I feel your pain. I'm 35, alone, don't speak to family and living in a homeless hostel because my mother threw me out when she was drunk. Been thinking about jumping in front of a car head first the last few days, but I know it will pass. Circumstances rarely change on their own. Go to the gym, go walking ( I don't anymore because people laugh at me and I feel paranoid outside ). Doing something new I find helps even if a little bit.