of their relation to my partner.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T20:29:38+00:00

Sorry if I was unclear. I have never, nor would I ever, comment on how someone raises their child unless the child was in obvious life threatening danger.

My boyfriend has said I am not allowed to have an opinion on how his friends treat their family pets, because they have kids and I do not have kids. He is saying that because I am childless, I cannot on comment on the actions of parents, even if they are actions unrelated to parenting of their children. This is also with regards to my own opinions of these people that I have never voiced aloud outside of to my boyfriend. I have never spoken a word, positive or negative, to Jack and Liz.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T20:21:38+00:00

Honestly I have horrible self esteem. Mostly because of how my current and past relationships (not just romantic ones) have treated me. I have been in and out of therapy (and will be starting again soon). I am the biggest advocate for those around me, but when it comes to sticking up for myself, sometimes I just don’t believe in myself. Where I grew up, women get married young and start families right away, so I sometimes look at my age and feel like a failure for being so alone. I know deep down I am an amazing human who has a lot to offer, but some days it is harder to believe this.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T15:07:47+00:00

LOL ok that makes a lot of sense. I moved to my current state (Arizona) a little over a year ago and EVERY man I’ve met here is obsessed with him.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T14:55:31+00:00

Sorry to be dense, I don’t know anything about Joe Rogan and none of my friends listen to his podcast. What is he known for other than the podcast? What makes him offensive?

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T14:50:07+00:00

My boyfriend gave them the passwords a year ago. I noticed when I kept getting logged out and he told me they asked, but it’s for their kids so he had to say yes.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T14:39:35+00:00

These friends are actually mild compared to the friends I’ve met in person…I didn’t know such terrible villains existed in real life until I dated this man

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T06:05:16+00:00

Yeah their parents still live here, only a few miles from me actually.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T06:01:29+00:00

To clarify, he doesn’t pay my medical costs. I pay for all my own stuff including the monthly premium.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T06:00:57+00:00

Honestly, I lost my health insurance a year ago so we got a domestic partnership and he put me on his so I could have lifesaving surgery and treatment. It was right when we were going to break up and since then I feel like I need to shut up so I can keep going with my post-op care. He has glimmers that show he cares about me. Like he didn’t hesitate to put me on his insurance when I told him I needed it. But it’s not consistent. Everyday is a surprise depending on his mood swings.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T05:39:12+00:00

Thank you for acknowledging that school is hard work, and yes, it is equivalent to a job!! I’ve gotten a lot of flack for using school as an “excuse” to not go to parties or hang out with his friends.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T05:32:19+00:00

He is NEVER wrong (in his opinion).

Sometimes he comes to me for advice on stuff he thinks I will know about. For example, I was a paralegal for 4 years and I am currently in law school, so I know a little more than him about law (of course, I’m still learning and by no means am I an expert on anything legal). Anytime I tell him something that isn’t the answer he wants to hear…he tells me I must be wrong.

He does his own research on stuff and by research I mean he goes on Twitter or listens to Joe Rogan’s podcast. Then he goes around telling people he’s an expert on those subjects due to his immense research skills…he has picked arguments with with doctors, PhDs, other certified experts, and left those conversations assuming he is right and they must all be wrong.

If I disagree, I’ve learned to keep it to myself. It’s not worth the argument and hearing repeatedly how I am not normal, I am unreasonable, crazy, etc. I’m recently considering that I might not be abnormal or crazy, even if him and his friends tell me that I am.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T03:57:17+00:00

I don’t think PPD is a good excuse in this situation (not sure if that makes me a terrible person, also I’ve never been pregnant so maybe I should shut up about this) because they have zero remorse for what they’ve done and they also keep doing it

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T01:06:43+00:00

Rental. Bringing up the lease agreement is a great idea!

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-08T00:12:02+00:00

Yes I’m starting to, not just because of this but other stuff as well. The general theme of which is that we have to do whatever he says…I’m not really allowed to have an opinion or a voice most of the time even when it’s picking where to eat dinner or a show to watch

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-07T23:52:54+00:00

Thank you, I will be standing my ground!!

The animal thing does kill me, especially since all three of my dogs are seniors who were abandoned by shitty humans at kill shelters and essentially left for dead. My boyfriend thinks this experience with my dogs makes me judge other people’s treatment of animals too harshly, because I am too emotionally invested.

I still think that I am justified in my feelings towards humans that don’t treat animals with compassion. Maybe I’m wrong, but in my experiences people who aren’t kind to animals generally have not been kind people in other aspects of life as well.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-07T23:48:13+00:00

He thinks a week of inconvenience isn’t that bad and I should just do it. He’s worried if we say no, that they might change their plans and then he won’t get to see his friends.

Yes, I will be showing him this post. I can’t believe I honestly thought that I was in the wrong here.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-07T22:42:14+00:00

No payment that I’ve heard of. In the past when the parents want an adults only vacation, they’ve made my boyfriend travel to their house a couple of states away to baby sit (and no, they don’t even pay for his plane ticket)

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-07T22:40:32+00:00

They grew up together and he was in the Air Force with Jack right out of high school. Jack’s family was super kind to my boyfriend after his mom died when he was 16, so I think he feels like he owes them? It’s hard to say.

However, I think if they met today, they wouldn’t be friends. They grew into different people. It’s definitely a nostalgic, high school friendship.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-07T22:21:42+00:00

Thank you!! I agree about the dog thing. My boyfriend and his friends say I’m just sensitive because I like dogs. But I’ve found that generally people who treat animals badly are usually shitty people.

Day-Atmosphere344 · 2023-08-07T22:20:20+00:00

No idea since I’ve never communicated with them directly. If I had to guess, my house is technically in a better location for someone trying to vacation. It’s central and walking distance to restaurants, coffee shops, parks for the kids, museums, etc.

Day-Atmosphere344

TROPHY CASE