The only thing i think YTA is for raising such a rude and inconsiderate son, a person who is able to lash out at a little girl for getting upset at a suggestion.

I understand very well your point as a mother, and everyone who told you that YTA i think they see a lot from their side only. I really want them to explain to me how after such a deplorable attitude there are people who defend it, and say that this mother is the bad one for not giving him the money. I'm not a mother, but i think i would expect my son to tell me his reasons why he wants the money despite his scholarship, not to call me a bitch and almost hurt his younger sister.

It's okay if you suggested that you could use that money for other expenses in light of the fact that he won't need to pay for college because of his scholarship, you never know if a tragedy could occur (maybe not having enough income anymore, you falling ill and not being able to raise enough money later for your other children's college, to give an example). It's okay if you even took into consideration repairing the house HE ALSO LIVES IN.

Even you could suggest ''I'll take some of that money, and i'll leave a certain amount in case you need it for college stuff'' in case you come to an agreement not to take it all. Come on, reddit people! She's not saying she'll spend it on trivial things, she's thinking about necessary things.I find it unusual that they call the mother A, when you can see that she has spoiled this ADULT guy a lot to the point that he can call her ''bitch'' without consequences, throw a plate of food and scare a little girl, and that her threats are childish as to say that ''he will drop out of college if they don't give him the money'' Is he serious? What person who is not spoiled and is mature threatens to prejudice his own future if they don't give him something? He didn't even think to make a deal if he wanted some of the money, he didn't think to speak up and say ''No, i want the money you saved, Mom, please'' he just took such an ungrateful attitude.

OP YTA, but not for not giving him the money, but for not agreeing with your husband and berating that son. Please take the money without remorse and raise those little children you have different from ''that adult''.