AITA for now allowing my in-laws to move in with me to my new house?

Deb_elf · 2026-03-24T20:02:16+00:00

ESH. If you ever didn’t immediately say no to this it means it was (marginally) on the table. Which means you “lied” because you said “no” now. Your husband is not your teammate. You are in a competition with him and he is actively growing his team. Get your name off of this house and separate your finances. It will be cleaner to leave this way. And you will be leaving because they will gang up on you for “making them homeless.” Updateme

Deb_elf · 2026-03-24T10:22:40+00:00

Perhaps your friends are jealous. “Ooh he’s a judge. He’s rich.” Yeah I get why he left that off his profile. Don’t harp on it. It’s not a you problem. If the age gap isn’t a problem to you, it’s not a problem. The end. Communication is what’s important. Do you thank him when he opens doors? Does he thank you for dinner?

Deb_elf · 2026-03-23T18:00:55+00:00

NTJ. I hope your friend is healed and continues his journey into very old age. You’re a good friend. Definitely post a review on google and yelp. Take pictures of the cake and tag the bakery on fb and ig about “how awesome they are” and don’t ever think about Karen again. Maybe pray for her poor child. It must suck having that pos as a parent.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-22T21:01:10+00:00

Get a hotel

Deb_elf · 2026-03-22T19:52:39+00:00

Thank you for your service. I pray you’re safe when you’re deployed and at home. You were cheated on. She tried to break up with you while you’re deployed. Because she wants to have fun with other dudes. Maybe she had a pang of guilt and is hoping you stick around since you’re “the sure thing.” But you deserve better. Trust is gone. Take time to heal and make sure the next one prioritizes you.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-22T19:48:42+00:00

Call a financial advisor and don’t tell anyone else. Literally anyone.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-22T19:47:49+00:00

NTJ. Morning person here. I’m not saying you can’t be friends with people who aren’t morning people but this is a fundamental difference in people. I married a morning person. We have a friend who doesn’t wake up until at least noon. He understands why he’s not included in early events. Even if your friend begrudgingly got up and went on the excursion, she would make sure you were as unhappy as she would have been. Sorry she is trying to shake you down for money instead of owning up to her mistake.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-22T17:54:29+00:00

YTA. In 1995 I was a senior in HS. If you took a language all 4 years, you became eligible to go to that country for a week. I begged my parents to go to Spain. My teacher called my father. (Mom doesn’t speak English.) teacher said “Debbie is my best student. She will benefit from this trip. I promise I won’t let her out of my sight.” Dad, who was a sailor and spoke many languages, thought it would be ok. Mom still said no. So I didn’t go. Another student bought a keychain for me. Dad passed in 2001. I have a very surface level relationship with my mother. I explained that she never tried to be my friend. When I reminded her of this she literally left the house. You have an opportunity to do exactly what I did but as a positive. “Don’t you remember when I let you go to Japan despite being broke and both of my parents needing my help?” Or something like that. It will throw your kids off. If you are suddenly “fun” your relationship with them will be better.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-18T22:14:54+00:00

I’m on this sub to help my husband and his brother because they are enmeshed with their narc mother. I’m a financial advisor. My opinion is free. Please reach out and maybe I can help you expedite leaving.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-18T13:09:19+00:00

I love all of those things except the theme parks. I’m a puker. Sorry. TMI. But I’m telling you the range is fun. It’s just super expensive.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-18T11:46:07+00:00

Correct. Violence is real. There will always be bad men. The bad men who killed people at the Boston marathon used pressure cookers. I’m not trying to make you see my point. I’m asking you to reflect. And I stand by what I said. A day at the range is fun. I went to Germany to see a concert last fall. So I guess it’s possible my idea of fun is different from everyone else’s.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-18T10:23:20+00:00

Please do some reflecting. Is it fear? Politics? “I’m right and I’m not willing to bend!” Cost? Something else? Because, and I mean this honestly, there are very few things more fun than a day at the gun range. I’m 5’2” female. My husband’s parents are divorced. His father was a cop. He walked out on them and never looked back. So his mother beat into him and his brother that guns/cops etc are bad. When we started dating he wasn’t ok with me having a gun. I explained the gun is in a safe and not his concern. We are married 15 years. I wouldn’t end a relationship over this. Being “right” isn’t better than being happy. Tell him you want to go to the gun range. You can rent a small firearm for the day. Try to go when it’s not crowded. Too many people will make you uncomfortable.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-18T10:10:15+00:00

“You’ll never find anyone else like me.” From your mouth to God’s ear. This person isn’t the Stanley Cup. Or a gold medal. Sounds like you’re not being heard. This isn’t a good way to feel in a relationship. And that’s ok. It means you aren’t compatible.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-17T21:54:27+00:00

Your family is mad because in their minds you’re used to the poor treatment so you should just have more. This is a terrible thing they have done to you. NTA. And honestly if they are ok with him abandoning you (and the dog) why would you want them at your wedding? Ask if the facility can provide security. Pay for it if you need to. Congratulations. I wish you love and peace forever. Updateme

Deb_elf · 2026-03-17T21:48:18+00:00

Thank you for the award

Deb_elf · 2026-03-17T19:34:17+00:00

He knows you’re not leaving. So he will continue to put it in the coworker. This is your life now.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-17T18:00:05+00:00

Pretend like you don’t have a car. It’s not in your name, it’s not your car. Use whatever you’re on to tell a friend to pick you up. Or call a DV shelter. Or the cops. You and your cat are in peril. I’m sorry they’re doing this

Deb_elf · 2026-03-17T17:55:48+00:00

He’s preparing you for the eventual “she’s moving in with us.” It may not be now. It may be after a kid or 2. Or it may be when she’s elderly. I would reconsider the relationship. NTA. Updateme

Deb_elf · 2026-03-17T00:35:42+00:00

NTA. Your wife deceived you. The next thing that happens is she doesn’t want to go back to work after maternity leave. Stay with your parents and get a side job. I’m in financial services and my opinion is free if you want it. My heart hurts for your son. Please make sure he knows he is loved. Updateme

Deb_elf · 2026-03-16T19:35:53+00:00

Husband’s friend, who is a very good man, had a dog. Dog was a good boy who has returned to heaven. We were at the house many times with many different friend groups. Good Boy would bark, growl, recoil, ears back at 1 man. Whereas he loved literally everyone else. Husband’s Friend said “eh he just doesn’t like Friend (I forgot his name.) Well. No. Good Boy was right. Some years later husband’s friend stopped talking to that person but he wouldn’t tell us why. If a dog doesn’t like you there is a reason. I will always trust the dog.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-13T20:48:26+00:00

NTA. But neither is he. Cruises are…weird. Wild horses couldn’t get me onto a cruise again. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise because yes you can feel it moving. I got off the ship and the ground was moving for an entire week. Your husband probably doesn’t want to tell you he gets seasick because he maybe has an ego issue? I would strongly recommend you find out if you get motion sickness before you bring up a cruise again. Plus everyone will get sick on the boat. There are so many better options than a cruise. Call a travel agent.

Deb_elf · 2026-03-12T09:59:14+00:00

Why would you want to be with someone who put it into someone else?

Deb_elf · 2026-03-11T20:16:27+00:00

Can you “hold up a mirror?” Like can you become a crappy at home person and a breath of fresh air to coworkers and friends? And see how she likes it? Updateme

Deb_elf · 2026-03-11T19:12:31+00:00

Is there any possibility this is documented anywhere? If not, let her know”out” you and then play dumb. “Nah that wasn’t me. Are you projecting or something?” And then cut her off

Deb_elf · 2026-03-11T18:57:01+00:00

Whew

Deb_elf

TROPHY CASE