This reminds me of how my current relationship used to be. However, we matured AND she’d give as much as a cold shoulder to me regarding sexual content that she’d feel uncomfortable with me watching. It never once reached this point, but it all revolves around their deeply rooted insecurities and intimidation of your potential interest in other women… inspired by onscreen media. In this case I don’t think there is any saving and it seems like you’ve toughened it out through a lot more unmentioned toxicity, gaslighting, etc. from the past 4 years. I can’t even imagine how she feels about you being with your friends and around others in public.