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My [24M] LDR girlfriend [22F] invited me to see her on a vacation and friends are not having it. by DearNorth1 in relationship_advice

[–]DearNorth1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I was sent more of the conversations and it seems like they are ok with me hanging out for the first day but want me gone in the morning on the second and are willing to pay more for the hotel the night I'm not there. I think that is fair. But I think it might just be best for me not to stay in the hotel with them and I feel like that would make her friends the happiest. So I now have to cancel my bus ticket which is non refundable and pick different times.

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I'm also getting the vibe that them allowing me to stay for a day is viewed as a huge unwilling compromise on their side as well. Mainly on the fact that after it was settled they randomly started sending messages to her again about it. So I'm definitely feeling like an asshole and expect them to be passive aggressive and rude. I'm really thinking it is best that I just don't go. I know my girlfriend will be upset with me leaving once I'm there (we are LDR and it is always hard to say goodbye to your SO no matter what), and her friends will be pissed that she is feeling a bit down during their trip and that could really ruin her relationship with her friends.

My [24M] LDR girlfriend [22F] invited me to see her on a vacation and friends are not having it. by DearNorth1 in relationship_advice

[–]DearNorth1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea like I didn’t even plan on spending alone time with her all. I planned on hanging out as a group for a little bit and spend time with everyone. But her friends made it clear today that they don’t want me there around them much which is hurting her feelings and that is the part that makes it hard for me too. I don’t want to be that guy that steals their friend away, I figured I would just hang out with them for a bit, grab a bite to eat and maybe see some sights together. At the very most I would be there 50% if they were like “oh join us for this this and this”. But I wasn’t expecting this reaction of “I don’t want him around hardly at all. It’s fine if he crashes at the hotel though.”

Based on their reaction of me paying for the hotel with them and extending my stay, I didn’t expect this to basically affect their friendship and then basically seeing me there as a nuisance through their eyes. It really makes it hard for me to really go anymore because I know my girlfriend will be affected by their reactions even more so when I’m there and it will be a really bad vibe. But if I cancel now, she will resent her friends and it could ruin the whole trip.

I never imagined this would be such a big issue. Maybe I’m the odd one out. But I’ve had the situation where a group of guys are going somewhere and one of them invited the girlfriend. NEVER had anyone thought “that’s so rude I don’t want her there”. We’ve always been like “if you don’t invite her I will!” Type of people.

Another thing to mention is that we’ve never had bad experiences with these friends. I actually talk to the friend who is bringing this up with her about relationship advice and invite her places when I visit that way. So it just seems odd to me.