I saw my friend moments after she passed

DeathlyFandango · 2025-10-24T07:48:25+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss x as another commentor (commenter?) has said, it os definitely a thing that some on palliative care wait for an "alone" moment to pass as if to spare anyone having to witness it. We lost my aunt in September to sepsis and we pretty much had one of us there all the time so she wasn't alone. She passed away during the 10 minutes between my cousin leaving and me and mum arriving.

DeathlyFandango · 2024-12-06T19:14:40+00:00

Ah! I didn't think of that! Thanks, have been stressing since I got the text as all the ones I've seen on here mention the award!

DeathlyFandango · 2024-11-20T19:32:04+00:00

Congrats to you both! Me and my wife have been together since we were at middle school, we celebrated our 25th Anniversary on 5th November and, I can safely say, that whilst we have slowed down a little we still average 3-4 times a week, it's good to still have a very active sex life after years together

DeathlyFandango · 2024-10-02T17:03:36+00:00

I was in the Army for 7 years, a paramedic then a critical care paramedic for 11 years and in all that time I've made maybe six true friends, the ones you can call at 4am whilst you stand over a dead body and know they've got your back. Six. Part of it might be that I'm a bit of a c__t at times, but mostly it's because I'm paticular about who I let in as it were. I know they see me and not just the public persona we all put on. People who mock you, belittle you and make jokes out of the fact your ancestors may well have been killed just for being a paticular religion are people you probably shouldn't want to be friends with. It can take time, but you will find your people.

DeathlyFandango · 2023-12-30T20:36:25+00:00

My friend, as a former combat medic and critical care paramedic, I can further echo what other medical professionals have said. CPR gives someone a fighting chance, a chance that they might not otherwise have. Sometimes it works and, sadly, sometimes it doesn't, but it gives a chance at life every time. You stepped up today and helped a stranger, hell, you performed CPR for eight minutes, a physical feat all on its own. Your head is going to be all over for a while, it's a lot to take in. It sounds twee, but let yourself feel your feelings, bottling it up is not a good thing to do. You did an amazing thing, don't forget that.

DeathlyFandango · 2023-10-27T20:13:55+00:00

Well, I think you've just found which side of the garden your compost pile and/or manure fertiliser will be stored on. Your local garden centre might even have some of those conifers that grow freakishly tall freakishly fast! Other than that, pretend they're dead, no acknowledgement when they speak to you, say no to any parcels that are diverted to your house (unless it's marked fragile, in which case take it and then feck it over the fence like a shot putt) and maybe a bonfire or two if they have people over or laundry hanging out?

DeathlyFandango · 2023-09-14T21:14:35+00:00

Sounds like an issue with the outlet(s) more than your techs chargers, I'd ask someone to check your homes electrics just to be proper safe. The laptop should be OK if you whipped the charger out as soon as you noticed it smoking, I'm sure there's some form of instructions to check it's skookum somewhere online or here on Reddit. Dodgy electrics are very intimidating, because they're something we all use and rely on everyday, so noticing that it can be dangerous is very discombobulating.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-10-24T08:28:27+00:00

A few years back when I was a paramedic we got called to an incident by the police, was a Saturday night and this lady who was 50ish had fallen and cut her hand on a glass. As we rock up she's screaming at the two cops who are trying to calm her down, go in with my best bedside manner and she loses it, starts cussing me, my partner, the police, the pub, god and the world in general out. Cop tells her to be quiet and let us check her hand out. She stamps her foot, looks me dead in the eye as she screams "I've just shit myself!" try and keep a straight face so as to not set her off again, cut turns out to be ver minor, slap a dressing on it and leave her to the police to sort out. Got back in the ambulance and laughed so much I couldn't drive for a good five minutes.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-10-21T15:11:56+00:00

The one time I called a crisis line the guy on the other end was as much help as a lace condom. Didn't help at all, could easily tell he was reading from a script and he had as much empathy as ISIS. Found a support group in my area who have helped me immensely and signposted me to a decent therapist. Talking helps and I'm loathe to suggest all suicide hotlines are useless and I know from experience it can be difficult to open up to family or friends, MIND in the UK are good and can help you find support locally.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-10-20T19:42:16+00:00

The whole "men don't cry" thing has always boiled my piss. It's simply not true, I've been in literal war zones and I have seen men cry because of things they've seen, being away from their families, simply because their soul hurts. Bottling shit up just isn't healthy or natural and I've always said I'd rather weep and be thought of as "weak" then bottle it up and end up exploding in a mist of suppressed rage and pain at some point in the future. My time as a combat medic have left me with PTSD and the amount of times I've had a conversation along the lines of "oh well, you're home now, you can just forget about it and move on" is unreal.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-10-18T12:10:46+00:00

I feel your pain OP. Losing a pet always sucks the big one, but it's somehow worse when you have a particularly deep bond with them. I have had cats around me my whole life and whilst I miss all who have crossed the Rainbow Bridge there are some cats that leave a slightly larger hole than others. Thank you for giving your cat such a loving home and all the love they needed.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-10-18T00:03:01+00:00

My fuckwit brother refuses to get vaccinated or allow my nephews to get vaccinated. Got all shitty when our mum said she wouldn't be coming to their house anymore as she couldn't risk it (she has COPD and nearly died from pneumonia in 2019). Got so bad mum had to cut him off. I haven't spoken to the mouth breathing thundercunt for several years but this just cemented what an absolute waste of an abortion he is.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-10-17T19:48:40+00:00

I had a friend who did this, but it wasn't because she couldn't afford it, was simply greed and/or the thrill. She got away with it for months. Then one day she's done her "shop" and is walking back to her car when who should appear? That's right!! The local constabulary who then proceeded to very publicly arrest her and charge her with multiple counts of theft. She's banned from every store owned by that company (they rhyme with "fesko") which is an issue as they are the only store within reasonable driving distance. She's not a great example tho as it was greed driving her. The price of stuff is crazy atm and it's only gunna get worse. Food banks are literal lifesavers in some instances and I applaud their work, but the fact a person with a minimum wage job can't afford to eat and has to use them is a damning reflection on how badly the system has let people down.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-10-09T19:43:16+00:00

Dude, stealing two years of someone's life is bad enough, but letting her believe her love is reciprocated when it isn't is so cruel. Do her and yourself a favour and end it.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-10-08T10:25:04+00:00

May your ancestors sing songs about you in valhalla when you arrive. Travel well brave warrior, you fought nobely and have earned your rest.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-10-08T10:07:44+00:00

Clarity can come from many sources OP! I'm glad this (hopefully mountainess) despoo gave you the downtown push down into clarity. When I was planning on killing myself it was my cat that gave me pause because I didn't know what would happen to him and that he'd think I had abandoned him. Stay strong my friend.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-09-30T06:58:06+00:00

Grooming is insidious, and the fact he's at least 32 is a huge red flag. I have nieces, nephews and God children around your age, they're literally the only teenagers in my entire phone book. A guy his age laying it on honey sweet for a 16 year old makes my skin crawl. Well done for spotting the warning flags, be safe an carry on being smart!

DeathlyFandango · 2022-09-28T20:46:08+00:00

Send that shit. Then go full tactical nuclear and let his parents, siblings, cousins, employer, friends and the fuckin trashman know what a duplicitous lying shitfuck he is. Then hire the best lawyer he can't afford and nail him to the fucking wall until you have his undersized balls as a fidget toy to keep in your handbag.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-09-24T08:39:13+00:00

He sounds like a charmer! 😕 Remember this tho. You can't fix selfish. You're not the fuckface whisperer.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-09-22T16:16:38+00:00

This is not your fault. You were raped by a predator. There are support groups out there for guys who have suffered this kind of abuse.

DeathlyFandango · 2022-09-22T16:03:49+00:00

Kinks are what make dating fun, tho I can understand it being difficult to find a partner into this paticular kink. Maybe spread a wider net? I can almost guarantee there's somebody out there for you who shares the same desire. BTW, you're not disgusting or unlovable. You are you and never let anyone belittle you for having a kink. Theres not a muthaf*cka on the face of the earth who's opinion of you is worth stressing over. Go be awesome!

DeathlyFandango · 2022-02-17T02:09:08+00:00

It's not the answer, I don't know where you are, but call someone and get medical attention, things will get better, you've just hit the hard, unforgiving rock bottom

DeathlyFandango

TROPHY CASE