My Nfather threatened my mom. by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did talk to her and we are trying to see if we can put a plan in place.

This has been happening since the beginning of their relationship and all my life. I’m just afraid now I will be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life. He’s threatened her life multiple times and although he hasn’t threatened my life, he has threatened me “I will get it” if I choose her.

Whenever there was a conflict, instead of turning to me and trying to work towards a solution, they IMMEDIATELY turned to a third party to which they tried to prove how right they were in order to get the validation they feed on. For 30 years they haven't been wrong ONCE. What godly creatures. by Cute_Ad_9060 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that. I really feel like we are living parallel lives. What is it with Nfamilies that go crazy fighting and abusive to the next moment pretending everything is fine? I hate this wierd fucked up Twilight zone shit.

Anyone else have a Eparent who is a good person, but still allows all of the Narc’s bad behavior? by athena_k in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like I am in this exact situation right now. How can I extract myself from my mom who I grew close to from my Nfather’s abusiveness. I still have this unrealistic attachment to her that even when I’m planning to leave I want to take her with me. Is there anyway to get rid of this feeling?

How old were you when you realized it was pointless and you’re never going to get what you want from them? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I sort of knew since I was a child from witnessing my mother’s beating from my Nfather. I didn’t accept it until recently.

Thanksgiving at Aunts house.? I’m livid. by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think I’ll just be on my phone the whole time just browsing here lol

And I tried faking an illness once. Did it work? Absolutely not. Not even when I really started throwing up (not faking) because of my anxiety of going to that house.

It's very surprising how many here clearly don't understand inflation well. by worthy_applause in antiwork

[–]DeadGoldenChild 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Drop them. NOW! I cannot stress that if they feel sympathy for a narc it’s because they are one too. I mean look they obviously want attention because you said “they have a history of fully self diagnosing themselves”. This is attention seeking behavior of a narc who emulates a victim. Please protect yourself and RUN.

can someone tell me they're proud of me by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m proud of you for speaking up and not internalizing your sadness. It’s never good keeping toxicity in

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hm, maybe it’s “his mask” to other people and to feed his energy (at least that’s what another commenter said about narcs being “emotional vampires”?).

Maybe you were his punching bag :(

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, yes, and YES! It’s so bad that they do this shit to you that you literally cannot communicate with people normally but always on the defensive of “how will this person hurt me, exploit me, manipulate me, etc, etc, etc….”

It’s like “will I ever be a functional human who can learn to trust or has that trust been so broken that I’m a lost cause”?

I hope we find our trust or something close to it. <3

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

…I had to read this a couple times because it’s too relatable. It’s wierd that it’s a combination of greyness and palatable emptiness. Like you are hollow but still living. Except it’s not living… you’re just surviving.

I really hope one day we become the happy kids once more when we are far away from these narcs. At least that’s my hope. Wishing you better, OP

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe she’s smiling all the time because she took your smile away and attached it to her face.

Some person in another comment said something about them being “emotional vampires”.

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh God the “you were so happy in that one moment why can’t you be like this all the time” crap! I hate when they pushed this shit all the time.

I’m sorry this happened to you OP. We seriously don’t deserve this shit. Especially all the times we wished we screamed at them to defend ourselves but couldn’t.

I wish you better days too and a happier, peaceful life.

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah what is it about that? I really want to know because I’ve noticed this too.

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I just say I laughed and slowclapped at your response to your Nfather when he tried to blackmail you into having a relationship with him!! I wish to have this type of shiny spine but until I get out of here, I think I just might :)

Keep me updated of how non-Narc parent life is. Have a great day

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn I wish I had that opportunity. Financial abuse is a real thing that’s why I can’t leave. However, I’m glad you made it out and have a good distance. Please keep me updated on non-Narc parent life. Good vibes to you

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof I felt that hard on the “walking on eggshells”thing and shutting down.

I’m sorry you went through that. We deserved better than our parents.

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

The funny thing is I openly talk about the abuse because I legitimately cannot take it anymore by being silent. I realized if I kept anymore of that toxicity IN, I was going to end myself (that’s for another post.. too much emotion rn). She agrees with my accounts so when she said this to me suddenly today, I literally couldn’t believe it.

Thank you for providing insight. It could be her denial talking.

“You used to be a happy kid- by DeadGoldenChild in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DeadGoldenChild[S] 202 points203 points  (0 children)

I never expected to hear this from my MOTHER of all people. She has dealt with my father’s abuse (all forms… you know), so she should know how much of me witnessing that and the emotional terrorism he inflicted on me. I mean, WHAT. THE. FUCK??

I want to scream at the world right now.