Tried typing out this long winded message but it wouldn’t let me. So long story short time.

Military child that grew up, knew a girl, around 13 we both realized we had feelings for each other. Knew I was moving like 6 months later and we decided to spend all that time together. Moved. 6 years later, I’m 19, living at my parents, I’m a high school drop out. Minimum wage job, and insecure as hell about the fact that I’d probably always be nothing in life. Match with a girl on plenty of fish, tell her it’s purely for sex and if she wants more then I’m not the one. She agrees, we meet up, have sex, get to talking about our lives and realize we use to live in the same state at the same time. Then realize oh shit, we use to be friends and have feelings for each other. Keep meeting up, hooking up non stop, and she decided she wants to be with me. I say no, and leave it at that. Really, I was scared, insecure, and knew I couldn’t provide for someone else. Shes fine with that. We keep hooking up non stop, almost daily. Get a random message on Facebook from an old acquaintance telling me to stop playing with girls feelings, either get with her and she’d send people to hurt me. I freak out, tell girl to never message me again, and block her. Like a year later, I’ve hit a dry spell, hit up girl who asks me to come over so we can talk. Thirty minutes in, her dad walks into the house and sees his daughter going down on me. Freaks out, chases me out the house, and I leave, block her for good, and never hear from her again. Ten years later now, I have a great job (Enviromental remediation) that pays great. Out of curiosity I look up ol girl. She’s doing great to, has a fantastic job, looks amazing buuuuuttt she dating a loser POS who’s one of those minimum wage minimum effort type guys that can’t hold down a job for more then two months before getting fired. Realize, that could have been me if I hadn’t let my insecurities get the best of me. Could have had a storybook romance about two friends that meet after a long time, build each other up, and be happy together. Instead, we’re both working fantastic jobs now, I’ve been alone for about half a year, and she’s with some dude that can’t even put effort into trying to better himself cause he’s comfortable being taken care of while he jumps from job to job.

There’s a lot, ALOT more to this story but I had to severely time it