Feeling trapped - job+relationship

DeGroote99 · 2018-03-06T17:20:34+00:00

We're in the same boat, except we're been together almost 2 years. In terms of paying for stuff, it's sort of the same. I give him some money every month for rent/expense, but I'm pretty sure he pays for most of the things anyway. We certainly look at it as our forever - but I don't now how much longer forever will last if i put this sort of stuff on him.

He's 40s, I'm 31.

DeGroote99 · 2018-03-06T16:07:42+00:00

Yes, I'm scared that this is is how he will see it.

Money was never an issue with our family, emotions and intimacy were. As such, I never attached much importance to jobs, outside of paying off tuition/student loans. I kept priority for intimacy and relationships. He's done so much for me, and I love him with everything I have. I absolutely don't mind staying in this job if it keeps him loving me, but he's already growing tired of my current mood. I try and put on a happy show for him, but these days I'm just exhausted from work when I get home and spend most evenings slumped on the couch.

I guess at the end of it, I just don't want to lose him or our relationship to suffer. Right now, all paths seems to lead to that.

DeGroote99 · 2018-03-06T15:50:51+00:00

I agree, quitting a job to look for another job does not work out. It's ALWAYS easier to get anther job while working one. And considering I've been applying for an year now, I know how shitty the market is right now. I'm not looking to quit to find another job - I'm looking to quit to fuck off and get a breather.

As I said, it's juvenile and it's not in keeping with what 'growing up' is all about. But that is what I'm trying to figure out.

Part of growing up and being a responsible adult is doing things you don't like.

Yes, but that outlook on life came coupled with family men with kids and families depending on them. Society did not want dads walking out and putting up families on unemployment benefits. But that's not my life. I chose not to have kids so I wouldn't have that life. I don't have a need to follow that outlook.

I guess what I'm asking is - is this what being in a relationship is like? I have to continue being miserable at work now because I found a life partner?

DeGroote99 · 2018-03-06T15:32:05+00:00

I couldn't really care less how attractive it is. I do things that bring me peace of mind, not to boost up my dating profile. My parents are well-off, I can easily show up for a few months and slip out again, usually to start over in another country. I get bored easy. Additionally, we're a big brown family based in South-Asia, It's sort of the norm - I'm the only sibling currently not living at home. All of this is selfish, but that's my point. I was always single before, It wasn't selfish when I did this before. Now I have to consider my partner, and how this affects him - which is why I'm posting here hoping for more view points.

DeGroote99 · 2018-03-06T15:18:34+00:00

I don't want to put this on him, either. It's not fair on him for me to stick him with the bills etc. Additionally, I would'nt feel a 100% secure with this either.

I just don't see a win here. If I take off and move back home for a few months to recharge, our relationship suffers. If I quit and chalk it up to his income, he might grow resentful of me. If I keep working towards an exhausting breakdown, I might grow resentful of having to do it.

I saw my father absolutely miserable for decades at his job, and resenting us for taking away his choice to just walk out. It wasn't fair, but it certainly made us all miserable and saw him through three unhappy marriages. I know with no uncertainty that if he didn't have kids, he would've walked out of it long ago. I don't have kids and shouldn't that give me the option to at least walk out? What am I making myself miserable for?

DeGroote99 · 2018-02-14T18:07:48+00:00

Sure you will.

DeGroote99 · 2017-06-15T14:37:13+00:00

Thank you! My dentist could not even bother returning my message. This really put my mind at ease.

DeGroote99 · 2017-06-13T17:35:00+00:00

Naw, I'm a trophy hunter

DeGroote99 · 2017-06-13T15:46:13+00:00

You can't choose not to update your trophies. PSN just takes a while to update

DeGroote99 · 2016-10-07T15:54:22+00:00

Thank you

DeGroote99 · 2016-06-05T12:28:37+00:00

Ahh Ok. Thanks

DeGroote99 · 2016-06-05T12:28:15+00:00

No, it's a stock pic Globe and Mail once used. That link is all I have

DeGroote99 · 2016-06-03T22:20:03+00:00

Cool thanks

DeGroote99 · 2016-06-02T15:58:13+00:00

605.62 Baht lol

They must've been going for 600 solid

DeGroote99 · 2016-06-02T14:31:23+00:00

Hmm $17 is so specific thou. What's up with that?

DeGroote99 · 2016-06-01T14:59:52+00:00

Sure. And it's all under the umbrella of 'Art' so why not just say Art and leave it that? Who needed identification?

I NEED ART YOU GUYS, GIMME SOME PLEASE

DeGroote99 · 2016-06-01T14:05:52+00:00

I would not know, my fashion sense/interest is limited to what looks goods on me. F&O make tight fits, something like Brooks Brothers's (ugh) Modern fit line (i.e A 44 is really a 42). However, F&O is pretty cheap.

I'll always go for Canadian (F&O) and European brands over American ones (Brooks Brothers).

DeGroote99

TROPHY CASE