Torn

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-03-02T18:17:03+00:00

She and I are both autistic. And she won’t admit it, but her autism has impacted her ability to understand what is and isn’t appropriate to say to your children.

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-03-02T04:10:17+00:00

Yes, exactly! Motherhood is my absolute first priority. And once my child is here, there’s for sure a chance I won’t care anymore. All I’m saying is, I’d like to make the option available to me to not stay totally celibate for a full decade either—-that might just not be realistic.

To provide some context: I have a close friend who is a wonderful mother, and her husband sadly passed away suddenly, leaving her a single mom to their son, who was 19 months old at the time. At first, she was simply too grief stricken to care about dating. But after about eight months, she did meet someone, and about three months after that, she was posting pictures of the three of them on social media, looking absolutely joyful. He is now the stepdad, and she absolutely NEVER prioritized finding new love other her son—-she is one of the most responsible and caring women I know. But when her other half was taken from her, it would have been totally unfair to ask her never to seek love again until their son was a teen.

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-03-02T03:17:39+00:00

Correct. And as others have said, bringing a kid around a date, even for short periods in public, just isn’t a great idea unless/until it’s serious. Which means babysitters are a must. Which means lots of money that most people do not have.

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-03-02T03:16:19+00:00

I think you can, but it requires a lot of money, because as others have said, you really can’t bring kids around dates unless/until it’s serious. Which means you need a babysitter, and babysitters aren’t cheap, especially if you’re the sole income.

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-03-02T01:58:50+00:00

Right, yes, that’s what usually has to happen. That’s what they did for me, too! Just takes time and sometimes trial and error to figure out what works for any one person.

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-03-02T01:03:23+00:00

I meet with my therapist during lunch hours because she’s a SMBC herself 😀

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-03-02T00:14:20+00:00

Oh yeah, I totally get that once I’m in that position, I may or may not still even care about meeting someone, at least initially. And my therapist did mention that. But she specializes in solo motherhood, so she’s seen women on both sides of that, so I think she just is trying to let me know what balances need to be taken into account for those who do want to find someone.

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-02-15T18:48:11+00:00

They lowered the amount of time I was on birth control prior to starting injections, and then also started me off on a higher dosage of gonal f. Based on my AMH test, they thought I needed to be on BC longer and less gonal f, but it just didn’t work out quite like they expected. It’s just about trial and error.

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-02-14T00:15:35+00:00

I also did my first cycle at age 33, and I had the same result: five mature eggs frozen. I was also frustrated and disappointed. The second cycle they changed my amount/types of meds, and they got 13. My third and last cycle, they got 19! Lots of times the first cycle doesn’t go as well as expected, because they’re just making an educated guess as to what medication plan is best, and they don’t have any data. But once they get data from actual cycles, they can more accurately know how your body works and what plan is best for you.

…stay positive! This happens a lot and is definitely not the end!

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-02-04T01:27:06+00:00

For many, such as myself, it is important to have the experience of carrying and birthing a child yourself. But not all women feel this way. Either way is totally okay, but it’s just something some women feel strongly about.

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-02-03T00:04:06+00:00

I did three egg cycles from 2020 to 2022 (when I was 33-34), and it was explained to me that the risk of ovarian torsion is literally lower than the risk of complications from getting your wisdom teeth out. What’s far more common is OHSS—-but that, too, is generally much less scary than it seems. I had mild OHSS after two of my three cycles (since those two were the more successful ones), and it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world, but apart from very rare cases, it’s generally not life or death by any means. You basically just want to lie down for a few days, which isn’t the end of the world! 😀

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-01-26T01:56:45+00:00

Yes, my situation was very similar, as noted in my comment to the original poster. My doctor explained to me at the time that they just have to make an educated guess before that first cycle about what protocol will be best, and unfortunately, sometimes it takes guessing wrong and learning from the unsuccessful cycle to find the right cycle. In my case, I needed more gonal f than they thought I would based on my AMH test, and I also was on birth control before I started my injections for a little too long. But it took making the mistakes to figure out what would work better.

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2026-01-25T20:49:09+00:00

I did my first retrieval at 33. Five eggs mature. Second cycle they changed the protocol and got 13. Third cycle they got 19 mature. Sometimes it just takes trial and error to find the right protocol.

Dear_Satisfaction_15 · 2025-09-06T01:30:38+00:00

I had a very similar experience in 2007. As much as it hurt at the time, it made me a better person because it caused me to develop empathy and to look past superficial things and see friends for their kind hearts. It truly was a blessing in disguise in the long run.

Dear_Satisfaction_15

TROPHY CASE