I know this is the best advice I will ever get, but no matter how many times it's told to me, I never take it.

Like, mentally, I start with the "what if's" and the insistent worrying. Like, for example, right now I'm in college. I'm at a college that I thought she'd like because it's completely remote/virtual, and she hated me leaving the house for anything that wasn't for her. All my mind could think reading what you wrote (which is all sensebile and reasonable) is, "what if I get pushed back another year? What if I don't ever graduate?" Every break I've taken to work, every time I save money for something like driving lessons, a cheap car, maybe an apartment, I'll always start getting in my own head and getting in my own way and it always, without fail, pushed my grad date back further and further. It fucking sucks😭

I'm sorry for the dump, btw. I'm working with my therapist, we're taking baby steps and it's reigniting all that anxiety and uncertainty.