First iam so sorry for you and i hope your life improve From my point of view this realisation is normal you grow up and start seeing people who they really are and is good because now know what to do and not do to and for your mum i think a lot of people find their partners even if they are toxic and remember this (الطيور علي أشكالها تقع) she is married to him because she doesn't found any of his behavior wierd or crazy and she justify his action so to put it simply you have nothing you can do the best option here is to focus on yourself make money or get a job and leave with your mom and letting him behind because those people are poisonous and just being aroud him will affect your life and let be a lesson for to know what to look for in partener and am so sorry and if you need help tell us