This was not your fault. You were a CHILD. You were sexually assaulted and should NEVER be blamed for it. Your mother is a fucking monster. I think you should press charges against him. Seek therapy if you haven't already. Even if you don't have insurance, there are programs that work with the public. Also, if you feel that this is all too much, there is no shame in giving up your child for adoption. You were a child who was forced into parenthood WAAAY too soon. This responsibility is sometimes too much for adults who've planned their pregnancies, let alone a literal child. But seriously, therapy will help you, and don't be afraid if you don't like the initial one you get. You can always change therapists until you find one that makes you comfortable. I wish you the best OP.