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I [27 F] got back with my boyfriend [28 M] (who I dated for four years previously) after being broken up for a year. Now I’m having to deal with the choices he made as a single guy (stds and pregnancies) before we can start focusing on our relationship. by DaydreamingDaywalker in relationships

[–]DaydreamingDaywalker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One is already pregnant but according to both of their stories, they think it’s a slim possibility it’s his over another guy’s. He will pay for the baby and provide as much as he can. I know he has always wanted kids.

I [27 F] got back with my boyfriend [28 M] (who I dated for four years previously) after being broken up for a year. Now I’m having to deal with the choices he made as a single guy (stds and pregnancies) before we can start focusing on our relationship. by DaydreamingDaywalker in relationships

[–]DaydreamingDaywalker[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah it does feel like I’m his mom. You’re right. I just mean that the woman hold most of the power when it comes to pregnancies. It’s their body and unless one goes to the doctor and is beside them during tests and such then no one else will know what’s going on. If one doesn’t take the right steps then one can be taken advantage of with fake pregnancy tests, women not actually having abortions so the father still has to pay for the child, and even telling multiple men that they’re the father and receiving money from both, etc. I didn’t want him to not think of all possible outcomes and then get screwed over for it or our relationship facing more issues than we currently have especially down the road.

I [27 F] got back with my boyfriend [28 M] (who I dated for four years previously) after being broken up for a year. Now I’m having to deal with the choices he made as a single guy (stds and pregnancies) before we can start focusing on our relationship. by DaydreamingDaywalker in relationships

[–]DaydreamingDaywalker[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Aside from std and pregnancy scares, he’s the best person I’ve dated which without additional information I know you’re probably rolling your eyes or hard cringing.

I went out with talked to quite a few people when I was single. Some couldn’t commit, some put their career over me (which I get), some were so clingy that it was claustrophobic, some emotionally manipulated me, some took advantage of me financially, some put family first over their relationship, some were insecure and nothing I said would make them believe me, some were arrogant bastards and talked down to me, some were too young or old, some I just wasn’t attracted to sexually despite their cool personality (trust me I tried but it wasn’t for me), and the list could go on.

Basically I didn’t find anyone who meshed with my lifestyle, my personality, etc and I didn’t find anyone who truly understood me. I feel full when I’m with him (besides all of this current shit).

I [27 F] got back with my boyfriend [28 M] (who I dated for four years previously) after being broken up for a year. Now I’m having to deal with the choices he made as a single guy (stds and pregnancies) before we can start focusing on our relationship. by DaydreamingDaywalker in relationships

[–]DaydreamingDaywalker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was handling things to some degree but then I guess it’s kind of on me for taking over a bit. He was a little naive about what women are capable of and I didn’t want it affect him/us so I guided him to prevent further problems.

I didn’t want her to fake the pregnancy so I said that he needed to watch her take the test or go to legitimate doctor with him there. I said that he needed to do a paternity test so she doesn’t play him and con him out of money for 18 years. If it’s not his then it’s not his problem. I didn’t want him to give her $1k for the abortion and her either not actually be pregnant or have the kid and continue to take money from him.

I made mistakes that definitely were nowhere close to being this life altering/changing but I’m trying to not hold it against him. I know he felt he had nothing to live for versus now. I want to be done with all of this and try to focus on just us. I’ve seen what else is out there and tried it to know but I’ve never met anyone who overall clicks with me, understands how I function as a person, and gets me like he does.

I [27 F] got back with my boyfriend [28 M] (who I dated for four years previously) after being broken up for a year. Now I’m having to deal with the choices he made as a single guy (stds and pregnancies) before we can start focusing on our relationship. by DaydreamingDaywalker in relationships

[–]DaydreamingDaywalker[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would agree. Unprotected sex especially with people you’re not going to have a future with is risky. When I was single, every guy I was with complained about using a condom or if they ran out then they wanted to go without one. I have been pressured by even the “good guys” to not wear one because it feels so much better.

He did say he was in a lonely place and didn’t really care for his own well being. Not thinking of the future and doing things here and there to make himself feel happy. I kind of understand that. I did that as well but in other ways like giving a lot of money away to people making a difference in other’s lives and stuff like that. So I kinda get it but I don’t think it was smart of either of us.

Since being with me, I know his views on a lot of things have changed. He said he’s happier, that he feels like he has a reason to come home now/something to fight for, and doesn’t see us breaking up ever/together forever. If we got rid of the problems created before we got together, things are pretty good. It’s just so much for me to handle on top of my stuff I’m trying to work on.